It’s that feeling of crawling under your skin, of inadequacy, of frustration, of crashing. It’s that need to smoke until you get a migraine, to smoke until the nerves settle which they never do, but still you continue to light up until you realize you’ve consumed a pack in a few hours. 

It’s that Hocrap! feeling you get when you wake up late for an appointment, or wake up from an unscheduled nap. There’s a moment of wondering where you are, then the realization hits - you are fucked up severe. Everything is sideways afterward and just wrong. You can’t put your finger on when the wrongness started, hence you don’t know what you need to fix. You decide, as you lie wide awake at 5 am, that maybe staying still is the solution. Nothing may fix your nothing problem, and maybe when you wake up, if you manage to go to sleep, the world will have righted itself.