[06:48:24] <Chewie> Noooo onnne
[06:48:33] <Chewie> Thick as Anton
[06:48:38] <Chewie> No one's sick as Anton
[06:48:45] <Sally> XD
[06:48:54] <Chewie> No one's expertise in arnis is extreme like Anton's
[06:49:04] <Chewie> And every inch of him is covered in HAIR
[06:49:45] *** Steven Seagal has joined the room as a participant
[06:50:35] <Chewie> The sins of the past haunt us in the present
[06:50:58] <Chewie> Like yesterday's mexican food. Lots of beans in burritos. OLE
[06:51:11] <Chichar> Steven Seagal, can you ACT??!?!!?!?!!??
[06:51:19] <Chichar> Didn't think so.
[06:52:42] <Sally> My blissful vacation-hangovered mind is now shot. Hello, chaotic chat D:
[06:53:05] <Chewie> Oh crap, it's Steven Seagal
[06:53:31] *** Chewie is now known as Jean Claude Van Damme
[06:53:45] <Jean Claude Van Damme> I kick your ass. I am mussels from brussels
[06:53:58] *** Chichar is now known as Jackie Chan
[06:54:07] <Jackie Chan> I'ma go MYSELF on yo ass.
[06:54:12] <Jean Claude Van Damme> You're breaking the chain
[06:54:23] <Jean Claude Van Damme> It's supposed to be mediocre martial-arts actors
[06:54:36] <Jean Claude Van Damme> Jackie Chan is still decent
[06:54:48] <Jackie Chan> I am JACKIE CHAN
[06:54:50] <Jean Claude Van Damme> Wait
[06:54:54] <Jean Claude Van Damme> Oh yeah.
[06:55:03] <Jackie Chan> Oh wait.
[06:55:08] <Jackie Chan> The god
[06:55:12] *** Jackie Chan is now known as Chuck Norris
[06:55:17] <Jean Claude Van Damme> Jet Li ka na lang--
[06:55:18] <Chuck Norris> Now we're talking
[06:55:19] <Jean Claude Van Damme> HOLY CRAP
[06:57:17] *** Chuck Norris is now known as Dolf Lundgren
[06:57:20] <Dolf Lundgren> Tama ba spelling?
[06:58:01] <Jean Claude Van Damme> Di ko na yan kilala
[06:58:05] <Jean Claude Van Damme> Sobrang obscure na
[06:58:23] <Sally> wrong spelling. Dolph :/
[06:58:36] <Jean Claude Van Damme> Dolfy
[06:58:38] <Jean Claude Van Damme> Hahahahaha
[06:59:03] <Sally> I can remember since his bad sex scene still jars my mind even if I saw it when I was just a toddler
[06:59:26] <Jean Claude Van Damme> Yung sa...er, Starship Troopers?
[06:59:37] <Jean Claude Van Damme> Yun ba?
[06:59:39] <Jean Claude Van Damme> Di ko na alam
[06:59:43] <Sally> er, no. Some crappy B-movie action flick.
[06:59:56] <knuckles> wala sya sa starship troopers
[07:00:07] <knuckles> si casper van dien yun
[07:00:10] <knuckles> :P
[07:00:30] <Sally> XD
[07:00:33] <Jean Claude Van Damme> Ahh oo nga
[07:00:38] <Jean Claude Van Damme> Well they look the freaking same I think
[07:00:43] <Jean Claude Van Damme> Or not
[07:00:45] <Jean Claude Van Damme> BAAH
[07:01:41] <knuckles> hahahaha
[07:01:43] <knuckles> yeah
[07:01:49] <knuckles> i'll be the HULK
[07:01:56] <knuckles> see if you can beat this
[07:02:06] *** knuckles is now known as Luke Ferrigno
[07:02:11] <Luke Ferrigno> bwahahahahaha
[07:02:23] <Jean Claude Van Damme> Aba aba
[07:02:26] *** Jean Claude Van Damme is now known as Adam West
[07:02:34] <Luke Ferrigno> ay sorry
[07:02:39] <Luke Ferrigno> Lou pala
[07:02:44] <Adam West> I'm the goddamn batman
[07:02:52] *** Luke Ferrigno is now known as Lou Ferrigno
[07:02:52] <Adam West> I'm writing in the bat-blog
[07:03:01] <Adam West> On my bat-computer
[07:03:09] <Lou Ferrigno> i'm bad and green and angry
[07:03:22] <Lou Ferrigno> and i have elastic trousers
[07:04:31] <Adam West> Well I have all sorts of bat-merchandise
[07:05:36] <Lou Ferrigno> you're just a rich bastard who likes hanging out with underage boys
[07:05:40] <Lou Ferrigno> :D
[07:06:24] <Adam West> WHAT
[07:06:45] <Adam West> Robin is...my partner! He wears the tights because it's a combat necessity.
[07:11:23] <Lou Ferrigno> steven seagal!
[07:12:00] <Sally> oh right guys
[07:12:42] <Dolf Lundgren> Adam West?
[07:12:48] <Sally> I have some obligatory post-vacation office offering for you guys, and its in the fridge
[07:12:49] <Adam West> Bow down
[07:12:55] <Adam West> 'Tis is greatness
[07:13:00] <Sally> just check em out o.o/
[07:13:09] <Adam West> Yeah, Sally bought us a large bunch of morons
[07:13:17] <Sally> uhm
[07:13:19] <Adam West> MORONS FROM LEYTE
[07:13:26] <Dolf Lundgren> MORONS ARE TASTY
[07:13:32] <Dolf Lundgren> DUMB BUT TASTY
[07:13:37] <Adam West> MMMM MMMMM BITCH
[07:13:44] <Adam West> It is bat-licious
[07:13:46] <Dolf Lundgren> MORONS AREN'T BITCHES
[07:13:52] <Sally> moron is pronounced with the stress on the last syllable D:
[07:13:56] <Dolf Lundgren> THEY'RE TOO MORONIC TO BITCH
[07:13:56] <Adam West> Morons~
[07:14:01] <Sally> ;-;
[07:14:53] <Sally> so yeah, just go grab a personal moron or two from the fridge. They're in a paper bag :3
[07:15:18] <Adam West> Bagged morons
[07:15:22] <Sally> XD
[07:16:37] <Dolf Lundgren> Morons in a bag
[07:16:46] <Dolf Lundgren> Whatever will they think of next?
[07:16:53] *** Dolf Lundgren is now known as Michael Pachter
[07:17:09] <Michael Pachter> I believe Morons will be the next best thing to Halo
[07:17:50] <Adam West> AY AY
[07:18:00] <Adam West> Sino yung other analyst bitch
[07:18:01] <Adam West> Ah well
[07:18:24] *** Adam West is now known as Mark Rein
[07:18:28] <Michael Pachter> Err...
[07:18:41] <Mark Rein> Unreal Tournament 3 will make you its bitch. Suck it down.
[07:18:49] <Michael Pachter> NO
[07:19:03] <Michael Pachter> Unreal Tournament 3 sales have been going down since day 1
[07:19:14] <Michael Pachter> NPD says Day 1 is your bitch now.
[07:19:58] <Michael Pachter> Oh and I love booth babes.
[07:20:24] <Mark Rein> In Unreal Tournament 4's Day 1, we will have no booth babes
[07:20:29] <Mark Rein> But BOOTH DUDES
[07:20:37] <Mark Rein> With firm, well-oiled buttocks
[07:21:05] <Michael Pachter> Oh gawd. Rein well oiled
[07:21:07] <Michael Pachter> Hmmm
[07:21:21] <Michael Pachter> I think Epic Games fiscal year performance will drop 200%
[07:21:40] <Mark Rein> Well thank you Mr Obvious
[07:21:41] <Michael Pachter> And concern for obesity will rise about the same.
[07:21:46] <Mark Rein> You like to pull things out of your ass
[07:21:58] <Michael Pachter> 2008, year of the Fat Rat.
[07:22:05] <Mark Rein> Heh, at least I'm not as pudgy as that Gabe Newell dickface
[07:22:19] <Michael Pachter> My ass is okay with it. As your investors should with your ass.
[07:22:34] <Michael Pachter> Gabe Newell doesn't seem to like PS3 much
[07:22:38] <Mark Rein> The guy eats his own weight in cake
[07:22:44] <Mark Rein> THAT'S BECAUSE HE'S AGAINST THE NEXT GEN
[07:22:46] <Mark Rein> THE NEXT GEN
[07:22:48] <Michael Pachter> I have an affection for PS3.
[07:22:55] <Michael Pachter> But I dare not say directly
[07:23:01] <Mark Rein> PS3 Fanboy
[07:23:04] <Michael Pachter> BEcause I am an unbiased analyst
[07:23:05] <Mark Rein> ENJOY YOUR BLUE RAY PLAYER
[07:24:13] <Lou Ferrigno> teka, i am hungry
[07:24:27] <Mark Rein> Tawag na tawag na
[07:24:33] <Lou Ferrigno> and if this hunger overcomes me, i shall turn green
[07:24:37] <Lou Ferrigno> quite literally
[07:24:44] <Mark Rein> We don't like you when you're hungry
[07:25:11] <Lou Ferrigno> and then you'll see me flail my arms and groan a lot
[07:25:16] *** Michael Pachter is now known as John Riccitiello
[07:25:23] <John Riccitiello> We're going to make more WII games
[07:25:31] <Mark Rein> Oh screw you
[07:25:37] <John Riccitiello> But they'll be multiplatform
[07:25:38] <Mark Rein> PS3 IS NEXT GEN
[07:25:46] <John Riccitiello> And microtransaction friendly
[07:25:50] <John Riccitiello> Because we're EA
[07:25:58] <John Riccitiello> And we're Wii'd it.
[07:26:13] *** Mark Rein is now known as Satoru Iwata
[07:26:23] <Satoru Iwata> Hello! I'm sorry we delayed Brawl for the Americas!
[07:26:25] <Satoru Iwata> (laughs)
[07:26:35] <John Riccitiello> LOL!
[07:26:53] <John Riccitiello> We delayed Battlefield Bad Company
[07:27:02] <Satoru Iwata> I hope you would still buy it and enjoy it, as we worked Sakurai's ass hard for it!
[07:27:05] <John Riccitiello> But Burnout Paradise is doing well
[07:27:07] <Satoru Iwata> Worked it long, and worked it hard!
[07:27:08] <John Riccitiello> Yes indeed.
[07:27:09] <Satoru Iwata> (chortles)
[07:28:20] <Satoru Iwata> SOMEBODY CALL CHOWKING ALREADY
[07:28:48] <John Riccitiello> I think Steven Seagal can do it.
[07:28:55] <John Riccitiello> The voice is perfect.
[07:29:05] <John Riccitiello> And I don't do phone calls
[07:29:18] <John Riccitiello> That's what a secretary is for
[07:29:30] <Satoru Iwata> Okay
[07:29:46] <Satoru Iwata> Somebody get the over-the-hill gaijin to call the fucking Chinese Takeout joint already
[07:29:53] <Satoru Iwata> Oh, and I hope you enjoy Brawl!
[07:29:54] <Satoru Iwata> (laughs)
[07:35:58] <Satoru Iwata> I just ordered for you gaijin barbarians. I hope you're happy making the superior race here play Phone Monkey again.
[07:36:09] <Satoru Iwata> Please purchase Brawl and enjoy it to your heart's content!
[07:36:11] <Satoru Iwata> (laughs)
[07:38:18] <Lou Ferrigno> LOL
[07:40:02] *** Lou Ferrigno is now known as Hiroshi Yamauchi
[07:41:20] <Satoru Iwata> Ay astig si Ultimate Warrior
[07:41:27] <Hiroshi Yamauchi> suck on my tiny yellow balls
[07:41:30] <Satoru Iwata> I BREATHE THE AIR OF COMBAT
[07:41:45] <Satoru Iwata> Wala, talo na ako
[07:41:50] <Satoru Iwata> (laughs)
[07:44:54] <Hiroshi Yamauchi> (laughs) Sony sucks
[07:44:59] <Hiroshi Yamauchi> PSP sucks
[07:45:06] <Satoru Iwata> It looks like a penis, yes, Hiroshi-san.
[07:45:10] <Hiroshi Yamauchi> Mr. Ballmer sucks
[07:45:18] <Hiroshi Yamauchi> (laughs)
[07:46:14] <Hiroshi Yamauchi> hai, and they should all suck our Wiis because our DS prints money!
[07:46:36] <Satoru Iwata> A lot of money!
[07:46:38] <Satoru Iwata> (laughs)
[08:07:15] <Steven Seagal> :D
[08:07:19] <Steven Seagal> byebye
[08:19:02] <Hiroshi Yamauchi> steven seagal has left the building
[08:41:47] <John Riccitiello> "Jim Ward gets Gerstmann'ed"
[08:41:48] <John Riccitiello> LOL
[08:41:56] *** John Riccitiello is now known as Jeff Gerstmann
[08:41:59] <Jeff Gerstmann> I'm a BRAND now
[08:42:08] <Jeff Gerstmann> Synonymous to fired
[08:42:18] <Jeff Gerstmann> Or dishonorably discharged
[09:25:12] *** Hiroshi Yamauchi is now known as knuckles
[10:11:36] <Jim Ward> I got kicked out of LucasArts.
[10:11:58] <Jeff Gerstmann> Cry me a river. I got locked out of my GameSpot office.
[10:12:09] <Jeff Gerstmann> And got my ass kicked by CNET
[10:12:15] <Jim Ward> That's because you were too honest with Kane & Lynch
[10:12:15] <Jeff Gerstmann> Screw em all I say
[10:12:18] <Jim Ward> You could have just said
[10:12:30] <Jim Ward> "This game is MEH" and left it at that.
[10:12:41] <Jeff Gerstmann> Kane and Lynch. What a load of Eidos digested bovine droppings.
[10:12:58] <Jim Ward> MEH
[10:13:54] *** Jim Ward is now known as Ricardo Torres
[10:13:58] <Ricardo Torres> Hey, Jeff.
[10:14:05] <Ricardo Torres> Guess who just got your office with a view?
[10:14:07] <Ricardo Torres> That's right, me.
[10:14:09] <Ricardo Torres> Suck it, bitch.
[10:14:15] <Ricardo Torres> Suck it long, and suck it hard.
[10:14:20] *Jeff Gerstmann gags.
[10:14:29] <knuckles> /wrists
[10:15:36] *** Jeff Gerstmann is now known as Cooper Lawrence
[10:15:53] <Cooper Lawrence> Jeff misspoke about Kane and Lynch
[10:16:12] <Ricardo Torres> Maybe if he didn't use UGLY too many damn times.
[10:16:27] *** Ricardo Torres is now known as Masahiro Sakurai
[10:16:41] <Cooper Lawrence> But I don't see how that's possible
[10:16:46] <Masahiro Sakurai> GameSpot is a bunch of gaijins. They will give Brawl an 8.8 because I have not paid them enough.
[10:16:49] <Masahiro Sakurai> (laughs)
[10:16:49] <Cooper Lawrence> There's no sex involved
[10:17:37] <Masahiro Sakurai> SHOOOSH-SHOOOSH-SHOOOSH! Blow it out of your asses, Gamespot cheeseburger-inhaling gaijins!
[10:18:05] <Masahiro Sakurai> Hahahaha
[10:18:16] *** Chichar is now known as Marvin Gaye
[10:18:32] <Marvin Gaye> Seems to me that GameSpot just needs some healing
[10:18:38] <Marvin Gaye> SEXUAL HEALING
[10:18:45] <Marvin Gaye> Hit it boys
[10:18:58] <Masahiro Sakurai> Lol.
[10:19:05] <Masahiro Sakurai> Er, I meant...
[10:19:06] <Masahiro Sakurai> (laughs)
[10:19:40] *knuckles slaps Sakurai and Gaye with giant trouts
[10:21:38] *** Marvin Gaye is now known as Jack HumpsOne.
[10:22:00] <Jack HumpsOne.> Hi. I'm Jack HumpsOne, Attorney at Law.
[10:23:44] <Masahiro Sakurai> Make like the honorable bonsai tree and FUCKING KILL YOURSELF.
[10:23:46] <Masahiro Sakurai> (laughs)
[10:24:12] <Jack HumpsOne.> Me? A Bonsai Tree?
[10:24:21] <Jack HumpsOne.> That's new. They always called me the retard.
[10:25:37] *knuckles shakes head
[10:27:54] *** Jack HumpsOne. is now known as Howard Stringer
[10:28:03] <Howard Stringer> The PS3 will last for ten years.
[10:28:32] <Howard Stringer> I probably will not live that long, but yeah, the PS3 will last a decade.
[10:30:03] <knuckles> LOL
[10:35:46] <Masahiro Sakurai> (laughs)
[10:47:57] <Howard Stringer> "College of St. Benilde preps for game development course"
[10:48:29] <Howard Stringer> We shall send PS3 units to that school for proper education in programming for a true next gen console
[10:48:31] <knuckles> excuse me?
[10:49:01] <knuckles> now more dumb rich bastards are going to enroll there
[10:49:01] <Masahiro Sakurai> EXCUUUUUUUUUSE ME!
[10:49:06] <Masahiro Sakurai> (laughs)
[10:49:20] <Masahiro Sakurai> True next gen console my ass!
[10:49:26] <Howard Stringer> (off mic) Where's that school? Philippines? Where's that? What's Bora Bora? Oh that Philippines!
[10:49:51] <Masahiro Sakurai> College of St. Benilde...hahahaha. Like there's anyone creative there.
[10:50:04] <Masahiro Sakurai> "DUUUUDE, I'LL MAKE A GAME....WITH BOOOBS"
[10:50:24] <Masahiro Sakurai> What a bunch of 'tards! Seriously. The Wii is the obvious, economical choice.
[10:50:26] <Masahiro Sakurai> (laughs)
[10:52:30] <Howard Stringer> (off mic) Ahem. You forgot to laugh.
[10:53:31] <Masahiro Sakurai> (off mic) Stupid gaijin, I'll laugh when I very well want to.
[10:53:40] <Masahiro Sakurai> (laughs)
[10:54:05] <Masahiro Sakurai> Heh.
[10:55:55] <Masahiro Sakurai> No, my sister did.
[10:55:59] <Masahiro Sakurai> And I despise her for it.
[10:56:11] <knuckles> LOL
[10:56:32] <Masahiro Sakurai> In fact, I'm waiting for her to grab a steak knife and commit harakiri for such a dishonorable pockmark on our honored family history!
[10:56:34] <Masahiro Sakurai> (laughs)
[10:56:57] <knuckles> i can lend her my tanto if she wants
[10:57:00] <knuckles> :D
[10:57:51] <Masahiro Sakurai> It was like...135K per year in that fucking moneysink of a school?
[11:02:01] <Howard Stringer> 135k per year? (off mic) Is that in dollars? Pesos? What's that?
[11:04:13] <knuckles> grabe
[11:04:17] <Masahiro Sakurai> (off mic) It's in pesetas, you ignorant gaijin.
[11:04:39] <Masahiro Sakurai> What's worse is that she failed Accounting, and switched to Finance.
[11:04:59] <knuckles> awgawd
[11:05:03] <Masahiro Sakurai> This is why I'm hoping Brawl would sell, so I will be able to pay off her absurd college debts.
[11:05:05] <Masahiro Sakurai> (laughs)
[11:05:11] <knuckles> let's not talk about commerce courses please
[11:06:49] *** Howard Stringer is now known as Words of Wisdom
[11:06:55] *Words of Wisdom says" When I was 14, I hoped that one day I would have a girlfriend.
When I was 16 I got a girlfriend, but there was no passion, so I decided I needed a passionate girl with a zest for life.
In college I dated a passionate girl, but she was too emotional. Everything was an emergency; she was a drama queen, cried all the time and threatened suicide. So I decided I needed a girl with stability.
When I was 25 I found a very stable girl but she was boring. She was totally predictable and never got excited about anything. Life became so dull that I decided that I needed a girl with some excitement.
When I was 28 I found an exciting girl, but I couldn't keep up with her. She rushed from one thing to another, never settling on anything. She did mad impetuous things and made me miserable as often as happy. She was great fun initially and very energetic, but directionless. So I decided to find a girl with some real ambition.
When I turned 31, I found a smart ambitious girl with her feet planted firmly on the ground and married her. She was so ambitious that she divorced me and took everything I owned.
I am now older and wiser and just looking for a girl with big tits and shaved ..."
[11:09:59] <Masahiro Sakurai> Shaved mustache?
[11:10:04] <Masahiro Sakurai> (laughs)
[11:10:27] <Masahiro Sakurai> Ah, but over in my country, body hair is a mark of maturity and sensuality.
[11:10:48] <Masahiro Sakurai> You americans only care about large mammaries and blonde hair. Barbarians.
[11:11:54] <Masahiro Sakurai> I hope that one day you realize your pitiful standards only confine you to fantasizing about Anna Nicole Smith. I will watch your civilization slowly destroy itself from my megatower built from the bones of young american children who bought Brawl and died due to its greatness.
[11:12:12] <Masahiro Sakurai> (laughs)
[11:22:38] <knuckles> LOL
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