An Offer You Can’t Refuse

A couple of weeks back, I chatted up a friend of mine, Angel (hindi nya tunay na pangalan). She told me that a company told her that they are about to make her an offer she can’t refuse. Well, thought I, that may not amount to anything much but that’s bound to be interesting. Later, she chatted me up again to report what the offer was:

Angel: i gots my offer btw

Angel: and it’s measly.

Rio: o_o

Angel: 17K fulltime, nechan.

Rio: that’s it?

Angel: grabe.

Angel: that’s eeeet.

Rio: that’s the offer you can’t refuse?

Angel: apparently.

Angel: ohmigad.

Angel: parang… ang baba naman ng self-esteem ko kung tanggapin ko yun.

Rio: an offer i can’t refuse kasi involves a 6-digit tax free salary, free gourmet lunch and dinner, a porsche, and a daily backrub.

Note to future employers: Yes, my idea of “an offer I can’t refuse” includes the said things. It’s not that I am expensive, or skilled enough to be expensive, it’s that that’s literally an offer a yuppie like me won’t be able to refuse. Not 17 thousand pesetas.

In theory, An Offer You Can’t Refuse shouldn’t be used at all, especially by prospective employers attempting to lure employees. An Offer You Can’t Refuse can be consigned to the Corpo Mythical Creatures, because any offer preceded by the said phrase can fall flat on its face faster than four o’clock. Let’s be realistic, of course you can refuse 17 thousand pesos, especially if your job requires being creative all the time, being at events all the time, making logos, making proposals, rendering 10,000 hours of overtime (nevermind that there are only 168 hours in a week) and producing AVPs, among other (not less shittier) things. If there is a real, honest to goodness unrefusable offer that isn’t limited to one’s imagination, please let this jaded pisante know.