This morning I woke up in a mood fouler than a garbage dump on collection day; this is usually accompanied by a screeching migraine and the grim realization that even though I don’t want to I have to get my sorry ass to the office. So while nursing said bitching migraine and said crippling and despairing thoughts, I naturally am annoyed at everything and anything in existence.
[digression] While on the topic of annoyances and “things to fuel your murderous rampage,” I’d just like to say that reading and seeing news about a balding 50 year old’s love life is not only annoying, but also highly disturbing. What makes these news networks and broadsheets think that everybody wants to be subjected to this type of torture? Don’t tell me it’s because this balding 50 year old is the first bachelor president, it’s impossible to care less about whom he (and his sisters) deems worthy to take out to dinner. Here, I’ll ask a sensible question: Did you ever wonder about Erap and Loi’s sex life? How about the Ramos’ adventures under the sheets? Did you? If you did, you may want to seek the help of a professional.
And you know what would make for more compelling news? The Maguindanao Massacre. The Hacienda Luisita Massacre and the “fair” deal they gave the farmers. The Pork Barrel (teka, pera ko yan ah). The recent Bus Strikes (I’ve never wished death upon anything harder than I wished for the death of Claire dela Fuente’s cuticles). The Hostage Taking (last I heard, everybody got a slap on the wrist and a lollipop). [/digression]
As I leave the house somebody asks me, “Meron ka nanaman ba? Ang sungit sungit mo nanaman.” (Are you PMSing? You’re grouchy.) At times like these, that is the wrongest thing you should ask especially if you are a. a guy and therefore is bereft of a uterus or b. not gay. When a guy asks this question I wish I had superpowers that would allow me to shrink gonads into non-existence and bestow the new eunuch with a spanking new vagina. That way, he shall then have the ability to menstruate, get pregnant, and experience the wonderful world of PMS.
Again, matamaan sapul.
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