Have you ever been constipated before? You want to poop but can’t, however hard you try? (Actually, if you tried hard enough you might get yourself hemorrhoids.) Anyway, bad bloody images aside, constipation is a bad, bad thing to have. Good things come to those who cannot shit though, as there are drugs available that can help you with your intestinal evacuation problem (nope, this is not an ad) whereas you can’t drink anything to cure constipation of the brain.
When one gets brain constipation, ideas refuse to be shat out and sentences that were there a second ago evaporate into thin air. I imagine they wave goodbye as they go. This is typically bad news for somebody like me, who like the girl in the Dulcolax commercial is left feeling terrible, out of sorts, and irritable. The difference between me and the girl in the commercial is that she doesn’t get paid to empty her bowels, I on the other hand, am paid to write.
(At this point in this post, all of the other sentences have happily jumped into a void of absolute nothingness and thus I am forced to shut the fuck up.)
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