Rica and I leaving Jollibee with my Chickenjoy in tow…
Guard: *Turning to Rica* Thank you ma’am. *Turning to me* Thank you sir.
Me to Rica: Did he just call me sir?
Rica: I believe so, yes.
Me to traffic, pedestrians and the universe: MAY BOOBS AKO FOR HEAVEN’S SAKE!
—
Nanay and I watching TV show featuring Jiro Manio as a kid with a kid…
Me: Ano ba naman tong mga batang to, ambabata palang may anak na.
Nanay: Oo nga eh. Tsk.
Me: Okay lang naman ang sex, diba Nanay? *Nanay nods* Di man lang mag ingat. Condoms kids, condoms!
—
Me, fixing the neighbor’s computer…
Owner of the PC: Uy, gumana na, galing. San ka nagtatrabaho?
Me: Um, sa office po. *Quickly adding* Writer po ako, by the way.
[They let me steal their wifi in return, so it’s okay if they mistook me for the computer repairstress.]
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