good morning, monday

So you innocently wake up at 6:30 this morning and peel yourself off bed at 6:40 thinking confidently that you have more than enough time. Your cell phone time is specifically set 20 minutes advanced to counteract your lazy ass tendencies during most if not all mornings and you think 20 minutes is enough to counter that final written warning that’s going to mean your termination.

While having your morning coffee, you take a tentative glance at the morning TV show, with the time conveniently displayed at the lower right of the screen. You realize in horror that you had changed your phone’s battery two nights prior, and you had forgotten to reset it. Your 20-minute buffer dissipates before your eyes and another unfortunate realization dawns: you are now running 10 minutes late. You clamber up the stairs, grab your towel, and rush to the bathroom. In 5 minutes, you’re out again, clambering back up the stairs and attempting to teleport into your clothes.

As soon as you step out of the house, you’re right on the dot. The spring in your step is back and you are immensely pleased with yourself for salvaging your Monday morning. It is not completely ruined. Your phone vibrates and your read the message from your officemate: “Dude, don’t forget. It’s business casual today.” You unconsciously utter your first train of profanities for the week; you are wearing your Chucks, jeans, and a shirt. You’re as far from “business casual” as a llama wearing a tie in the Himalayas. Actually, the llama would have been more formal. Your officemate helpfully suggests that you change your clothes, but then you remember that your leather shoes are in your closet, at home, in Las Piñas. Your current location is Sucat.

In your murderous irritation, you briefly consider strangling the person nearest you or your officemate when you get to the office but you let your PO dissipate in the bus. You briefly entertain the notion of the bus crashing into the car immediately in front as it seems to be powered by 4 frantic hamsters running on wheels. Two seconds later, the bus almost plows into the hamster mobile and you swear to be more careful when considering notions since the Cosmos has a sense of humor, but sometimes it fails to recognize sarcasm.

You run to the office, you get there on time and by the way, you’ve been transferred to an office on the highest floor of the building. Your desk faces the glorious, smoggy Makati skyline. Good thing you’re not afraid of heights yes? …no, wait.

Happy Monday to you, too.