Yap, just one of those days.

You leave for work 15 minutes early. You get on the bus and nab your most favorite seat. This is located right beside the bus door, the best place in your opinion especially in cases when immediate evacuation is required (see Rio’s Zombies on the Bus Contingency Plan). So anyway, while waiting for the rest of the bus to fill up, you distract yourself with thoughts of medical health plans and of writing the boringest, blandest pieces of sh- work you have written and will continue to write for the sake of sustaining your debilitating addiction to eating three times a day. When you tune back to reality, you glance at your cellphone and realize you’ve been sitting in a stationary bus for the past 15 or so minutes. Only then did the bus conductor realize that the passengers need to get to their respective destinations – in your case Ayala Avenue, hopefully by 8.30 and just so it’s clear, you need to get there today. The plodding creature (in retrospect, the guy looks like breathing is a conscious effort for him) calls the driver to get with the program.

The collective hostility turned from the conductor to the driver. To answer everybody’s hostile glares, the bus driver lets out a series of grunts which you take to mean in Earth language that the bus has refused to move its gigantic rusty ass and has blown a hose to punctuate its point. You calmly abandon your most favorite seat and actively restrain yourself from braining the bus conductor who was shaking his head and staring at the ragged pieces of hose and wires sticking out of the bus’ innards. You proceed to attempt to disintegrate the driver, the conductor, and the bus into a smoldering pit of refuse but you suddenly remember that you left your evil powers at home.

You make a mental note to never leave your laser beams of death at home and proceed to cross the street. This is fairly easy since traffic has been effectively blocked by the bus you were just on. Something cuts through the tempest in your head (and your path across the street), specifically a scooter. At this point in the story, you realize that you basically woke up this morning completely oblivious to the fact that the universe got out of bed today totally intent in methodically screwing with you.

Eventually, you find yourself in a shuttle service van on its way to Makati. A quarter into the trip you lose any sensation from the top of your head (bumbunan), cryogenic effect courtesy of the van’s exemplary subzero airconditioning system. You run the four blocks to your office and finally sit down to work.

Yap, just one of those days.