My life has been a cliche lately, and by now I think I fit the stereotype of one living on the Internet. Earlier today, I registered to StumbleUpon and found this: The Lazy Bloggers Post Generator. I've found it quite useful, and here's a couple of examples:
OMFG! I just got slapped with a wet salmon - really - I have not updated this since Paris Hilton was in jail... You would not believe how insane my life has become. I hope you still love me!.
I am totally exhausted with waiting for a fine young gentleman to propose, learning to speak Japanese, just generally being asleep, dreaming and chancing to anyone unfortunate to cross my path, my day seems to be a litany of stuff and giggles from the second I am woken by murderous Teletubbies to I am begging my kid to go to sleep or so help me God that kid will be decorating my wall, 'Duct tape still life' (note: I do not have a kid, I just found it extremely funny). I am convinced that I absolutely deserve this after all my hard work. but this damned rock is heavy.
I absolutely, positively promise I will make more of an effort to blog more often until the nice men in the white coats come back. Go with God, good friends. Don't hold your breath though, you're likely to turn blue..
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Holy Blog Of Doom, Batman! I just had a terrible scare when I thought I have not updated this since Hammertime was in the charts... You would not believe how hard it is being waited on hand and foot and generally lounging around. Apologies to my regular readers! Even the little blue ones!.
I am hopped up on caffeine with only your readership as life preserver, hoping you haven't found other blogs, just generally being a pain to every man and his dog, my day is a nightmare I would like to wake up from the light through yonder window breaks to whenever. I am avoiding recapture. can't they see I am blogging.
I will try to remember I promised you I will update you with my nefarious activities as soon as I get a chance. Until I need your shoulder to cry on. Cats if you don't..
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Holy Snapping Duck Do! I just opened mine eyes, and lo! I have not updated this since long before Shakespeare wast a boy... You would not believe my anguish at my misdoings. Whenever will they invent electricity!.
I am lost in a sea of pseudo-olde-english with waiting for a fine young gentleman to propose, selling my soul to Google, just generally being of great concern to my psychologist, my day is full to overflowing from the first cockadoodledoo from the rooster to 11pm at which point I fall asleep on the couch. I am totally exhausted. perchance.
I declare solemnly to send a missive out on the wire, post-haste. Sincerest apologies. This is for my ever faithful, devoted public..
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Good Gravy! I just got a bajillion whiny emails saying I have not updated this since they let me out!... You would not believe it only hurts when I laugh. I'm a blogger so I will though!.
I am absolutely consumed with keeping up with my favourite daytime soaps, watching the grass grow, just generally being an embarrassment to society in general, my day seems to be packed from crawling out of bed at 6.30 to morning. I am beyond drunk most of the time. but who cares.
I swear on the bones of my ancestors I will try to remember my blog password more often in future. Honestly! Until my paycheck dawneth..
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.... .... .... I don't think I'll ever blog again. (Or if I do, why think up what to write? It can take 5 minutes with drop down menus.)
Saturday, November 8, 2008
Friday, November 7, 2008
on eternal recurrence and falling trees
Since I was otherwise preoccupied with grind-a-thon Disgaea yesterday (and today), I'm going to write about a couple of things today.
Obama won and while that is a triumph for smart people everywhere, the pessimist in me is bugging me about Nietzsche's eternal recurrence and Machiavelli's Il Prinsipe.)
(I heard from Gino that) Michael Crichton died. He offered a different kind of horror (different from Stephen King): Sphere, Congo, The Andromeda Strain, Jurassic Park, Lost World, and Eaters of the Dead, among others. Through his books, I learned about the Chaos Theory and the (fictional) Odd-man Hypothesis. Cheers to you, Mr. Crichton.
Imagine your brain is a circuit board and certain emotions cause certain circuits to light up and some to turn off. Scientists have discovered that love and hate turn on two of the same circuits in the brain (and turns off judgement and reasoning). That probably explains why both extreme love and hate can lead to unhealthy fixations on certain persons. The scientists did note that between the two polar opposite emotions, hate is far more rational. Hate only turns off reasoning and judgement a tad bit, while love in comparison looks as if it ignores them completely. University College London professor, Semir Zeki explains:
"This may seem surprising since hate can also be an all-consuming passion like love. But whereas in romantic love, the lover is often less critical and judgemental regarding the loved person, it is more likely that in the context of hate the hater may want to exercise judgement in calculating moves to harm, injure or otherwise exact revenge," Professor Zeki said.
"Interestingly, the activity of some of these structures in response to a hated face is proportional in strength to the declared intensity of hate, thus allowing the subjective state of hate to be objectively quantified. This finding may have implications in criminal cases."
Makes sense, you'd need reasoning and judgement to properly plot the loathed person's downfall (or fall down a cliff). Crazy and ironic. How do you know you're not in-hate when you're in-love? I have loads of other questions stemming from this, but I'll tackle them some other time.
(Via JessicarulestheUniverse and Independent.co.uk)
I have been told a good many times that writing as I have (and still am) will get me nowhere. Lately, I've been thinking about "If a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?" but in terms of "If I write an article and no one reads it, does anybody give a flying fart?" Yes, it's one of those philosophically sarcastic days again. Ah, mediocrity.
Obama won and while that is a triumph for smart people everywhere, the pessimist in me is bugging me about Nietzsche's eternal recurrence and Machiavelli's Il Prinsipe.)
---------------------------------
(I heard from Gino that) Michael Crichton died. He offered a different kind of horror (different from Stephen King): Sphere, Congo, The Andromeda Strain, Jurassic Park, Lost World, and Eaters of the Dead, among others. Through his books, I learned about the Chaos Theory and the (fictional) Odd-man Hypothesis. Cheers to you, Mr. Crichton.
---------------------------------
Imagine your brain is a circuit board and certain emotions cause certain circuits to light up and some to turn off. Scientists have discovered that love and hate turn on two of the same circuits in the brain (and turns off judgement and reasoning). That probably explains why both extreme love and hate can lead to unhealthy fixations on certain persons. The scientists did note that between the two polar opposite emotions, hate is far more rational. Hate only turns off reasoning and judgement a tad bit, while love in comparison looks as if it ignores them completely. University College London professor, Semir Zeki explains:
"This may seem surprising since hate can also be an all-consuming passion like love. But whereas in romantic love, the lover is often less critical and judgemental regarding the loved person, it is more likely that in the context of hate the hater may want to exercise judgement in calculating moves to harm, injure or otherwise exact revenge," Professor Zeki said.
"Interestingly, the activity of some of these structures in response to a hated face is proportional in strength to the declared intensity of hate, thus allowing the subjective state of hate to be objectively quantified. This finding may have implications in criminal cases."
Makes sense, you'd need reasoning and judgement to properly plot the loathed person's downfall (or fall down a cliff). Crazy and ironic. How do you know you're not in-hate when you're in-love? I have loads of other questions stemming from this, but I'll tackle them some other time.
(Via JessicarulestheUniverse and Independent.co.uk)
---------------------------------
I have been told a good many times that writing as I have (and still am) will get me nowhere. Lately, I've been thinking about "If a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?" but in terms of "If I write an article and no one reads it, does anybody give a flying fart?" Yes, it's one of those philosophically sarcastic days again. Ah, mediocrity.
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
I don't talk baby
Just as I promise to write something everyday, I come up with kaput. Then Inspiration comes along, knocks on my door, and promptly hands me a baby.I don't talk baby. I mean, how exactly do you communicate with a one month old kid? The said kid's verbal capacities are limited to cooing, gurgling, grunting, and occasionally, screaming bloody murder. He doesn't know how to make the proper sounds yet and I refuse to make embarrassing baby sounds. I continually struggle with coherence as it is, why would I want to make (borderline retard) cooing sounds?
But it's nice to talk to a baby.
Maron, my nephew, was here a few minutes ago with his parental units 1 and 2, along with my mom. I turned off the PC, left the bat cave (read: my room) and went downstairs where the baby was lying on the couch having a great conversation with the ceiling fan. Everybody evaporated to other parts of the house, leaving me with the wide eyed, plump, and wriggling baby.
I think it's the most apt use for the term "captive audience." He can't crawl yet, he can't tell me to put a sock in it, and he can't protest with me holding the milk bottle hostage. He stared at me and I stared back at him. I had no idea what to say. I, the High Banana of Pointless Anecdotes and Useless Information, was at loss. Rica suggested that I reveal my plans for world domination and other nefarious life lessons to the kid, in the hopes that he'll continue what I started lest I fail. Anyway.
It's nice talking to a baby. Maron has learned to reply with a grunt at the right moments, flailing his arms for emphasis. He laughs at some points too, and I guess he sees the irony the grown ups cannot.
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After our conversation, the other people in the house rematerialized and proceeded to harass the hapless baby. They had him wear sunglasses while he tried as best a baby could to wriggle and flail his arms out of it. And then they mercilessly took pictures. I thought it was hilarious until parental unit 1, otherwise known as Kuya, pointed out that the kid can retaliate when we're old and feeble.
Ha. I'll cross that bridge when I get there. (I suddenly feel nostalgic, much like Martin Sloan in that Twilight Zone episode, Walking Distance. "I was living in a dead run and I was tired." In case you haven't seen that or forgot, it's the episode where a tired old guy passes within walking distance of his home town, and finds himself in his past and grows envious of his young counterpart's carefree existence.)
Monday, November 3, 2008
When I think happy thoughts, I'll think of Seven Corners
I just got home, and so full to bursting I can hardly breathe. I'm crashing from all the sugar I consumed, and if I eat like that for the rest of my life, I'd probably grow in mass and get assigned my personal zip code. Of course, I exaggerate, but I'm really really full. It all started with this:
Chibichan: Ne, your birthday's next week! What are you going to do on your birthday?
Me (lets out an inward *Ugh*): Nothing. I'm broke, dude. (This what I answered every time someone asked me about my plans.) Well, I'll probably just stay home and have a movie marathon.
Chibichan: WHAT?! That's sacrilege. We must do something on your birthday!
Me: ... (I was miserable, and I would usually explode at that. Depressing explanation below.)
Chibichan: Aha! I know!
Me: Nani?
Chibichan: I know the perfect thing we can do! Free up your schedule for next weekend or next next weekend.
Me (thinks, "I do not have a schedule."): What?
Chibichan: It's a surprise, silly. You have a good sense of direction, right? Just say yes.
(At this point, I honestly thought she was going to take me hiking in mountainous boonies somewhere.)
Me: As long as I can wear jeans, yes.
[Depressing explanation: For some weird reason, I am always miserable on the days leading up and the day of my birthday. It's either I'm lonely or I'm broke. I'm talking the kind of broke that only bread winners and independent people living away from home know - no money for bills, food, or for anything else. It's a miserable feeling, and sometimes it gets so desperate that you seriously think that living with one kidney wouldn't be so bad. But if I had to choose between broke and the money arguments my parents once had - for October is an exam month - I'd choose broke.]
A few days later, I found out what the surprise was as Chibichan couldn't contain her excitement. We were going to have dinner at the Seven Corners Restaurant at the Crowne Plaza Hotel (Ortigas). I had no idea where that was, and I was quite worried about the jeans part but I went anyway.
Meeting place - SM Megamall. Let me say it again: I hate big malls.
Let's say SM Megamall is 300 meters (small estimate) from end to end. I walked from building A to building B, trying to make heads or tails of the place. That's 300 meters. Then I walked back from building B to A (to get to Powerbooks), another 300 meters. From Powerbooks, we had to walk to the middle of the mall where the cabs were, so that's 150 meters. (Chibichan walked from the building B to A and then to the middle. We had missed each other in the blasted mall.) So more or less, I walked one kilometer. How many calories do you think that was?
Anyway, we - determined to replace all the calories we spent walking - got a cab.
(Anyway, it's been a while since I saw Chibichan and let me just say her Taebo's paying off big time.)
We got to the hotel and after 2 milliseconds of feeling terribly underdressed, we hopped over a red cordon (or whatever that's called) and went in. And like a kid who had never seen lavish furnishings, high ceilings, and creepy hotel elevators, I shamelessly stared at everything in awe. And wow, the restaurant. It's surreal, really, especially for someone like me whose idea of dining out can be summarized in four things: fastfood, foodcourt, tapsihan, or Chuck's at Landmark.
The buffet spans nearly the entire length of the resto, with all the wonderful food lined up. The waiters were courteous (By courteous, I mean they pull out a seat for you and all that. I am a simpleton, I know.). The place had an overall comfy feeling - it's not garishly lit and it was quiet, as opposed to the canned music everywhere else.
Seven Corners' International buffet features Oriental, Japanese, Mediterranean, and Western food. Of course, we raided the Japanese part of the buffet first. For the first time ever, I tasted sushi. After numerous assurances from Chibichan that it's salmon and not tuna (something I am deathly allergic to), I clumsily held it with chopsticks and wolfed it down. Let me just say this: I didn't know raw fish tasted so good.
We also had prawns (a little bland, but I love prawns), wonderful shrimp salad (with olives, cucumber, and cherry tomatoes), shrimp sushi (Know the one in Cooking Mama? That one.), and a meat dish (I have no idea what it was. It looked like chopped pork with things thrown in but it was good nonetheless.). I skipped the lobster since I felt that I was pushing my luck with all the raw fish and shrimp. I mean, sure I can stand the itch, but I thought the crew would be alarmed if one of their diners suddenly resembled a giant red sore on legs. Also, several other goodies needed sampling.
We rested for a bit and found a nice kuya grilling steak. You just have to tell him how thick you wanted it, how many slices of steak you wanted, and how you wanted it. Since I was half full with the Jap food, I got a normal sized one (around half the plate) well done. The cheerful kuya cook laughed when I said, "Very very well done." I laughed too, and explained to Chibichan, "I once had a well done rare steak."
While waiting for our steaks, we got mashed potatoes, gravy, baked mussels (oh my good god, mozzarella), and lamb. Neither of us had lamb before, and after one bite, we agreed on what it tasted like: Curry. Somebody seemed to have gone crazy with the curry powder in the kitchen. That aside, the steak was heavenly. I love steak, and if I had an oven like Ayee's, I'd probably cook steak often. Chibichan pointed at my steak with her knife, "Hey, it still has a rare part. Next time, just tell them to 'burn it.'"
Full to bursting, we sipped our butterfly iced teas (with lemons and cherries on top) and talked for a long time. Somebody was having a function at the semi-enclosed space at the other side of the restaurant and the waiters sang Happy Birthday. Chibichan turns to me and says, "Want me to get them to sing for you, too?" I vehemently said no - I'd probably die of embarrassment.
We were too full to raid the other parts of the buffet and so went for dessert. Dessert! Oh the wonderful dessert. When I saw the chocolate fountain, I thought that it was the happiest birthday in my life. Chibichan was just beside herself. There were just too many yummy looking things to try out. I grabbed a stick with fruit and bathed it in the fountain, nabbed three scoops of ice cream (heavenly pistachio, cookies and cream, and mocha), and snatched a chocolate rum cake and a couple of melons and grapes from the fruit stack. Chibichan grabbed sugar on a stick (It was supposed to be meringue, but she can't spot the egg white taste.), chocolate creme brulee, pandan ricotta, flan, chocolate mousse, some fruit and a scoop of pistachio ice cream.
Oh joy. I don't think I can describe the experience effectively with adjectives, but really, those little desserts were little packages of happiness. I don't know if it was the sugar (I took one taste from the little flan and shivered. As in shivered. That little dynamo must have been made with a vat of syrup and a sack of sugar.), the chocolate (Premium dark chocolate was flowing from that heavenly fountain.), or all of the other wonderful things we ate, but by the end of it all, we were both giddy.
Domo arigato, Chibichan, for that wonderful wonderful semi-suprise birthday dinner. You did it, you definitely, definitely cheered me up. I'm in such a stupor that I repeat my adverbs and adjectives, but, really, thanks, for making this birthday not as miserable as the others. And for sitting across the table and taking my mind off stuff. And for being a sugoi tomodachi.
We are going to go back there, we definitely will.
Chibichan: Ne, your birthday's next week! What are you going to do on your birthday?
Me (lets out an inward *Ugh*): Nothing. I'm broke, dude. (This what I answered every time someone asked me about my plans.) Well, I'll probably just stay home and have a movie marathon.
Chibichan: WHAT?! That's sacrilege. We must do something on your birthday!
Me: ... (I was miserable, and I would usually explode at that. Depressing explanation below.)
Chibichan: Aha! I know!
Me: Nani?
Chibichan: I know the perfect thing we can do! Free up your schedule for next weekend or next next weekend.
Me (thinks, "I do not have a schedule."): What?
Chibichan: It's a surprise, silly. You have a good sense of direction, right? Just say yes.
(At this point, I honestly thought she was going to take me hiking in mountainous boonies somewhere.)
Me: As long as I can wear jeans, yes.
[Depressing explanation: For some weird reason, I am always miserable on the days leading up and the day of my birthday. It's either I'm lonely or I'm broke. I'm talking the kind of broke that only bread winners and independent people living away from home know - no money for bills, food, or for anything else. It's a miserable feeling, and sometimes it gets so desperate that you seriously think that living with one kidney wouldn't be so bad. But if I had to choose between broke and the money arguments my parents once had - for October is an exam month - I'd choose broke.]
A few days later, I found out what the surprise was as Chibichan couldn't contain her excitement. We were going to have dinner at the Seven Corners Restaurant at the Crowne Plaza Hotel (Ortigas). I had no idea where that was, and I was quite worried about the jeans part but I went anyway.
Meeting place - SM Megamall. Let me say it again: I hate big malls.
Let's say SM Megamall is 300 meters (small estimate) from end to end. I walked from building A to building B, trying to make heads or tails of the place. That's 300 meters. Then I walked back from building B to A (to get to Powerbooks), another 300 meters. From Powerbooks, we had to walk to the middle of the mall where the cabs were, so that's 150 meters. (Chibichan walked from the building B to A and then to the middle. We had missed each other in the blasted mall.) So more or less, I walked one kilometer. How many calories do you think that was?
Anyway, we - determined to replace all the calories we spent walking - got a cab.
(Anyway, it's been a while since I saw Chibichan and let me just say her Taebo's paying off big time.)
We got to the hotel and after 2 milliseconds of feeling terribly underdressed, we hopped over a red cordon (or whatever that's called) and went in. And like a kid who had never seen lavish furnishings, high ceilings, and creepy hotel elevators, I shamelessly stared at everything in awe. And wow, the restaurant. It's surreal, really, especially for someone like me whose idea of dining out can be summarized in four things: fastfood, foodcourt, tapsihan, or Chuck's at Landmark.
The buffet spans nearly the entire length of the resto, with all the wonderful food lined up. The waiters were courteous (By courteous, I mean they pull out a seat for you and all that. I am a simpleton, I know.). The place had an overall comfy feeling - it's not garishly lit and it was quiet, as opposed to the canned music everywhere else.
Seven Corners' International buffet features Oriental, Japanese, Mediterranean, and Western food. Of course, we raided the Japanese part of the buffet first. For the first time ever, I tasted sushi. After numerous assurances from Chibichan that it's salmon and not tuna (something I am deathly allergic to), I clumsily held it with chopsticks and wolfed it down. Let me just say this: I didn't know raw fish tasted so good.
We also had prawns (a little bland, but I love prawns), wonderful shrimp salad (with olives, cucumber, and cherry tomatoes), shrimp sushi (Know the one in Cooking Mama? That one.), and a meat dish (I have no idea what it was. It looked like chopped pork with things thrown in but it was good nonetheless.). I skipped the lobster since I felt that I was pushing my luck with all the raw fish and shrimp. I mean, sure I can stand the itch, but I thought the crew would be alarmed if one of their diners suddenly resembled a giant red sore on legs. Also, several other goodies needed sampling.
We rested for a bit and found a nice kuya grilling steak. You just have to tell him how thick you wanted it, how many slices of steak you wanted, and how you wanted it. Since I was half full with the Jap food, I got a normal sized one (around half the plate) well done. The cheerful kuya cook laughed when I said, "Very very well done." I laughed too, and explained to Chibichan, "I once had a well done rare steak."
While waiting for our steaks, we got mashed potatoes, gravy, baked mussels (oh my good god, mozzarella), and lamb. Neither of us had lamb before, and after one bite, we agreed on what it tasted like: Curry. Somebody seemed to have gone crazy with the curry powder in the kitchen. That aside, the steak was heavenly. I love steak, and if I had an oven like Ayee's, I'd probably cook steak often. Chibichan pointed at my steak with her knife, "Hey, it still has a rare part. Next time, just tell them to 'burn it.'"
Full to bursting, we sipped our butterfly iced teas (with lemons and cherries on top) and talked for a long time. Somebody was having a function at the semi-enclosed space at the other side of the restaurant and the waiters sang Happy Birthday. Chibichan turns to me and says, "Want me to get them to sing for you, too?" I vehemently said no - I'd probably die of embarrassment.
We were too full to raid the other parts of the buffet and so went for dessert. Dessert! Oh the wonderful dessert. When I saw the chocolate fountain, I thought that it was the happiest birthday in my life. Chibichan was just beside herself. There were just too many yummy looking things to try out. I grabbed a stick with fruit and bathed it in the fountain, nabbed three scoops of ice cream (heavenly pistachio, cookies and cream, and mocha), and snatched a chocolate rum cake and a couple of melons and grapes from the fruit stack. Chibichan grabbed sugar on a stick (It was supposed to be meringue, but she can't spot the egg white taste.), chocolate creme brulee, pandan ricotta, flan, chocolate mousse, some fruit and a scoop of pistachio ice cream.
Oh joy. I don't think I can describe the experience effectively with adjectives, but really, those little desserts were little packages of happiness. I don't know if it was the sugar (I took one taste from the little flan and shivered. As in shivered. That little dynamo must have been made with a vat of syrup and a sack of sugar.), the chocolate (Premium dark chocolate was flowing from that heavenly fountain.), or all of the other wonderful things we ate, but by the end of it all, we were both giddy.
Domo arigato, Chibichan, for that wonderful wonderful semi-suprise birthday dinner. You did it, you definitely, definitely cheered me up. I'm in such a stupor that I repeat my adverbs and adjectives, but, really, thanks, for making this birthday not as miserable as the others. And for sitting across the table and taking my mind off stuff. And for being a sugoi tomodachi.
We are going to go back there, we definitely will.
Saturday, November 1, 2008
The Demented Hit List: Most Memorable Horror Movie Villains
What's a good horror flick without a good villain? As we all know, the said villain should be properly menacing, horrifying, and ruthless to be able to scare us shitless. It really doesn't matter whether the villain is a person (be it a grown up or a kid), an inanimate object, a vengeful entity or a natural thing. It's not really surprising - people fear one thing or another.
Way, waaay back, the classic monsters reigned over the horror genre: The Phantom of the Opera, Dracula, Frankenstein, Mr. Hyde, Werewolves, Mummies, Zombies, and monsters from the Blue Lagoon and God-knows-where-else, among other things. Relatives of Frankenstein (Bride of Frankenstein, Son of Frankenstein, Frankenstein's Daughter) and Dracula (Dracula's Daughter, Brides of Dracula) also made their presence known, maybe just to show that being a reanimated corpse and/or being undead doesn't mean one should be caught without a social life.
Over the years, I've seen a lot of scary movie villains and so I made a list of the most memorable horror flick villains (for me, at least). I stress "memorable," since some of them aren't really scary and border on campy, hilarious, and/or absurd.
The 10 Most Iconic
Freddie Krueger - If his mug doesn't scare you, his deadly nightmares will.
Michael Myers - The guy wears a William Shatner Halloween mask. Scary.
Jason Voorhees - Hockey mask, machete, and indestructible.
Ghostface (Scream) - Stock up on horror movie trivia.
Leatherface (Texas Chainsaw Massacre) - Chainsaw and crazy family.
Chucky - Murderous doll.
Jigsaw (Saw) - Crazy and bloody contraptions.
Hannibal Lecter - Dinner, anyone?
Pinhead - Constantly plagued by migraines.
Sadako - Climbs out of the TV.
Unseen Things
The Witch in the Blair Witch Project - Running around lost in a forest at night is not something you'd want on your summer vacation itinerary as it is most certainly not fun. Especially when you think you're being chased by somebody - or something.
The ghosts in Poltergeist - You do not want to hear a kid say, "They're here." Prepare for flying objects, bending forks, and other strange occurrences.
Death in the Final Destination series - We don't actually see a hooded guy with a giant scythe, Death comes in the form of many otherwise innocent things: a trickle of water there, a plugged electric appliance here, and a conveniently placed bath tub over there.
Things from Outer Space or an Undiscovered Species of Something
The Blob - It's a moving pile of gooey sludge. That's eeew factor number one. Eeew factor number two goes to its nasty habit of consuming carbon-based objects, humans included. Note: The pile of hungry goo or something like it can also be found in a short story called Slime (Joseph Payne Brennan), a novel and movie called Phantoms (Dean Koontz), and a movie called The Thing (John Carpenter).
Graboids from Tremors - Just when you thought it ends with the ginormous underground worm, it goes and spawns Shriekers and Ass-Blasters (I am not kidding, that's what they called the gliding versions of the things).
The Alien in the Alien flicks - Acid spit. Acid blood. Barbed tail. Secondary mouth. Facehuggers. Thank god for Ellen Ripley.
Kothoga in The Relic - The Relic is often called "Alien in a Museum" and for good reason. And nope, there isn't an eerie resemblance between the movie monsters.
Inanimate Objects and other Otherwise (outwardly) Innocent Things
The Mist - The Mist is not to be mistaken with The Fog - though they're both weather conditions, the former is good while the latter is just, blah (just goes to show that even Superman can't breathe life into a baaad movie). Anyway, what exactly lurks in the mist? You must watch the 2007 film. Watch it, or at least read Stephen King's novella of the same title.
Billie the doll in the Saw series - It's creepy, even creepier when seen riding a tricycle.
The House in The Amityville Horror - 112 Ocean Avenue. In case you're rusty in horror-speak, it's a haunted house and it still exists. Site of the DeFeo murders. Note: While we're on the subject of evil places, I should probably throw in the evil hotel room in 1408 too.
Puppets in Puppet Master - Damn. (It's another one of those movies I watched as a kid.)
The Overlook Hotel in The Shining - It's not only haunted, it's also THE malevolent entity (like the Amityville Horror, Event Horizon, and 1408) in the Stephen King classic.
Event Horizon - Okay, it's from a sci-fi flick, but you've got to admit, the Event Horizon was pretty evil.
The mirrors in the recent movie Mirrors - There are dozens of horror stories about mirrors (Bloody Mary, Candyman, person appearing behind you but isn't there when you look over your shoulder) and heck, a room full of mirrors is just plain scary.
Scary Kids (In movies, and most horror video games, there is nothing scarier than a creepy looking kid.)
Toshio (the kid) in The Grudge - Him, together with the weird scuffling and croaking sounds, are guaranteed to make the hairs you didn't know you had stand up on end.
Alessa Gillespie in Silent Hill - She has achieved infamy both in the survival horror video games and the film adaptation.
Damien Thorn in The Omen - He's the antichrist, so he's got to look and act the part, right?
Regan MacNeil in The Exorcist - Projectile vomiting, spider walk down the stairs, and impossible head twists. Enough said.
The Children of the Corn - Who would've thought that a strange cult full of half pints can wipe off all the adults in their town?
(You can add the kid from the Korean movie Acacia - if you consider Acacia a horror movie and not a documentary about the blasted tree.)
Unkillable, Demented, and Downright Scary (or Downright Absurd)
The Shark in Jaws - Come on, tell me you didn't shout "Get out of the damn water!" or "Swim faster, you idiot!" at the TV when the fin popped out of the surface and the accompanying "dun-dun-dun-dun" background music came on. Note: This entry is probably also applicable to the giant croc in Lake Placid and the Anaconda in that movie with JLo and Ice Cube.
The zombies in 28 Days Later and the remade Dawn of the Dead - Which is scarier - running for dear life with zombies right at your heels or running for dear life while zombies shuffle behind you?
Elite Hunting in Hostel movies - They kidnap people and auction them off to be tortured and killed. I'm not sure about you, but they certainly give the traveler in me the heebie jeebies.
Natre in Shutter - Severe neck pain has never been explained in a more horrifying manner. Well, maybe beside finding a knife sticking out of your neck.
The Wishmaster - This forever smashed my vision of all the genies I ever loved (Jeannie in I Dream of Jeannie and Aladdin's Genie).
The Candyman - Say his name in front of a mirror 5 times and watch buckets of blood spill, specifically, yours.
Pumpkinhead - I vaguely remember this movie (I watched it waaay way back) and while the movie itself is bad, the movie monster Pumpkinhead lurks in my subconscious.
Leprechaun - Probably the most evil little green man ever (or at least he was back when I was nine). Can be distracted by throwing dirty shoes as he is compelled to shine them.
It - It's a clown.
The Killer in Urban Legend - I remember her due to the very very creepy message scrawled in blood: Aren't you glad you didn't turn on the light?
Jack Torrance in The Shining - Cabin fever + writer's block + alcohol = Jack is not a happy writer.
Infected in I Am Legend - They killed the dog. I don't care if they kill Will Smith, they killed the dog. Fine, Will Smith strangled the dog after it becomes infected, but that's beside the point, right?
Demon Knight in Tales from the Crypt - Billy Zane as a very cunning, and very evil demon. Buckets of blood everywhere. (Yes, it's another one of those movies I saw as a kid.)
The Fisherman from I Know (I Still Know, I'll Always Know, I'll Forever and Ever Know... wait) What You Did Last Summer - He evolved from a cranky victim of a hit and run to a supernatural vengeance machine out to get those who keep a death secret.
The Creature in Mimic - Over the course of the series (the other two Mimic movies were direct to video), the Judas Breed evolved from a cross between a mantis and a termite into a giant 6-foot cockroach able to mimic humans. You can't squash it as it is probably bigger than you are, and the tactic of flinging a tsinelas (slippers) against it is probably as ineffectual. How exactly do you kill it? Wrestle it into a vat of Baygon? Hmm...
Way, waaay back, the classic monsters reigned over the horror genre: The Phantom of the Opera, Dracula, Frankenstein, Mr. Hyde, Werewolves, Mummies, Zombies, and monsters from the Blue Lagoon and God-knows-where-else, among other things. Relatives of Frankenstein (Bride of Frankenstein, Son of Frankenstein, Frankenstein's Daughter) and Dracula (Dracula's Daughter, Brides of Dracula) also made their presence known, maybe just to show that being a reanimated corpse and/or being undead doesn't mean one should be caught without a social life.
Over the years, I've seen a lot of scary movie villains and so I made a list of the most memorable horror flick villains (for me, at least). I stress "memorable," since some of them aren't really scary and border on campy, hilarious, and/or absurd.
The 10 Most Iconic
Freddie Krueger - If his mug doesn't scare you, his deadly nightmares will.
Michael Myers - The guy wears a William Shatner Halloween mask. Scary.
Jason Voorhees - Hockey mask, machete, and indestructible.
Ghostface (Scream) - Stock up on horror movie trivia.
Leatherface (Texas Chainsaw Massacre) - Chainsaw and crazy family.
Chucky - Murderous doll.
Jigsaw (Saw) - Crazy and bloody contraptions.
Hannibal Lecter - Dinner, anyone?
Pinhead - Constantly plagued by migraines.
Sadako - Climbs out of the TV.
Unseen Things
The Witch in the Blair Witch Project - Running around lost in a forest at night is not something you'd want on your summer vacation itinerary as it is most certainly not fun. Especially when you think you're being chased by somebody - or something.
The ghosts in Poltergeist - You do not want to hear a kid say, "They're here." Prepare for flying objects, bending forks, and other strange occurrences.
Death in the Final Destination series - We don't actually see a hooded guy with a giant scythe, Death comes in the form of many otherwise innocent things: a trickle of water there, a plugged electric appliance here, and a conveniently placed bath tub over there.
Things from Outer Space or an Undiscovered Species of Something
The Blob - It's a moving pile of gooey sludge. That's eeew factor number one. Eeew factor number two goes to its nasty habit of consuming carbon-based objects, humans included. Note: The pile of hungry goo or something like it can also be found in a short story called Slime (Joseph Payne Brennan), a novel and movie called Phantoms (Dean Koontz), and a movie called The Thing (John Carpenter).
Graboids from Tremors - Just when you thought it ends with the ginormous underground worm, it goes and spawns Shriekers and Ass-Blasters (I am not kidding, that's what they called the gliding versions of the things).
The Alien in the Alien flicks - Acid spit. Acid blood. Barbed tail. Secondary mouth. Facehuggers. Thank god for Ellen Ripley.
Kothoga in The Relic - The Relic is often called "Alien in a Museum" and for good reason. And nope, there isn't an eerie resemblance between the movie monsters.
Inanimate Objects and other Otherwise (outwardly) Innocent Things
The Mist - The Mist is not to be mistaken with The Fog - though they're both weather conditions, the former is good while the latter is just, blah (just goes to show that even Superman can't breathe life into a baaad movie). Anyway, what exactly lurks in the mist? You must watch the 2007 film. Watch it, or at least read Stephen King's novella of the same title.
Billie the doll in the Saw series - It's creepy, even creepier when seen riding a tricycle.
The House in The Amityville Horror - 112 Ocean Avenue. In case you're rusty in horror-speak, it's a haunted house and it still exists. Site of the DeFeo murders. Note: While we're on the subject of evil places, I should probably throw in the evil hotel room in 1408 too.
Puppets in Puppet Master - Damn. (It's another one of those movies I watched as a kid.)
The Overlook Hotel in The Shining - It's not only haunted, it's also THE malevolent entity (like the Amityville Horror, Event Horizon, and 1408) in the Stephen King classic.
Event Horizon - Okay, it's from a sci-fi flick, but you've got to admit, the Event Horizon was pretty evil.
The mirrors in the recent movie Mirrors - There are dozens of horror stories about mirrors (Bloody Mary, Candyman, person appearing behind you but isn't there when you look over your shoulder) and heck, a room full of mirrors is just plain scary.
Scary Kids (In movies, and most horror video games, there is nothing scarier than a creepy looking kid.)
Toshio (the kid) in The Grudge - Him, together with the weird scuffling and croaking sounds, are guaranteed to make the hairs you didn't know you had stand up on end.
Alessa Gillespie in Silent Hill - She has achieved infamy both in the survival horror video games and the film adaptation.
Damien Thorn in The Omen - He's the antichrist, so he's got to look and act the part, right?
Regan MacNeil in The Exorcist - Projectile vomiting, spider walk down the stairs, and impossible head twists. Enough said.
The Children of the Corn - Who would've thought that a strange cult full of half pints can wipe off all the adults in their town?
(You can add the kid from the Korean movie Acacia - if you consider Acacia a horror movie and not a documentary about the blasted tree.)
Unkillable, Demented, and Downright Scary (or Downright Absurd)
The Shark in Jaws - Come on, tell me you didn't shout "Get out of the damn water!" or "Swim faster, you idiot!" at the TV when the fin popped out of the surface and the accompanying "dun-dun-dun-dun" background music came on. Note: This entry is probably also applicable to the giant croc in Lake Placid and the Anaconda in that movie with JLo and Ice Cube.
The zombies in 28 Days Later and the remade Dawn of the Dead - Which is scarier - running for dear life with zombies right at your heels or running for dear life while zombies shuffle behind you?
Elite Hunting in Hostel movies - They kidnap people and auction them off to be tortured and killed. I'm not sure about you, but they certainly give the traveler in me the heebie jeebies.
Natre in Shutter - Severe neck pain has never been explained in a more horrifying manner. Well, maybe beside finding a knife sticking out of your neck.
The Wishmaster - This forever smashed my vision of all the genies I ever loved (Jeannie in I Dream of Jeannie and Aladdin's Genie).
The Candyman - Say his name in front of a mirror 5 times and watch buckets of blood spill, specifically, yours.
Pumpkinhead - I vaguely remember this movie (I watched it waaay way back) and while the movie itself is bad, the movie monster Pumpkinhead lurks in my subconscious.
Leprechaun - Probably the most evil little green man ever (or at least he was back when I was nine). Can be distracted by throwing dirty shoes as he is compelled to shine them.
It - It's a clown.
The Killer in Urban Legend - I remember her due to the very very creepy message scrawled in blood: Aren't you glad you didn't turn on the light?
Jack Torrance in The Shining - Cabin fever + writer's block + alcohol = Jack is not a happy writer.
Infected in I Am Legend - They killed the dog. I don't care if they kill Will Smith, they killed the dog. Fine, Will Smith strangled the dog after it becomes infected, but that's beside the point, right?
Demon Knight in Tales from the Crypt - Billy Zane as a very cunning, and very evil demon. Buckets of blood everywhere. (Yes, it's another one of those movies I saw as a kid.)
The Fisherman from I Know (I Still Know, I'll Always Know, I'll Forever and Ever Know... wait) What You Did Last Summer - He evolved from a cranky victim of a hit and run to a supernatural vengeance machine out to get those who keep a death secret.
The Creature in Mimic - Over the course of the series (the other two Mimic movies were direct to video), the Judas Breed evolved from a cross between a mantis and a termite into a giant 6-foot cockroach able to mimic humans. You can't squash it as it is probably bigger than you are, and the tactic of flinging a tsinelas (slippers) against it is probably as ineffectual. How exactly do you kill it? Wrestle it into a vat of Baygon? Hmm...
Friday, October 31, 2008
The Demented Hit List: Most Memorable Horror Movie Villains
What's a good horror flick without a good villain? As we all know, the said villain should be properly menacing, horrifying, and ruthless to be able to scare us shitless. It really doesn't matter whether the villain is a person (be it a grown up or a kid), an inanimate object, a vengeful entity or a natural thing. It's not really surprising - people fear one thing or another.
Way, waaay back, the classic monsters reigned over the horror genre: The Phantom of the Opera, Dracula, Frankenstein, Mr. Hyde, Werewolves, Mummies, Zombies, and monsters from the Blue Lagoon and God-knows-where-else, among other things. Relatives of Frankenstein (Bride of Frankenstein, Son of Frankenstein, Frankenstein's Daughter) and Dracula (Dracula's Daughter, Brides of Dracula) also made their presence known, maybe just to show that being a reanimated corpse and/or being undead doesn't mean one should be caught without a social life.
Over the years, I've seen a lot of scary movie villains and so I made a list of the most memorable horror flick villains (for me, at least). I stress "memorable," since some of them aren't really scary and border on campy, hilarious, and/or absurd.
The 10 Most Iconic
Freddie Krueger - If his mug doesn't scare you, his deadly nightmares will.
Michael Myers - The guy wears a William Shatner Halloween mask. Scary.
Jason Voorhees - Hockey mask, machete, and indestructible.
Ghostface (Scream) - Stock up on horror movie trivia.
Leatherface (Texas Chainsaw Massacre) - Chainsaw and crazy family.
Chucky - Murderous doll.
Jigsaw (Saw) - Crazy and bloody contraptions.
Hannibal Lecter - Dinner, anyone?
Pinhead - Constantly plagued by migraines.
Sadako - Climbs out of the TV.
Unseen Things
The Witch in the Blair Witch Project - Running around lost in a forest at night is not something you'd want on your summer vacation itinerary as it is most certainly not fun. Especially when you think you're being chased by somebody - or something.
The ghosts in Poltergeist - You do not want to hear a kid say, "They're here." Prepare for flying objects, bending forks, and other strange occurrences.
Death in the Final Destination series - We don't actually see a hooded guy with a giant scythe, Death comes in the form of many otherwise innocent things: a trickle of water there, a plugged electric appliance here, and a conveniently placed bath tub over there.
Things from Outer Space or an Undiscovered Species of Something
The Blob - It's a moving pile of gooey sludge. That's eeew factor number one. Eeew factor number two goes to its nasty habit of consuming carbon-based objects, humans included. Note: The pile of hungry goo or something like it can also be found in a short story called Slime (Joseph Payne Brennan), a novel and movie called Phantoms (Dean Koontz), and a movie called The Thing (John Carpenter).
Graboids from Tremors - Just when you thought it ends with the ginormous underground worm, it goes and spawns Shriekers and Ass-Blasters (I am not kidding, that's what they called the gliding versions of the things).
The Alien in the Alien flicks - Acid spit. Acid blood. Barbed tail. Secondary mouth. Facehuggers. Thank god for Ellen Ripley.
Kothoga in The Relic - The Relic is often called "Alien in a Museum" and for good reason. And nope, there isn't an eerie resemblance between the movie monsters.
Inanimate Objects and other Otherwise (outwardly) Innocent Things
The Mist - The Mist is not to be mistaken with The Fog - though they're both weather conditions, the former is good while the latter is just, blah (just goes to show that even Superman can't breathe life into a baaad movie). Anyway, what exactly lurks in the mist? You must watch the 2007 film. Watch it, or at least read Stephen King's novella of the same title.
Billie the doll in the Saw series - It's creepy, even creepier when seen riding a tricycle.
The House in The Amityville Horror - 112 Ocean Avenue. In case you're rusty in horror-speak, it's a haunted house and it still exists. Site of the DeFeo murders. Note: While we're on the subject of evil places, I should probably throw in the evil hotel room in 1408 too.
Puppets in Puppet Master - Damn. (It's another one of those movies I watched as a kid.)
The Overlook Hotel in The Shining - It's not only haunted, it's also THE malevolent entity (like the Amityville Horror, Event Horizon, and 1408) in the Stephen King classic.
Event Horizon - Okay, it's from a sci-fi flick, but you've got to admit, the Event Horizon was pretty evil.
The mirrors in the recent movie Mirrors - There are dozens of horror stories about mirrors (Bloody Mary, Candyman, person appearing behind you but isn't there when you look over your shoulder) and heck, a room full of mirrors is just plain scary.
Scary Kids (In movies, and most horror video games, there is nothing scarier than a creepy looking kid.)
Toshio (the kid) in The Grudge - Him, together with the weird scuffling and croaking sounds, are guaranteed to make the hairs you didn't know you had stand up on end.
Alessa Gillespie in Silent Hill - She has achieved infamy both in the survival horror video games and the film adaptation.
Damien Thorn in The Omen - He's the antichrist, so he's got to look and act the part, right?
Regan MacNeil in The Exorcist - Projectile vomiting, spider walk down the stairs, and impossible head twists. Enough said.
The Children of the Corn - Who would've thought that a strange cult full of half pints can wipe off all the adults in their town?
(You can add the kid from the Korean movie Acacia - if you consider Acacia a horror movie and not a documentary about the blasted tree.)
Unkillable, Demented, and Downright Scary (or Downright Absurd)
The Shark in Jaws - Come on, tell me you didn't shout "Get out of the damn water!" or "Swim faster, you idiot!" at the TV when the fin popped out of the surface and the accompanying "dun-dun-dun-dun" background music came on. Note: This entry is probably also applicable to the giant croc in Lake Placid and the Anaconda in that movie with JLo and Ice Cube.
The zombies in 28 Days Later and the remade Dawn of the Dead - Which is scarier - running for dear life with zombies right at your heels or running for dear life while zombies shuffle behind you?
Elite Hunting in Hostel movies - They kidnap people and auction them off to be tortured and killed. I'm not sure about you, but they certainly give the traveler in me the heebie jeebies.
Natre in Shutter - Severe neck pain has never been explained in a more horrifying manner. Well, maybe beside finding a knife sticking out of your neck.
The Wishmaster - This forever smashed my vision of all the genies I ever loved (Jeannie in I Dream of Jeannie and Aladdin's Genie).
The Candyman - Say his name in front of a mirror 5 times and watch buckets of blood spill, specifically, yours.
Pumpkinhead - I vaguely remember this movie (I watched it waaay way back) and while the movie itself is bad, the movie monster Pumpkinhead lurks in my subconscious.
Leprechaun - Probably the most evil little green man ever (or at least he was back when I was nine). Can be distracted by throwing dirty shoes as he is compelled to shine them.
It - It's a clown.
The Killer in Urban Legend - I remember her due to the very very creepy message scrawled in blood: Aren't you glad you didn't turn on the light?
Jack Torrance in The Shining - Cabin fever + writer's block + alcohol = Jack is not a happy writer.
Infected in I Am Legend - They killed the dog. I don't care if they kill Will Smith, they killed the dog. Fine, Will Smith strangled the dog after it becomes infected, but that's beside the point, right?
Demon Knight in Tales from the Crypt - Billy Zane as a very cunning, and very evil demon. Buckets of blood everywhere. (Yes, it's another one of those movies I saw as a kid.)
The Fisherman from I Know (I Still Know, I'll Always Know, I'll Forever and Ever Know... wait) What You Did Last Summer - He evolved from a cranky victim of a hit and run to a supernatural vengeance machine out to get those who keep a death secret.
The Creature in Mimic - Over the course of the series (the other two Mimic movies were direct to video), the Judas Breed evolved from a cross between a mantis and a termite into a giant 6-foot cockroach able to mimic humans. You can't squash it as it is probably bigger than you are, and the tactic of flinging a tsinelas (slippers) against it is probably as ineffectual. How exactly do you kill it? Wrestle it into a vat of Baygon? Hmm...
Way, waaay back, the classic monsters reigned over the horror genre: The Phantom of the Opera, Dracula, Frankenstein, Mr. Hyde, Werewolves, Mummies, Zombies, and monsters from the Blue Lagoon and God-knows-where-else, among other things. Relatives of Frankenstein (Bride of Frankenstein, Son of Frankenstein, Frankenstein's Daughter) and Dracula (Dracula's Daughter, Brides of Dracula) also made their presence known, maybe just to show that being a reanimated corpse and/or being undead doesn't mean one should be caught without a social life.
Over the years, I've seen a lot of scary movie villains and so I made a list of the most memorable horror flick villains (for me, at least). I stress "memorable," since some of them aren't really scary and border on campy, hilarious, and/or absurd.
The 10 Most Iconic
Freddie Krueger - If his mug doesn't scare you, his deadly nightmares will.
Michael Myers - The guy wears a William Shatner Halloween mask. Scary.
Jason Voorhees - Hockey mask, machete, and indestructible.
Ghostface (Scream) - Stock up on horror movie trivia.
Leatherface (Texas Chainsaw Massacre) - Chainsaw and crazy family.
Chucky - Murderous doll.
Jigsaw (Saw) - Crazy and bloody contraptions.
Hannibal Lecter - Dinner, anyone?
Pinhead - Constantly plagued by migraines.
Sadako - Climbs out of the TV.
Unseen Things
The Witch in the Blair Witch Project - Running around lost in a forest at night is not something you'd want on your summer vacation itinerary as it is most certainly not fun. Especially when you think you're being chased by somebody - or something.
The ghosts in Poltergeist - You do not want to hear a kid say, "They're here." Prepare for flying objects, bending forks, and other strange occurrences.
Death in the Final Destination series - We don't actually see a hooded guy with a giant scythe, Death comes in the form of many otherwise innocent things: a trickle of water there, a plugged electric appliance here, and a conveniently placed bath tub over there.
Things from Outer Space or an Undiscovered Species of Something
The Blob - It's a moving pile of gooey sludge. That's eeew factor number one. Eeew factor number two goes to its nasty habit of consuming carbon-based objects, humans included. Note: The pile of hungry goo or something like it can also be found in a short story called Slime (Joseph Payne Brennan), a novel and movie called Phantoms (Dean Koontz), and a movie called The Thing (John Carpenter).
Graboids from Tremors - Just when you thought it ends with the ginormous underground worm, it goes and spawns Shriekers and Ass-Blasters (I am not kidding, that's what they called the gliding versions of the things).
The Alien in the Alien flicks - Acid spit. Acid blood. Barbed tail. Secondary mouth. Facehuggers. Thank god for Ellen Ripley.
Kothoga in The Relic - The Relic is often called "Alien in a Museum" and for good reason. And nope, there isn't an eerie resemblance between the movie monsters.
Inanimate Objects and other Otherwise (outwardly) Innocent Things
The Mist - The Mist is not to be mistaken with The Fog - though they're both weather conditions, the former is good while the latter is just, blah (just goes to show that even Superman can't breathe life into a baaad movie). Anyway, what exactly lurks in the mist? You must watch the 2007 film. Watch it, or at least read Stephen King's novella of the same title.
Billie the doll in the Saw series - It's creepy, even creepier when seen riding a tricycle.
The House in The Amityville Horror - 112 Ocean Avenue. In case you're rusty in horror-speak, it's a haunted house and it still exists. Site of the DeFeo murders. Note: While we're on the subject of evil places, I should probably throw in the evil hotel room in 1408 too.
Puppets in Puppet Master - Damn. (It's another one of those movies I watched as a kid.)
The Overlook Hotel in The Shining - It's not only haunted, it's also THE malevolent entity (like the Amityville Horror, Event Horizon, and 1408) in the Stephen King classic.
Event Horizon - Okay, it's from a sci-fi flick, but you've got to admit, the Event Horizon was pretty evil.
The mirrors in the recent movie Mirrors - There are dozens of horror stories about mirrors (Bloody Mary, Candyman, person appearing behind you but isn't there when you look over your shoulder) and heck, a room full of mirrors is just plain scary.
Scary Kids (In movies, and most horror video games, there is nothing scarier than a creepy looking kid.)
Toshio (the kid) in The Grudge - Him, together with the weird scuffling and croaking sounds, are guaranteed to make the hairs you didn't know you had stand up on end.
Alessa Gillespie in Silent Hill - She has achieved infamy both in the survival horror video games and the film adaptation.
Damien Thorn in The Omen - He's the antichrist, so he's got to look and act the part, right?
Regan MacNeil in The Exorcist - Projectile vomiting, spider walk down the stairs, and impossible head twists. Enough said.
The Children of the Corn - Who would've thought that a strange cult full of half pints can wipe off all the adults in their town?
(You can add the kid from the Korean movie Acacia - if you consider Acacia a horror movie and not a documentary about the blasted tree.)
Unkillable, Demented, and Downright Scary (or Downright Absurd)
The Shark in Jaws - Come on, tell me you didn't shout "Get out of the damn water!" or "Swim faster, you idiot!" at the TV when the fin popped out of the surface and the accompanying "dun-dun-dun-dun" background music came on. Note: This entry is probably also applicable to the giant croc in Lake Placid and the Anaconda in that movie with JLo and Ice Cube.
The zombies in 28 Days Later and the remade Dawn of the Dead - Which is scarier - running for dear life with zombies right at your heels or running for dear life while zombies shuffle behind you?
Elite Hunting in Hostel movies - They kidnap people and auction them off to be tortured and killed. I'm not sure about you, but they certainly give the traveler in me the heebie jeebies.
Natre in Shutter - Severe neck pain has never been explained in a more horrifying manner. Well, maybe beside finding a knife sticking out of your neck.
The Wishmaster - This forever smashed my vision of all the genies I ever loved (Jeannie in I Dream of Jeannie and Aladdin's Genie).
The Candyman - Say his name in front of a mirror 5 times and watch buckets of blood spill, specifically, yours.
Pumpkinhead - I vaguely remember this movie (I watched it waaay way back) and while the movie itself is bad, the movie monster Pumpkinhead lurks in my subconscious.
Leprechaun - Probably the most evil little green man ever (or at least he was back when I was nine). Can be distracted by throwing dirty shoes as he is compelled to shine them.
It - It's a clown.
The Killer in Urban Legend - I remember her due to the very very creepy message scrawled in blood: Aren't you glad you didn't turn on the light?
Jack Torrance in The Shining - Cabin fever + writer's block + alcohol = Jack is not a happy writer.
Infected in I Am Legend - They killed the dog. I don't care if they kill Will Smith, they killed the dog. Fine, Will Smith strangled the dog after it becomes infected, but that's beside the point, right?
Demon Knight in Tales from the Crypt - Billy Zane as a very cunning, and very evil demon. Buckets of blood everywhere. (Yes, it's another one of those movies I saw as a kid.)
The Fisherman from I Know (I Still Know, I'll Always Know, I'll Forever and Ever Know... wait) What You Did Last Summer - He evolved from a cranky victim of a hit and run to a supernatural vengeance machine out to get those who keep a death secret.
The Creature in Mimic - Over the course of the series (the other two Mimic movies were direct to video), the Judas Breed evolved from a cross between a mantis and a termite into a giant 6-foot cockroach able to mimic humans. You can't squash it as it is probably bigger than you are, and the tactic of flinging a tsinelas (slippers) against it is probably as ineffectual. How exactly do you kill it? Wrestle it into a vat of Baygon? Hmm...
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Chronicles of a Scare: Saw series
Ah, Halloween. Horror movies and Halloween Specials abound (Those who know me know that Halloween Specials and horror movies are only part of what gives me the chills come end of October, but let's not talk about that.) and to a movie marathon junkie like me, it means a lot of on-screen blood, gore, twists, and supernatural events. To commemorate the holiday, I have lined up a couple of favorites to sate my yearly thirst for screams.
Way back in 2004, I watched the original Saw and thought, "Wow, this is somewhat fresh. A twisted self righteous serial killer." And since then, I've followed the series in its sometimes confusing plot of ingenious traps, unrelenting surprises, and bewildered protagonists. The thing with Saw is, you're torn between rooting for Jigsaw (a.k.a. John Kramer), the killer who thinks his victims are taking their lives for granted and thus tests their will to live, and the hapless victims. Every character in the Saw movies are flawed, be it in their individual lives or in their apparent inability to follow instructions.
Moral dilemmas abound. The cop forced to aid and abet in the "games" of three felons. The crooked cop thrust into Jigsaw's game with his son as bait. The doctor forced to keep the killer alive and the father forced to save the last three people on Earth he'd want to save. The list goes on and on, and as the body count rises, I wonder how Saw can cling to its appeal without Jigsaw (played by wonderfully demented and creepy Tobin Bell). Anyway, here's a treat for those who never picked up the Saw series and for those who need some reminding:
Scary movies for Halloween: Saw series
Scary movies for Halloween: Saw and Saw II
Scary movies for Halloween: Saw III, Saw IV, and Saw V
Way back in 2004, I watched the original Saw and thought, "Wow, this is somewhat fresh. A twisted self righteous serial killer." And since then, I've followed the series in its sometimes confusing plot of ingenious traps, unrelenting surprises, and bewildered protagonists. The thing with Saw is, you're torn between rooting for Jigsaw (a.k.a. John Kramer), the killer who thinks his victims are taking their lives for granted and thus tests their will to live, and the hapless victims. Every character in the Saw movies are flawed, be it in their individual lives or in their apparent inability to follow instructions.
Moral dilemmas abound. The cop forced to aid and abet in the "games" of three felons. The crooked cop thrust into Jigsaw's game with his son as bait. The doctor forced to keep the killer alive and the father forced to save the last three people on Earth he'd want to save. The list goes on and on, and as the body count rises, I wonder how Saw can cling to its appeal without Jigsaw (played by wonderfully demented and creepy Tobin Bell). Anyway, here's a treat for those who never picked up the Saw series and for those who need some reminding:
Scary movies for Halloween: Saw series
Scary movies for Halloween: Saw and Saw II
Scary movies for Halloween: Saw III, Saw IV, and Saw V
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
pack that sheet
That is it. I am going to Japan. That's right. Japan. When I get there, I will immediately march into a bookstore and purchase Gatoh Shoji's Full Metal Panic light novels - and maybe grab the Haruhi Suzumiya light novels too. And then go home to read them (a side trip in between to Akihabara might not be a bad idea).
I must have them, I tell you. Dammit, the air fare to Japan and the shit I'll have to go through (I have a Japanese last name and I heard all about the hell my cousins - on different occasions - went through just to get blasted passports and/or visas.) will be taxing on my depleted funds and my frayed sanity, but blast it, I will go there. Either that, or buy the stuff from Amazon.
The problem with the latter option is that the online English mega store doesn't seem to know the difference between light novels, manga, short story compilations, and graphic novels, among other stuff the franchise has spawned. Plus, nobody on the bloody internet seems to be selling the last novels in the series. Wait, scratch that. After exhausting all of my google powers, I found that Amazon Japan has the reprinted versions. Downside is, I have to figure out how to pay for them. Apparently, Amazon.jp doesn't do PayPal. Blast it, I don't do credit cards either.
Add this to the fact that I read and write hiragana/katakana like a drunk kindergartener, heaven forbid the kanji. Here's an example of me reading Japanese:
フルメタル
That squiggly line is supposed to be Fu right? (Checks notes.) Oh, yeah, Fu. (On to the next letter.) I remember what that is, I just can't figure out what. Wait, it's Ru. Yay! Next letter is, hmm. That's an M syllable, isn't it? Why don't I just go ahead and look this up in Google? No, that's cheating and I'll never learn if I do that. Ah, I remember now, Me! Next it's... Ta, right? (Stares at notes.) Yes, it's Ta. (Thinks, "I have horrible penmanship, even in goddamned katakana.") The last one's another Ru. FuRuMeTaRu. Full Metal.
By the time I figure it out, I'd be bleeding from bashing my head against my desk.
But I don't care. It might take months before I can fully master all the squiggly lines, but I don't care. I will buy them and I will read them. I need to know what happens to Sagara Sousuke and Chidori Kaname after Amalgam takes Chidori and Mythril's reduced to a pile of burning rubble. I want to know what happens to the rest of them.
I'll explain why I'm this rabid in a few days, right now, I'll need my energy to find the books. Note: If anybody, ANYBODY, suggests that I wait for TokyoPop to translate the rest of the books, which they've had a licence to since last year and have since released the first 3 books (at the rate they're going, I'm going to be sanjuu when they release the last one), make sure that your jaw's ready the next time I see you because I will be sure to break it.
Another note: Those who think I'm a violent, rabid, and unreasonable person will need to get lessons in Exaggeration and Sarcasm. I am serious about getting those books though. If you know somebody nice in Japan who can help me out, please please please please point me in their direction.
I must have them, I tell you. Dammit, the air fare to Japan and the shit I'll have to go through (I have a Japanese last name and I heard all about the hell my cousins - on different occasions - went through just to get blasted passports and/or visas.) will be taxing on my depleted funds and my frayed sanity, but blast it, I will go there. Either that, or buy the stuff from Amazon.
The problem with the latter option is that the online English mega store doesn't seem to know the difference between light novels, manga, short story compilations, and graphic novels, among other stuff the franchise has spawned. Plus, nobody on the bloody internet seems to be selling the last novels in the series. Wait, scratch that. After exhausting all of my google powers, I found that Amazon Japan has the reprinted versions. Downside is, I have to figure out how to pay for them. Apparently, Amazon.jp doesn't do PayPal. Blast it, I don't do credit cards either.
Add this to the fact that I read and write hiragana/katakana like a drunk kindergartener, heaven forbid the kanji. Here's an example of me reading Japanese:
フルメタル
That squiggly line is supposed to be Fu right? (Checks notes.) Oh, yeah, Fu. (On to the next letter.) I remember what that is, I just can't figure out what. Wait, it's Ru. Yay! Next letter is, hmm. That's an M syllable, isn't it? Why don't I just go ahead and look this up in Google? No, that's cheating and I'll never learn if I do that. Ah, I remember now, Me! Next it's... Ta, right? (Stares at notes.) Yes, it's Ta. (Thinks, "I have horrible penmanship, even in goddamned katakana.") The last one's another Ru. FuRuMeTaRu. Full Metal.
By the time I figure it out, I'd be bleeding from bashing my head against my desk.
But I don't care. It might take months before I can fully master all the squiggly lines, but I don't care. I will buy them and I will read them. I need to know what happens to Sagara Sousuke and Chidori Kaname after Amalgam takes Chidori and Mythril's reduced to a pile of burning rubble. I want to know what happens to the rest of them.
I'll explain why I'm this rabid in a few days, right now, I'll need my energy to find the books. Note: If anybody, ANYBODY, suggests that I wait for TokyoPop to translate the rest of the books, which they've had a licence to since last year and have since released the first 3 books (at the rate they're going, I'm going to be sanjuu when they release the last one), make sure that your jaw's ready the next time I see you because I will be sure to break it.
Another note: Those who think I'm a violent, rabid, and unreasonable person will need to get lessons in Exaggeration and Sarcasm. I am serious about getting those books though. If you know somebody nice in Japan who can help me out, please please please please point me in their direction.
Friday, October 24, 2008
kotaete boku no koe ni
Where are you going?
Away. Away from here.
Hahaha. So in the end, you're going to run.
I guess.
Wow, you really are quitting. If you're so decided, why are you still standing there?
I just wanted to see one last time.
See what? Your dead dreams? The promises you couldn't keep? Why?
So I may never forget.
It's time you learned.
I know. I don't see what's funny.
It was doomed at the onset. You knew that.
Yes.
I don't know what's sadder. That you knew or that you ignored the fact.
...
Did you really imagine things would be different?
I did. Or at least, I hoped it would be different.
Oh, grow up. That idealism of yours will be the death of you.
I know.
Take a good look. THAT is not the only thing a shambles here.
It was lost at the beginning.
You knew that and you still bled for it. Now, you're more miserable than when you started.
I can't deny that.
...
...
That's your fourth cigarette in a row.
They keep me sane.
Those will kill you.
Let them. You know, you have an uncanny knack of stating the obvious.
Hahaha. Yes, I do. It's no fun when you're like this, you agree with everything I say.
Yeah.
Oh, you're going?
I have to.
Where to now?
I don't know either.
To be fair, you did what you could.
For those who are curious, "kotaete boku no koe ni" means "they answer in my own voice."
Away. Away from here.
Hahaha. So in the end, you're going to run.
I guess.
Wow, you really are quitting. If you're so decided, why are you still standing there?
I just wanted to see one last time.
See what? Your dead dreams? The promises you couldn't keep? Why?
So I may never forget.
It's time you learned.
I know. I don't see what's funny.
It was doomed at the onset. You knew that.
Yes.
I don't know what's sadder. That you knew or that you ignored the fact.
...
Did you really imagine things would be different?
I did. Or at least, I hoped it would be different.
Oh, grow up. That idealism of yours will be the death of you.
I know.
Take a good look. THAT is not the only thing a shambles here.
It was lost at the beginning.
You knew that and you still bled for it. Now, you're more miserable than when you started.
I can't deny that.
...
...
That's your fourth cigarette in a row.
They keep me sane.
Those will kill you.
Let them. You know, you have an uncanny knack of stating the obvious.
Hahaha. Yes, I do. It's no fun when you're like this, you agree with everything I say.
Yeah.
Oh, you're going?
I have to.
Where to now?
I don't know either.
To be fair, you did what you could.
For those who are curious, "kotaete boku no koe ni" means "they answer in my own voice."
Thursday, October 23, 2008
updates from the dank pit
The past week was spent, I am sorry to report, on nothing but wallowing in a dank pit of misery and self loathing. I am more sorry to report that I didn't spend the time in the dank pit alone, in fact, I swear I felt somebody's boot in my mouth a couple of times (but still, thanks). Nevertheless, spending tme in the pit is about as enjoyable as getting your healthy teeth drilled into and then pulled out with a rusty pair of pliers without the mercy of anesthesia. So today, I managed to summon all my strength and pull myself out of the pit slightly to be a little productive.
Progress report:
Progress report:
- I've been reviewing my Jap for a few days and now I can write some kana (hiragana and katakana)! I'll write about what's been helping me next time.
- I made a new blog on Blogspot called In Suspension of Disbelief. Okay, so I made it primarily for Adsense but I think I'll enjoy the freedom of pure lunacy nonetheless - while practicing my writing as well. This will be my mantra: Good enough is not enough.
- I tinkered with Google stuff (AdSense, Analytics, Trends) earlier today and found the lot of them really interesting. Especially the part where they have a world map showing which parts of the world your website was accessed from. It reminded me of that wipe-everybody-off-the-face-of-the-Earth video game, Pandemic. This IS world domination after all, in a tamer, less nefarious (maybe), financially satisfying manner. (Note: We had a visitors from Slovakia and Latvia. I will not rest until we get somebody from Madagascar to check our site.)
- Writing had been blah last week so I never went about writing reviews, among other things. I'm hoping this week will be different.
- The Young Underpaid Professionals (and the old guy XD) have moved to brand new premises: YuppieUniverse.com. Also, HostYourSitePH is up and running. Willing victims can contact the Triumvirate of Evil via anything but telepathy and cryptic passive-aggressive messages. Or can go through the normal means of signing up at HostYourSitePH.com. Also, better-safe-than-sorry peeps may avail of our free hosting trial period, if you cannot risk parting with 450 pesos for a domain though, we really can't help you.
- Most of my time last week was spent trolling blogs and I noticed something: Some of them have really good content and they have decent activity on their blogs, but why haven't they thought of the brilliant idea that is getting their own domains and earning enough cash to maybe pay for the hosting, the domain for a couple of years and maybe even a large frap from Starbucks? Okay, most people earn way more than that, but those are the ones who actually do it for a living. Anyway, I'll put that question in the Pending Investigation pigeonhole in my head.
Now I get it
I've been reading all the reviews I ever wrote (I used to work for a video game website) these past few days and I've realized what's wrong with them. They were spectacularly bland and bleedingly neutral. Go figure, I was there getting paid to sound like I enjoyed playing certain shoddy video games. Some the games were okay and a few were a blast, but I grimace every time I look back at the other gut wrenching shovelware tossed my way. I mean, I could've used the time I spent playing and writing reviews of bad games on something else. Like watching paint dry, which would have been three thousand times more fun.
The rule was to sound neutral but not boring. The reviews must be fun to read but never sarcastic (I never got that down pat. What I learned was to master the use of sarcasm disguised as something else. More often than not, it's enthusiasm.). I'm a routine person by nature so even after the Reigning Lords of the Hellhole changed the rules a bit, I stuck to the writing style I've been trained to use. As you can see, I'm still struggling to shake off the said writing style.
Now, I spent countless of hours at the UST Library's Filipiniana section (even though I absolutely loathed the librarian there) poring over copies of Jessica Zafra's Twisted books and recently, I've been laughing my ass off while reading Ellie Gibson's Wii reviews (in Eurogamer). I compared their articles with mine and the realization hit me like a runaway 18-wheeler: They say exactly what they want to say about stuff.
Hmm...
The rule was to sound neutral but not boring. The reviews must be fun to read but never sarcastic (I never got that down pat. What I learned was to master the use of sarcasm disguised as something else. More often than not, it's enthusiasm.). I'm a routine person by nature so even after the Reigning Lords of the Hellhole changed the rules a bit, I stuck to the writing style I've been trained to use. As you can see, I'm still struggling to shake off the said writing style.
Now, I spent countless of hours at the UST Library's Filipiniana section (even though I absolutely loathed the librarian there) poring over copies of Jessica Zafra's Twisted books and recently, I've been laughing my ass off while reading Ellie Gibson's Wii reviews (in Eurogamer). I compared their articles with mine and the realization hit me like a runaway 18-wheeler: They say exactly what they want to say about stuff.
Hmm...
i am
I am the Egyptian goddess Mout.
I am the voice inside my own head.
I am the prank caller you want to kill.
I am luuurve.
I am the smoke that floats above your lips.
I am the eyes that will ogle you when you feel alone.
I am the one you need.
I will be the person to despise you.
I am the woman sitting on your left shoulder.
I am bored.
I just want to get this over with.
Hate me.
Because I am.
I am the voice inside my own head.
I am the prank caller you want to kill.
I am luuurve.
I am the smoke that floats above your lips.
I am the eyes that will ogle you when you feel alone.
I am the one you need.
I will be the person to despise you.
I am the woman sitting on your left shoulder.
I am bored.
I just want to get this over with.
Hate me.
Because I am.
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Demented reviews Time Hollow
Sorry about the delay folks. I guess you'll agree when I say Time is one thing that's about as hard to come by as money. This is my first video game review in a while, so please excuse me if it reads a bit sketchy.
Konami and Tenky released Time Hollow for the Nintendo DS just recently (Japan version was released last March, while North America got its version just last September 23). I barely follow game releases anymore, but since I heard about this game from two other people, I decided to give it a whirl.
After the prologue, I locked myself in my room for five solid hours to play this particular game. First, it's an adventure point and click title and second, it covers a very interesting topic for me, the concept of time.
Story and Gameplay
Here's a quick rundown of the story: You play as Ethan Kairos and on your seventeenth birthday, you receive your inheritance, a Hollow Pen. Of couse, you have no idea what the Pen's for since you're busy figuring out how you became an orphan overnight. Imagine this, one night, you're having dinner with your parents. You wake up the next morning to find that you've been living with your uncle since your parents disappeared 12 years back. It gets more confusing, let me tell you.
Not only confusing, but confounding as well. How exactly do you stay sane under those types of circumstances? Somebody meddles with one thing in the past and everything just goes out of whack. Of course, your meddling with time also has its consequences.
The Hollow Pen, Ethan soon discovers, allows him to open portals to the past and lets him fiddle with events that happened at a certain point in time. Certain conditions must be met before Ethan can open the said portals, like exact time and date of a particular event. Clues come in the form of flashbacks and you can manipulate the stuff through the flashbacks you get. Gameplay in Time Hollow is generally point and click, the staple in most puzzle adventure games for Nintendo's little dynamo, mixed with a little "draw a circle here" gameplay.
Fun facts
ichi. The supporting characters' last names are numbers, particularly, hours. There's a Mr. Onegin, a Mr. Twombly, a Threet, and so on. In the Japanese version, they're Ichi-, Ni-, etcetera, etcetera. All of the names are a play on stuff time related.
ni. You'll find that the game follows some parts of Einstein's theory of relativity.
san. This was created by screenwriter Hata Takehiko and Kawano Junko. Kawano Junko created the PlayStation 2 (PS2) video game Shadow of Memories (or Shadow of Destiny for the US release), which also delves on time travel.
Time Hollow made me remember Groundhog Day and several other sci-fi flicks that delved into the messy and confusing world of time travel and time in general. Also, it made me think of that book Jessica Zafra mentioned in (I think) Twisted 7. If memory serves, the book's called Einstein's Dreams. (Note to self: Find that book.)
Whines and Good Parts
The annoying sound effects during the game (yes, it's supposed have something that sounds like a clock, I get it) can be muted, but you'd want your volume up when the anime-ish cutscenes kick in. Also, you might find yourself lost the first time you encounter "change one thing and everything changes" and the changes your nefarious opponent makes but you'll get the hang of it eventually.
I just finished playing Time Hollow and I loved it. Sure, it made me want to hurl my DS across the room a couple of times but it was all worth it. My frustration with it stemmed from the emo-ish dialogue of one particular character (is it a coincidence that he sports an emo hairstyle too?) and from the Groundhog Day feeling the game gives. Remember that movie where the guy's trying to prevent his girl from dying? He changes something everytime he goes back in time, but the girl still ends up dying. Place yourself in that guy's shoes and I'm sure you'd feel like throwing stuff or bludgeoning the girl in the end, too. (After a couple of minutes of searching, I found that this is from the 2002 flick, Time Machine.)
You'll soon realize Ethan's not alone in the Hollow Pen business. I'm not going to spoil the fun. Go and play it. Note: WAIT FOR THE CREDITS TO END.
Kotaete boku no koe ni
Where are you going?
Away. Away from here.
Hahaha. So in the end, you're going to run.
I guess.
Wow, you really are quitting. If you're so decided, why are you still standing there?
I just wanted to see one last time.
See what? Your dead dreams? The promises you couldn't keep? Why?
So I may never forget.
It's time you learned.
I know. I don't see what's funny.
It was doomed at the onset. You knew that.
Yes.
I don't know what's sadder. That you knew or that you ignored the fact.
...
Did you really imagine things would be different?
I did. Or at least, I hoped it would be different.
Oh, grow up. That idealism of yours will be the death of you.
I know.
Take a good look. THAT is not the only thing a shambles here.
It was lost at the beginning.
You knew that and you still bled for it. Now, you're more miserable than when you started.
I can't deny that.
...
...
That's your fourth cigarette in a row.
They keep me sane.
Those will kill you.
Let them. You know, you have an uncanny knack of stating the obvious.
Hahaha. Yes, I do. It's no fun when you're like this, you agree with everything I say.
Yeah.
Oh, you're going?
I have to.
Where to now?
I don't know either.
To be fair, you did what you could.
For those who are curious, "kotaete boku no koe ni" means "they answer in my own voice."
Away. Away from here.
Hahaha. So in the end, you're going to run.
I guess.
Wow, you really are quitting. If you're so decided, why are you still standing there?
I just wanted to see one last time.
See what? Your dead dreams? The promises you couldn't keep? Why?
So I may never forget.
It's time you learned.
I know. I don't see what's funny.
It was doomed at the onset. You knew that.
Yes.
I don't know what's sadder. That you knew or that you ignored the fact.
...
Did you really imagine things would be different?
I did. Or at least, I hoped it would be different.
Oh, grow up. That idealism of yours will be the death of you.
I know.
Take a good look. THAT is not the only thing a shambles here.
It was lost at the beginning.
You knew that and you still bled for it. Now, you're more miserable than when you started.
I can't deny that.
...
...
That's your fourth cigarette in a row.
They keep me sane.
Those will kill you.
Let them. You know, you have an uncanny knack of stating the obvious.
Hahaha. Yes, I do. It's no fun when you're like this, you agree with everything I say.
Yeah.
Oh, you're going?
I have to.
Where to now?
I don't know either.
To be fair, you did what you could.
For those who are curious, "kotaete boku no koe ni" means "they answer in my own voice."
Friday, October 17, 2008
happy thoughts, happy thoughts
Several things have been bugging me the past couple of days. Know those things that run amok inside your head and keep running and running until you're too exhausted to think about them? Yep, that sort of thing. Sleep isn't really an escape, I could swear I dreamed about something related just the other day.
And I can't write. I mean I got a thousand ideas I want to write about but I end up starting and pausing at the intro, then I am struck with a bad case of the blasted Blah. I find it entirely idiotic actually. I get an idea, I start to turn it over in my head, I open Notepad++ (thanks Chichar!), then boom, I hit a paralysing blank. I know, I know. I've written about the big bad writer's block a thousand times before, but somehow writing about it makes it go away for me.
Around (hmmm.... what year is this?) four years back, I was at a job interview and the HR person Gino asked me what I'd bring to a deserted island - along with food and water to last me for years. I had answered, "Tons of blank paper and pens."
Back then, I thought I'd be able to write a lot of stuff if only I could get some spare time. It's ironic since now that I do write for a living, all I want is to take a break from writing. Now, staring at blank pieces of paper/blank documents drives me nuts. I guess even the things you love doing become tiresome when used in the same sentence as "work." I'm rambling, I know.
This'll go away, eventually. I have a nagging feeling that this has something to do with 25 slowly creeping up on me, but let's not talk about that.
Happy thoughts, happy thoughts.
And I can't write. I mean I got a thousand ideas I want to write about but I end up starting and pausing at the intro, then I am struck with a bad case of the blasted Blah. I find it entirely idiotic actually. I get an idea, I start to turn it over in my head, I open Notepad++ (thanks Chichar!), then boom, I hit a paralysing blank. I know, I know. I've written about the big bad writer's block a thousand times before, but somehow writing about it makes it go away for me.
Around (hmmm.... what year is this?) four years back, I was at a job interview and the HR person Gino asked me what I'd bring to a deserted island - along with food and water to last me for years. I had answered, "Tons of blank paper and pens."
Back then, I thought I'd be able to write a lot of stuff if only I could get some spare time. It's ironic since now that I do write for a living, all I want is to take a break from writing. Now, staring at blank pieces of paper/blank documents drives me nuts. I guess even the things you love doing become tiresome when used in the same sentence as "work." I'm rambling, I know.
This'll go away, eventually. I have a nagging feeling that this has something to do with 25 slowly creeping up on me, but let's not talk about that.
Happy thoughts, happy thoughts.
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Updates
Recently, "crazy" became the most apt word to describe my pace (let's not talk about my sanity, it's always on crazy). There are a good number of reasons for this, though I'm too tired to discuss all of them right now.
One. We moved! Young Underpaid Professionals has moved to YuppieUniverse.com. To commemorate the start of our world domination plans, I made a banner:
It's not much, I know.
One. We moved! Young Underpaid Professionals has moved to YuppieUniverse.com. To commemorate the start of our world domination plans, I made a banner:
It's not much, I know.Thursday, October 9, 2008
epic and crazy chatlog with the princess
Okay, this chat log has been sitting in my PC long enough. I'd told Mabie I'd post it when the nightmare is over, and so here it is:
On work and Tagalog words:
pulpedpastel: one-man team talaga
iceroz_14: peste
iceroz_14: 7 versus one
iceroz_14: kamusta naman ang ratio
iceroz_14: kuyog amputa
pulpedpastel: what's kuyog?
iceroz_14: imagine jackie chan
iceroz_14: versus ten thousand henchmen
iceroz_14: yun ang kuyog
iceroz_14: parang "pinagtulung-tulungan"
iceroz_14: pero may image kasi ng pile up :D
pulpedpastel: hahahahaha
pulpedpastel: parang "dinumog"
iceroz_14: ayun
iceroz_14: pero ang dinumog kasi is used for something good
iceroz_14: mostly food
pulpedpastel: huh?
pulpedpastel: e baket sa news "dinumog ng mga fans si britney spears.."
pulpedpastel: or "dinumog ng taumbayan ang snatcher"
iceroz_14: LOL
iceroz_14: kinuyog sa second sentence
pulpedpastel: kinumag
pulpedpastel: hahaha
pulpedpastel: di ba parang.. koopal yun
iceroz_14: kinumag? you're inventing words na
pulpedpastel: kumag.
pulpedpastel: di ba.
pulpedpastel: kumag ka
pulpedpastel: i mean, that's how it's used
iceroz_14: sabi mo kinumag eh
pulpedpastel: not you
iceroz_14: XD
iceroz_14: check above ^^
pulpedpastel: o_O
pulpedpastel: i don't know. am sorry.
More tagalog:
pulpedpastel: omg. sabi ko na nga ba tulog pa tong hinayupak na to
pulpedpastel: (oha! hinayupak!)
pulpedpastel: =))
pulpedpastel: anong root word nun?
iceroz_14: hayop
iceroz_14: :D
pulpedpastel: wada --
pulpedpastel: i was thinking like..
pulpedpastel: ahh..never mind.
pulpedpastel: ahaha. pagtatawanan mo lang ako uli
iceroz_14: h - in - ayup - ak
pulpedpastel: H -in -AYUP -ak
iceroz_14: right
pulpedpastel: omg! we're sooo espn!
iceroz_14: :D
pulpedpastel: :))
iceroz_14: :))
pulpedpastel: so what that does mean? animalized?
iceroz_14: hindi
pulpedpastel: we've got a lot of weird, non-real words, noh?
pulpedpastel: not my fault am confused, therefore
iceroz_14: hindi animalized, but showing animal (mis)behavior
pulpedpastel: ah
pulpedpastel: animalistic
On giving names:
iceroz_14: yeah you're my super coolio master crammer ghostwriter princess
iceroz_14: shet haba
pulpedpastel: hahaha!
pulpedpastel: try a kickass acronym for that bitch
pulpedpastel: :))
iceroz_14: ahahaha
pulpedpastel: kung yung rich fat (short) frat chinese bastard nga e
iceroz_14: i'm sticking with mahaderang non-editor
pulpedpastel: at may singit na thought pa yun ha!
pulpedpastel: ...
pulpedpastel: hmm. i thought you were resigning?
iceroz_14: :))
pulpedpastel: how come?
iceroz_14: i am
pulpedpastel: bati na kayo?
pulpedpastel: or may rineto syang ayus
iceroz_14: i just found out that a usual mag article costs quadruple
pulpedpastel: what do you mean?
iceroz_14: wala no, tangina nya, i won't work for her anymore
iceroz_14: not after this shit
iceroz_14: di ko naman sya pedeng iwan ngayon
pulpedpastel: but you said you're sticking with her..
pulpedpastel: o_O
pulpedpastel: ahh for now.. lang?
iceroz_14: pulpedpastel: try a kickass acronym for that bitch
pulpedpastel: so until when are you duking it out
iceroz_14: so sabi ko, i'm sticking (with the name) mahaderang non-editor
pulpedpastel: am not your mahaderang non-editor naman di ba?
pulpedpastel: :S
iceroz_14: hindi, si publisher
pulpedpastel: am your (insert oober habang imbento name here)
pulpedpastel: oh shit
pulpedpastel: another round of labo thread
iceroz_14: mabie, you're not functional
I'm going to post about this.
iceroz_14: you know i'm going to blog about this when this shit is all over right?
iceroz_14: :))
pulpedpastel: hahahah. yeah.. @_@ it's just way too riveting to pass up.
On the (omitted) car convo:
iceroz_14: gusto ko syang sikuhin na mukha
pulpedpastel: it wasnt that bad
pulpedpastel: parang qj lang yan e
iceroz_14: well, it's just really sad
pulpedpastel: i could leave if i wanted to, but in the meantime i have nowhere else to go naman talaga and am curious as to what will happen next, so i guess i can afford to be the curious cat
iceroz_14: it's sad because a. there are no shops where men can buy balls and/or backbones for themselves, b. there is relative. moving from point a to point b usually requires some moving, and c. the universe and human nature suck.
iceroz_14: and dammit, you deserve better
iceroz_14: you deserve something more than fucking "i'm getting there."
pulpedpastel: i know.
iceroz_14: :-<
pulpedpastel: awww
pulpedpastel: that's cute!
pulpedpastel: how's that???
pulpedpastel: (adhd)
iceroz_14: i love that smiley
iceroz_14: : - <
pulpedpastel: :-<
pulpedpastel: awwwwww
pulpedpastel: gigil!
pulpedpastel: and sad.
Entrepreneurship:
iceroz_14: anyway. maybe i'll put up a shop that sells balls and backbones. it caters to women
iceroz_14: madami naman siguro akong mabebenta no?
pulpedpastel: baket it caters to women?
pulpedpastel: e mas marami ngang may ganyan sa babae e
pulpedpastel: dapat for guys
iceroz_14: ibibigay nila sa mga mokong nilang whatevers
pulpedpastel: hahah! so gift shop ito?
iceroz_14: iisipin ba ng guys na kailangan nila ng balls?
iceroz_14: hindi diba?
iceroz_14: oo, pedeng gift shop >:) ang tagline: for people who don't know they need it
pulpedpastel: =))
pulpedpastel: WINNER!!!
pulpedpastel: OLYMPICS WHITE GOLD MEDAL!
pulpedpastel: o, mas syala sa yellow gold yun ha
pulpedpastel: or.. PLATINUM
pulpedpastel: oha.
iceroz_14: we'll make tons of money with that
iceroz_14: idodonate natin sa charity for retards who think they're smart
pulpedpastel: hahahaha!
iceroz_14: hay, oks nga sana kung pede yun no?
Hit and Run:
iceroz_14: it's amazing how she does that. she hits you then runs away. and you're left with a sore jaw and with nothing to do about it.
pulpedpastel: hahaha
pulpedpastel: stunned and shit.
That's the epic chat I had with Mabie. Mind you, all of that was in ONE convo. I saved it for posterity. And as a record of our retardation every morning.
On work and Tagalog words:
pulpedpastel: one-man team talaga
iceroz_14: peste
iceroz_14: 7 versus one
iceroz_14: kamusta naman ang ratio
iceroz_14: kuyog amputa
pulpedpastel: what's kuyog?
iceroz_14: imagine jackie chan
iceroz_14: versus ten thousand henchmen
iceroz_14: yun ang kuyog
iceroz_14: parang "pinagtulung-tulungan"
iceroz_14: pero may image kasi ng pile up :D
pulpedpastel: hahahahaha
pulpedpastel: parang "dinumog"
iceroz_14: ayun
iceroz_14: pero ang dinumog kasi is used for something good
iceroz_14: mostly food
pulpedpastel: huh?
pulpedpastel: e baket sa news "dinumog ng mga fans si britney spears.."
pulpedpastel: or "dinumog ng taumbayan ang snatcher"
iceroz_14: LOL
iceroz_14: kinuyog sa second sentence
pulpedpastel: kinumag
pulpedpastel: hahaha
pulpedpastel: di ba parang.. koopal yun
iceroz_14: kinumag? you're inventing words na
pulpedpastel: kumag.
pulpedpastel: di ba.
pulpedpastel: kumag ka
pulpedpastel: i mean, that's how it's used
iceroz_14: sabi mo kinumag eh
pulpedpastel: not you
iceroz_14: XD
iceroz_14: check above ^^
pulpedpastel: o_O
pulpedpastel: i don't know. am sorry.
More tagalog:
pulpedpastel: omg. sabi ko na nga ba tulog pa tong hinayupak na to
pulpedpastel: (oha! hinayupak!)
pulpedpastel: =))
pulpedpastel: anong root word nun?
iceroz_14: hayop
iceroz_14: :D
pulpedpastel: wada --
pulpedpastel: i was thinking like..
pulpedpastel: ahh..never mind.
pulpedpastel: ahaha. pagtatawanan mo lang ako uli
iceroz_14: h - in - ayup - ak
pulpedpastel: H -in -AYUP -ak
iceroz_14: right
pulpedpastel: omg! we're sooo espn!
iceroz_14: :D
pulpedpastel: :))
iceroz_14: :))
pulpedpastel: so what that does mean? animalized?
iceroz_14: hindi
pulpedpastel: we've got a lot of weird, non-real words, noh?
pulpedpastel: not my fault am confused, therefore
iceroz_14: hindi animalized, but showing animal (mis)behavior
pulpedpastel: ah
pulpedpastel: animalistic
On giving names:
iceroz_14: yeah you're my super coolio master crammer ghostwriter princess
iceroz_14: shet haba
pulpedpastel: hahaha!
pulpedpastel: try a kickass acronym for that bitch
pulpedpastel: :))
iceroz_14: ahahaha
pulpedpastel: kung yung rich fat (short) frat chinese bastard nga e
iceroz_14: i'm sticking with mahaderang non-editor
pulpedpastel: at may singit na thought pa yun ha!
pulpedpastel: ...
pulpedpastel: hmm. i thought you were resigning?
iceroz_14: :))
pulpedpastel: how come?
iceroz_14: i am
pulpedpastel: bati na kayo?
pulpedpastel: or may rineto syang ayus
iceroz_14: i just found out that a usual mag article costs quadruple
pulpedpastel: what do you mean?
iceroz_14: wala no, tangina nya, i won't work for her anymore
iceroz_14: not after this shit
iceroz_14: di ko naman sya pedeng iwan ngayon
pulpedpastel: but you said you're sticking with her..
pulpedpastel: o_O
pulpedpastel: ahh for now.. lang?
iceroz_14: pulpedpastel: try a kickass acronym for that bitch
pulpedpastel: so until when are you duking it out
iceroz_14: so sabi ko, i'm sticking (with the name) mahaderang non-editor
pulpedpastel: am not your mahaderang non-editor naman di ba?
pulpedpastel: :S
iceroz_14: hindi, si publisher
pulpedpastel: am your (insert oober habang imbento name here)
pulpedpastel: oh shit
pulpedpastel: another round of labo thread
iceroz_14: mabie, you're not functional
I'm going to post about this.
iceroz_14: you know i'm going to blog about this when this shit is all over right?
iceroz_14: :))
pulpedpastel: hahahah. yeah.. @_@ it's just way too riveting to pass up.
On the (omitted) car convo:
iceroz_14: gusto ko syang sikuhin na mukha
pulpedpastel: it wasnt that bad
pulpedpastel: parang qj lang yan e
iceroz_14: well, it's just really sad
pulpedpastel: i could leave if i wanted to, but in the meantime i have nowhere else to go naman talaga and am curious as to what will happen next, so i guess i can afford to be the curious cat
iceroz_14: it's sad because a. there are no shops where men can buy balls and/or backbones for themselves, b. there is relative. moving from point a to point b usually requires some moving, and c. the universe and human nature suck.
iceroz_14: and dammit, you deserve better
iceroz_14: you deserve something more than fucking "i'm getting there."
pulpedpastel: i know.
iceroz_14: :-<
pulpedpastel: awww
pulpedpastel: that's cute!
pulpedpastel: how's that???
pulpedpastel: (adhd)
iceroz_14: i love that smiley
iceroz_14: : - <
pulpedpastel: :-<
pulpedpastel: awwwwww
pulpedpastel: gigil!
pulpedpastel: and sad.
Entrepreneurship:
iceroz_14: anyway. maybe i'll put up a shop that sells balls and backbones. it caters to women
iceroz_14: madami naman siguro akong mabebenta no?
pulpedpastel: baket it caters to women?
pulpedpastel: e mas marami ngang may ganyan sa babae e
pulpedpastel: dapat for guys
iceroz_14: ibibigay nila sa mga mokong nilang whatevers
pulpedpastel: hahah! so gift shop ito?
iceroz_14: iisipin ba ng guys na kailangan nila ng balls?
iceroz_14: hindi diba?
iceroz_14: oo, pedeng gift shop >:) ang tagline: for people who don't know they need it
pulpedpastel: =))
pulpedpastel: WINNER!!!
pulpedpastel: OLYMPICS WHITE GOLD MEDAL!
pulpedpastel: o, mas syala sa yellow gold yun ha
pulpedpastel: or.. PLATINUM
pulpedpastel: oha.
iceroz_14: we'll make tons of money with that
iceroz_14: idodonate natin sa charity for retards who think they're smart
pulpedpastel: hahahaha!
iceroz_14: hay, oks nga sana kung pede yun no?
Hit and Run:
iceroz_14: it's amazing how she does that. she hits you then runs away. and you're left with a sore jaw and with nothing to do about it.
pulpedpastel: hahaha
pulpedpastel: stunned and shit.
That's the epic chat I had with Mabie. Mind you, all of that was in ONE convo. I saved it for posterity. And as a record of our retardation every morning.
Monday, September 22, 2008
I am a yuppie
Yuppie = Young Underpaid Professional.
New website alert people! Check it out here: http://yuppie.productnewstips.com/
We just started, so excuse the lack of content. There will be some stuff there, I promise. In the meantime, meet the yuppies (we're using pen names, and if you so much as snicker, i will hunt you down, break down your door and hit you with the nearest blunt object until you say "mommy." note that i will be armed with a video camera while i do so.)
The Overlord has a day job. She's researcher for a company in Makati and of course, is underpaid. She's now looking at ways the internet can fund her world domination schemes. She also bakes scrumptious delights, possibly for world domination purposes as well.
Monte is currently a bum. While in unemployment limbo and in between job interviews, she plots government infiltration. Translation: getting employed by the government and rubbing elbows with the farts who siphon off honest tax money into their bank accounts in Timbuktwo or possibly beaming off the funds to their mothership. Also, she's a rabid fangirl for anything shoujo/shonen/reverse harem.
Chiyo is a freelance writer, which basically means she's half a bum. She plans to make millions by opening a shop that sells backbones and balls, with occasional stocks of common sense and conscience (souls are very hard to come by).
New website alert people! Check it out here: http://yuppie.productnewstips.com/
We just started, so excuse the lack of content. There will be some stuff there, I promise. In the meantime, meet the yuppies (we're using pen names, and if you so much as snicker, i will hunt you down, break down your door and hit you with the nearest blunt object until you say "mommy." note that i will be armed with a video camera while i do so.)
The Overlord has a day job. She's researcher for a company in Makati and of course, is underpaid. She's now looking at ways the internet can fund her world domination schemes. She also bakes scrumptious delights, possibly for world domination purposes as well.
Monte is currently a bum. While in unemployment limbo and in between job interviews, she plots government infiltration. Translation: getting employed by the government and rubbing elbows with the farts who siphon off honest tax money into their bank accounts in Timbuktwo or possibly beaming off the funds to their mothership. Also, she's a rabid fangirl for anything shoujo/shonen/reverse harem.
Chiyo is a freelance writer, which basically means she's half a bum. She plans to make millions by opening a shop that sells backbones and balls, with occasional stocks of common sense and conscience (souls are very hard to come by).
Sunday, September 14, 2008
Of books, jelly legs, and pesky little monsters
These days, only a few things manage to drag me out of the house: cigarette and tea (yes, tea) shortage; meetings with the bit-- err, publisher; UP isaw trips; and hmmm... I guess that's it. Well, today I did manage to drag my lazy carcass out of the house for the book fair. It deserves to be called so because it only happens once a year and if you'd known me long enough, you'd know that I only splurge on books (which explains why I only have two weeks' worth of panglakad clothes), and food, among a few other things.
MIBF (Manila International Book Fair) was a bit different this year. It was moved to SMX Convention Center at SM Mall of Asia from World Trade Center. Last year, when I got home from the said book fair, I had energy left to go home, walk the three blocks to Alfaro, cook, read the books, and watch TV. This year, I dragged my less than physically fit self to the farthest end of MoA - further (mis)adventures later - and when it was time to go home, I was ready to drop dead. Another difference is that this year, I had friends along and it was definitely more fun (and more tiring) on that account. Let's start at the beginning.
I woke up early and got ready early, but again, I was late. You know those buses that move at an average of 5 kph in hopes of getting more passengers? Unfortunately, I caught one of those. By the time we got to Coastal Mall, I was ready to use the nearest blunt object to bludgeon the driver in the head with.
Years later, I got to MoA and promptly asked where the books were at. By that time, I was a.) so excited for books, I can practically SMELL them, and b.) very hungry. Bad combination. I asked the guards where the venue was and if this (mis)adventure was an epic, they would have said as they pointed to one general direction, "Go straight over yonder!"
Translation: Go that a way!
Now, if you haven't been to the SM Mall of Asia, here's a primer: IT'S ONE GIANT ASS MALL. It's probably directly proportional to the projected size of the owner's cojones. Anyway, I digress.
And so I got lost. The last guard I asked gave me proper directions, "Take the escalator, trackback a few steps and you'll find the walkway beside the elevators." By the time I got to meet Rica, Luke, Anamer, Cris & beau, and Kurt, I had walked from one end to the other end of MoA 2 times (an approximate distance of two kilometers) and it was time to eat.
Since Hawaiian Barbeque's ribs motivated my feet to keep moving, we walked back to the other end of the mall, only to find that the said motivation was closed. While we talked about other food choices, we walked back from whence we came, thus another kilometer on my Odometer. We ended up eating at Tokyo Cafe (which wasn't bad at all except my legs were turning into jelly).
Lesson: Google map the blasted place.
The actual book fair was a sight to see, as is usual. Lots of booths, lots of books. Can you imagine it? To complete the mental image, add a legion of screaming and running kids, a dash of peeps who went cosplaying, and with snippets of the storytelling session blaring from the overhead speakers ("You broke my eggs.... Why did you blow too hard?" I was with the hentai baba, go figure). Oh and don't forget the rich bastards who took all the manga right before my very eyes.
I only went to my usual haunts: PowerBooks, National, A Different Bookstore, and Anvil. The damage: 2 manga (Saber Marionette J and Sokora Refugees), 2 back issues of Pugad Baboy (4 and 5), and Ladlad 2. I had to pry myself away from Jessica Zafra's Twisted Readings (a collection of essays that is not in general circulation yet) and Terry Patchett's screenplay of The Hogfather (it was for the TV adaptation of the 20th DiscWorld book). I still had too many unread books at home.
Oh, and Adarna had an exhibit of their most loved characters! Remember Tiktaktok and Pikpakbum? They were there, along with Chenelyn (I don't remember her, must be new), Ampalaya, Maryang Alimango, Mariang Makiling, and Langgam at Tipaklong!
Anyway, I had fun. I walked in the rain like a kid who got out of the house for the first time (in a sense, I was a kid who got out of the house after two weeks of being cooped up). It was a pleasant change, I think.
(Note to those who were not able to come with us yesterday: MILB will be running for two more days.)
MIBF (Manila International Book Fair) was a bit different this year. It was moved to SMX Convention Center at SM Mall of Asia from World Trade Center. Last year, when I got home from the said book fair, I had energy left to go home, walk the three blocks to Alfaro, cook, read the books, and watch TV. This year, I dragged my less than physically fit self to the farthest end of MoA - further (mis)adventures later - and when it was time to go home, I was ready to drop dead. Another difference is that this year, I had friends along and it was definitely more fun (and more tiring) on that account. Let's start at the beginning.
I woke up early and got ready early, but again, I was late. You know those buses that move at an average of 5 kph in hopes of getting more passengers? Unfortunately, I caught one of those. By the time we got to Coastal Mall, I was ready to use the nearest blunt object to bludgeon the driver in the head with.
Years later, I got to MoA and promptly asked where the books were at. By that time, I was a.) so excited for books, I can practically SMELL them, and b.) very hungry. Bad combination. I asked the guards where the venue was and if this (mis)adventure was an epic, they would have said as they pointed to one general direction, "Go straight over yonder!"
Translation: Go that a way!
Now, if you haven't been to the SM Mall of Asia, here's a primer: IT'S ONE GIANT ASS MALL. It's probably directly proportional to the projected size of the owner's cojones. Anyway, I digress.
And so I got lost. The last guard I asked gave me proper directions, "Take the escalator, trackback a few steps and you'll find the walkway beside the elevators." By the time I got to meet Rica, Luke, Anamer, Cris & beau, and Kurt, I had walked from one end to the other end of MoA 2 times (an approximate distance of two kilometers) and it was time to eat.
Since Hawaiian Barbeque's ribs motivated my feet to keep moving, we walked back to the other end of the mall, only to find that the said motivation was closed. While we talked about other food choices, we walked back from whence we came, thus another kilometer on my Odometer. We ended up eating at Tokyo Cafe (which wasn't bad at all except my legs were turning into jelly).
Lesson: Google map the blasted place.
The actual book fair was a sight to see, as is usual. Lots of booths, lots of books. Can you imagine it? To complete the mental image, add a legion of screaming and running kids, a dash of peeps who went cosplaying, and with snippets of the storytelling session blaring from the overhead speakers ("You broke my eggs.... Why did you blow too hard?" I was with the hentai baba, go figure). Oh and don't forget the rich bastards who took all the manga right before my very eyes.
I only went to my usual haunts: PowerBooks, National, A Different Bookstore, and Anvil. The damage: 2 manga (Saber Marionette J and Sokora Refugees), 2 back issues of Pugad Baboy (4 and 5), and Ladlad 2. I had to pry myself away from Jessica Zafra's Twisted Readings (a collection of essays that is not in general circulation yet) and Terry Patchett's screenplay of The Hogfather (it was for the TV adaptation of the 20th DiscWorld book). I still had too many unread books at home.
Oh, and Adarna had an exhibit of their most loved characters! Remember Tiktaktok and Pikpakbum? They were there, along with Chenelyn (I don't remember her, must be new), Ampalaya, Maryang Alimango, Mariang Makiling, and Langgam at Tipaklong!Anyway, I had fun. I walked in the rain like a kid who got out of the house for the first time (in a sense, I was a kid who got out of the house after two weeks of being cooped up). It was a pleasant change, I think.
(Note to those who were not able to come with us yesterday: MILB will be running for two more days.)
Friday, September 5, 2008
promdifiction!
Sometimes, long bus rides can be very lonely. Buses are not only great venues for sentimental music videos and catching a couple of minutes of sleep, they are also prime spots for remembluring (whether you like it or not). Here’s my story of a trip of remembering, and maybe of forgetting, too.
That's right, my story's up on Promdifiction (we moved by the way)... It's my first tagalog short story, basahin nyo naman at magleave kayo ng comments.
Here's the link: promdifiction.com
That's right, my story's up on Promdifiction (we moved by the way)... It's my first tagalog short story, basahin nyo naman at magleave kayo ng comments.
Here's the link: promdifiction.com
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
the endless sea of blah
after staring at the research i need to read for the articles i'm supposed to write (take note, staring, not actually reading), i've decided to take a break. i can't concentrate and well, when this kind of thing happens, it's better to take 2 or 24 hours off of doing anything.
i wonder where these blah states come from. are they born out of the same abysmal pit of frustrations and longing? or are they extraterretrial signals that make people stop whatever the hell they are doing at that particular point? i guess i'll file that question under recurring life questions like "bakit walang babaeng hermitanyo?"
anyway, i have tons of things that need doing and i seem to be in want of something but i don't know what it is. do i need, uhh... dare i say it, inspiration?
maybe i just need some sleep.
i wonder where these blah states come from. are they born out of the same abysmal pit of frustrations and longing? or are they extraterretrial signals that make people stop whatever the hell they are doing at that particular point? i guess i'll file that question under recurring life questions like "bakit walang babaeng hermitanyo?"
anyway, i have tons of things that need doing and i seem to be in want of something but i don't know what it is. do i need, uhh... dare i say it, inspiration?
maybe i just need some sleep.
Friday, August 1, 2008
it's a friendster world
I was cleaning up my Yahoo mail inbox (cleaning up spam - guess what, i won several million dollars) and opened an update from Friendster (apparently, one of my friends burped or something). So I follow the link and log in to my friendster account. Yes, i do have one, though I open it about once a year on average.
Page loads and I decided to do a little experiment. I clicked the "Friends" link. Who the hell are these people? Okay, I did recognize some of them but honestly, I remembering some of them proved futile. Some pictures did help (I stared at one picture. after 5 painful minutes of turning my brain inside out, I realized it was a classmate back in high school. give me a break, okay? she used to be a he.) and the "Friends in Common" feature was a blessing.
After a couple of pages of browsing through old co-workers, classmates from college, highschool and elementary, friends from Ragnarok and Ran, and complete strangers (i must have been drunk when i approved those), among others, I gave up, realizing I was in over my head.
It's just sad. The human memory stinks. It betrays even the fondest memories of friends. There are no change logs, no quest logs, no detailed accounts of how or when or where you met them, and no rewind and replay buttons.
Page loads and I decided to do a little experiment. I clicked the "Friends" link. Who the hell are these people? Okay, I did recognize some of them but honestly, I remembering some of them proved futile. Some pictures did help (I stared at one picture. after 5 painful minutes of turning my brain inside out, I realized it was a classmate back in high school. give me a break, okay? she used to be a he.) and the "Friends in Common" feature was a blessing.
After a couple of pages of browsing through old co-workers, classmates from college, highschool and elementary, friends from Ragnarok and Ran, and complete strangers (i must have been drunk when i approved those), among others, I gave up, realizing I was in over my head.
It's just sad. The human memory stinks. It betrays even the fondest memories of friends. There are no change logs, no quest logs, no detailed accounts of how or when or where you met them, and no rewind and replay buttons.
Thursday, July 31, 2008
random chatlogs
on watching morning cartoons... and the extent of cinderella's sexual enlightenment.
nenok13: classic na line ni prinsipe leonard (habang nasa tapat ng fountain, kasi bored sila ni cinderella): marunong ka bang mangabayo? mangabayo tayong dalawa, gusto mo?
nenok13: cinderella: hm?
nenok13: hahahahaha
iceroz_14: LOLOLOLOLOLOL
nenok13: panalo diba? weeeeeeeeener!
on naming stuff.
iceroz_14: wala, olats pangalan
iceroz_14: alexandre jakobe
iceroz_14: goodluck naman sa mga tanga magspell
pulpedpastel: jakobe?
pulpedpastel: and you pronounce it as... jacob?
pulpedpastel: o_O
iceroz_14: yup, hay
pulpedpastel: parang yung pamangkin ko. juan yung spelling, pero you say it as eu-wan.
pulpedpastel: arte.
pulpedpastel: nyeta.
iceroz_14: why are people so damn retarded about giving names anyway?
pulpedpastel: iknowright!
iceroz_14: gah
pulpedpastel: well, ako i can understand. it's affirmation of ownership e
iceroz_14: howell
pulpedpastel: di ba, observe how we have this fascination with naming even inanimate objects.
pulpedpastel: si grace ni rem. si tagpi ni trish.
pulpedpastel: si manuel dance robo
pulpedpastel: si james yosi case.
pulpedpastel: it all translates to
pulpedpastel: YOU'RE MINE BITCH!
iceroz_14: they won't listen to reasons like: the retards at the records will probably mess that up
iceroz_14: ahahahahahahah
iceroz_14: honga
pulpedpastel: yeah. aren't you glad that's not our problem? hahahahaha!!!!
on going back to basics.
iceroz_14: ang absurd ng process ng pag open ng bank account
nenok13: baket
iceroz_14: to be able to get money (in mabie's case loan, sakin paypal), i need to get IDs
iceroz_14: to get IDs, i need to shell out cash
iceroz_14: therefore, in order to earn money, i need to HAVE money
iceroz_14: shiyet
nenok13: that's the way this current civilization goes
nenok13: may option namang bumalik tayo sa trading wares
iceroz_14: rondo deja vu of ironies
nenok13: at maging barbarians uli
nenok13: uga uga
iceroz_14: mag barter trade ng asin
iceroz_14: kailangan talaga yung uga uga?
nenok13: you, take my husband. i take your house
nenok13: or something
iceroz_14: LOL
nenok13: wala ring biased laws against the brown monkeys na gagamitin
nenok13: hay
iceroz_14: hahahahahahahahaha
nenok13: so... magshell out ka ng cashesheshes
nenok13: ?
iceroz_14: this is so going to my blog
iceroz_14: wala akong magagawa. kung gusto kong mabayaran, kailangan kong magbukas ng isang account - na Visa
nenok13: hm
nenok13: no choice ah
iceroz_14: pero mukhang magandang trade yung husband for house ha.
nenok13: di ako retard, btw
nenok13: oo nga
nenok13: eh
iceroz_14: :-?
nenok13: hulul
on rakets and other activities.
seenoreen: musta?
iceroz_14: okay naman
iceroz_14: sorry dude, di ko pa naaasikaso yung drugs natin
iceroz_14: may odesk at isa pang raket ako
seenoreen: 'drugs natin' para tayong nagbebenta ng shabu
seenoreen: haha
nenok13: classic na line ni prinsipe leonard (habang nasa tapat ng fountain, kasi bored sila ni cinderella): marunong ka bang mangabayo? mangabayo tayong dalawa, gusto mo?
nenok13: cinderella: hm?
nenok13: hahahahaha
iceroz_14: LOLOLOLOLOLOL
nenok13: panalo diba? weeeeeeeeener!
on naming stuff.
iceroz_14: wala, olats pangalan
iceroz_14: alexandre jakobe
iceroz_14: goodluck naman sa mga tanga magspell
pulpedpastel: jakobe?
pulpedpastel: and you pronounce it as... jacob?
pulpedpastel: o_O
iceroz_14: yup, hay
pulpedpastel: parang yung pamangkin ko. juan yung spelling, pero you say it as eu-wan.
pulpedpastel: arte.
pulpedpastel: nyeta.
iceroz_14: why are people so damn retarded about giving names anyway?
pulpedpastel: iknowright!
iceroz_14: gah
pulpedpastel: well, ako i can understand. it's affirmation of ownership e
iceroz_14: howell
pulpedpastel: di ba, observe how we have this fascination with naming even inanimate objects.
pulpedpastel: si grace ni rem. si tagpi ni trish.
pulpedpastel: si manuel dance robo
pulpedpastel: si james yosi case.
pulpedpastel: it all translates to
pulpedpastel: YOU'RE MINE BITCH!
iceroz_14: they won't listen to reasons like: the retards at the records will probably mess that up
iceroz_14: ahahahahahahah
iceroz_14: honga
pulpedpastel: yeah. aren't you glad that's not our problem? hahahahaha!!!!
on going back to basics.
iceroz_14: ang absurd ng process ng pag open ng bank account
nenok13: baket
iceroz_14: to be able to get money (in mabie's case loan, sakin paypal), i need to get IDs
iceroz_14: to get IDs, i need to shell out cash
iceroz_14: therefore, in order to earn money, i need to HAVE money
iceroz_14: shiyet
nenok13: that's the way this current civilization goes
nenok13: may option namang bumalik tayo sa trading wares
iceroz_14: rondo deja vu of ironies
nenok13: at maging barbarians uli
nenok13: uga uga
iceroz_14: mag barter trade ng asin
iceroz_14: kailangan talaga yung uga uga?
nenok13: you, take my husband. i take your house
nenok13: or something
iceroz_14: LOL
nenok13: wala ring biased laws against the brown monkeys na gagamitin
nenok13: hay
iceroz_14: hahahahahahahahaha
nenok13: so... magshell out ka ng cashesheshes
nenok13: ?
iceroz_14: this is so going to my blog
iceroz_14: wala akong magagawa. kung gusto kong mabayaran, kailangan kong magbukas ng isang account - na Visa
nenok13: hm
nenok13: no choice ah
iceroz_14: pero mukhang magandang trade yung husband for house ha.
nenok13: di ako retard, btw
nenok13: oo nga
nenok13: eh
iceroz_14: :-?
nenok13: hulul
on rakets and other activities.
seenoreen: musta?
iceroz_14: okay naman
iceroz_14: sorry dude, di ko pa naaasikaso yung drugs natin
iceroz_14: may odesk at isa pang raket ako
seenoreen: 'drugs natin' para tayong nagbebenta ng shabu
seenoreen: haha
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
Don't call us, we'll call you
Aspiring to be a full-time home-based writer was harder than I originally expected. I sent dozens of applications to gazillions of companies (I got my first assignment last night, yay!), but the one that really caught my eye was for an LGBT or GLBT (for the acronym impaired, it stands for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transsexual/Transgender) start up magazine. As the cycle of all job applications go, I sent a resume and a couple of writing samples. A week passes with no reply whatsoever. I emailed them and asked for an update, something that goes against:
a.) my knowledge of HR recruitment processes (via writing my bestfriend Ayee’s college assignments and thesis). I know that the “don’t call us, we’ll call you” thing is imperative. “We’ll call you” usually means, “We’ll call you if we can’t find somebody more suitable”. So if you don’t want to sound needy or desperate, don’t call.
b.) my inner superiority complex afflicted writer. She was screaming at me: Do not effing call if you have a sliver of pride left, dammit.
So yeah, I followed up and got gob-smacked in the face with:
Yes, I’m planning to meet you and the other writer this coming weekend! His name is Bruce.... In the meantime can you say something about how is it like to be gay in the Phils. -- social and cultural aspect... I wanna see your point of view.
That’s a very good question. It sure beats the usual list your qualities (shame though, I’ve always wanted to add “pleasing personality”), what are your strengths and weaknesses (super strength, etc. and kryptonite, respectively), and what was the toughest decision you had to make in the absence of your boss (eat out or vendo?), among other things. Anyway, I digress.
How do I answer this question? It’s a tough one for me and I don’t know why. (I’m bisexual by the way, in case you missed my post with that conversation with my brother.) It really hasn’t bothered me in a while. By “it,” I mean the strange looks I get when holding a girl’s hand in public (no petting, eww.) or being out on an obvious date with a girl. I understand why some people have that sort of reaction and I don’t feel particularly offended.
I understand that the Philippines, a largely Catholic country, still has reservations on the LGBT community. As kids, we were taught that there were men and women – no mention of women liking other women, men liking other men, or men and women that jump from one liking to the other. It’s ingrained in our collective consciousness and I admit, my battle with that early black and white teachings didn’t stop with my admittance of being bisexual.
That said, I can’t really blame my friends who have been living with spiders and reeking of moth balls in their closets. Sometimes, being tagged “gay” can be exhausting. First, you might be pigeonholed into a minority (though arguably, LGBT’s sheer numbers and cultural influence makes the word minority a bit of misnomer) and might be seen as something from a different caste. Second, you might face some opposition from family and friends. Some might even treat you differently. Third, you might get all sorts of “innocent” questions and might be the butt of some jokes (Let’s face it, we all have a jest or two about being gay). But there is hope. A lot more people are open to the idea of LGBT, and it may be due to our cultural contributions.
In this country, the gay influence is best seen in the entertainment industry, and gay awareness seems to be spread further by gay lingo’s popularity. I mean who doesn’t know chorva, chenes, or keber these days? I think it’s a good thing that more and more people understand and accept the community because the influence doesn’t – and won’t – stop there.
What do you think? Did I answer the question?
oh and if you want to try out working from home, click this link (The On Demand Global Workforce - oDesk) or the banner below:
Saturday, July 26, 2008
Life After People
Rica mentioned History Channel's Life After People a few months back and of course, one of the first things I did after I got an internet connection was get a copy of it since its premise is intriguing.
Uber GEEK, yes.
Imagine if people suddenly disappeared. As in walang tao. How would the world change? I've seen about thirty minutes of the documentary and well, wow. Pets, especially small breeds of dogs, locked in houses are doomed.
Anyway, here's a sample of the documentary. And I think the world will do just fine without us. I just feel sorry for the zoo animals in their cages.
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
Avatar: The Last Airbender - Sozin's Comet
All good things must come to an end and for me, Avatar ended a few moments ago. The four part series finale was, for a lack of a better term, quite contenting. Everything went as one would expect (well, at least for me). Also, I'd like to note that the fight scenes were made of pure awesomeness.
I know you wouldn't want any spoilers or anything, but I just want to say: I absolutely love Toph. And what happened to Azula really wasn't surprising.
Anyway, on with regular programming.
I know you wouldn't want any spoilers or anything, but I just want to say: I absolutely love Toph. And what happened to Azula really wasn't surprising.
Anyway, on with regular programming.
Monday, July 21, 2008
What happened: The Evil Cooking Master Special: Steamed Edition, Overnight Version
The Overlord and the Mahstah had just left so I am now free to chronicle the events (and recipes) that happened during the Evil Cooking Master Special: Steamed Edition, Overnight Version – the one that you poor schmucks didn’t attend. Anyway, let’s start at the beginning.
I pulled off a half BamBam (only 30 minutes late) and picked up the Overlord and the Mahstah (aka Noreen and Rica) at the LRT Buendia Chowking. After Chowking finished slaughtering the pig and harvesting the rice for Rica’s food, we were on our merry way to LP. We then went to the giant grocery store that is not pure gold and shopped for stuff. Good thing the guard had wisely asked Rica to surrender her rockstar umbrella; by the time we got the “one basket only” queue, she was ready to stab people with it.
Anyway, the menu: siomai, leche plan (yes, with a P.), mac and cheese, and steamed banana cake.
Siomai (by the Triumvirate of Evil)
Ingredients: ground pork, chopped garlic, chopped onions, salt pepper, siomai wrapper
Instructions: We pretty much just winged this since we didn’t have a recipe with us – just bits and pieces of memories of our moms doing it.
Steamed Banana Cake by the Overlord (internet recipes… mmm.)
Mac and Cheese (otherwise known as Rio Specialty number 2)
Ingredients: chopped bacon, milk, butter, macaroni, cooking oil, chopped garlic and onions, salt and pepper, flour, and CHEESE (Queso does wonders. Note: Queso, not Quez-O)
Instructions: Cook macaroni in boiling pot of water with salt (or half a block of pork cube) and cooking oil. In another pan, throw bacon in until it gives out the wonderfully sinful smell and throw in garlic and onions. Dissolve flour in some water. Throw in milk, cheese, and flour. Simmer until nice and thick.
Aling Charing’s Leche Plan I
Ingredients:
- 10 itlog ng manok (pula lamang)
- 1 latang gatas-ebaporada (malaking lata)
- 1 latang gatas-kondensada (malaking lata)
- 1 – ½ puswelong asukal (puti)
- 1 kutsarang balat ng dayap (ginayat) o 1 kutsaritang banilya
(I have! I have!)wala pala ako nito =(
Lagyan ng dalawang kutsaritang arnibal ang llanera at ibuhos dito ang pinaghalong sangkap. Hindi dapat pagkapunuin ang llanera. Pangalahatiin lamang.
Pasingawan sa kaldero o kawali na may takip. Hindi rin dapat napakarami ng tubig na pakukuluin sa kaldero upang hindi umapaw sa llanera.
Pasingawin hanggang sa maluto. Palamigin muna bago isalin ang leche plan sa ibang lalagyan.
There you have it folks. Pics later!
Notes:
- Ang “puswelo” ay cup.
- Aling Charing is not very fond of specifying things like number of servings, how long it takes to cook…
- Mac and Cheese is pure evil.
- The only semi-non-evil thing we made was the steamed banana cake.
- We still need to perfect the siomai.
- The Overlord has forfeited hopes of achieving nirvana due to Rica’s…. well, Rica. Karma points? What karma points?
- The Overlord has power even over animals, case in point: Cats were getting it on above the kitchen (the kubo room). The Overlord looks up, says, “I haven’t killed a cat, but THERE’S ALWAYS A FIRST TIME.” Cats shut up immediately… And stayed that way for the rest of the day (they are normally loud all day).
- Cockroaches make for interesting topics.
- When faced with the thought of cockroaches lurking in the dark, Rica goes into paranoia mode – a state in which she engages ipis into conversations.
Saturday, July 19, 2008
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
i momentarily woke up from catatonia to bring this newsflash to fellow narutards (i say that like African Americans refer to themselves as niggah, or whatever). anyway, i digress.
What caused the catatonia? Dattebayo sa permanently dropped Naruto Shippuuden from their subtitling list. Here's part of the PR:
This decision is not up for discussion and not negotiable. You can guess why this is happening, and no, there is nothing you can do about it as there will always be assholes who want to piss in the pot so to speak.
What caused the catatonia? Dattebayo sa permanently dropped Naruto Shippuuden from their subtitling list. Here's part of the PR:
This decision is not up for discussion and not negotiable. You can guess why this is happening, and no, there is nothing you can do about it as there will always be assholes who want to piss in the pot so to speak.
It was a difficult decision, but it had to be done.
It's been a fun 4 years!
Dattebayo Fansubs, LLC - We've never been more serioussigh. a very sad day indeed. and i say that for myself.
The Bummage Chronicles, part 5
June 28, Saturday: The avocado tree at home (dad’s house) had produced copious amounts of fruit once again. Ate Marcia (preggy sister-in-law-to-be) asked for some so I went with them to get some. (The trip for three people ended up with four kids, Ate Marcia’s big sister, and Loida.)
When I got there, Loida was already up the tree, gathering avocadoes. While she did that, Ate Marcia and her sister asked me about the neighborhood and the various sights. They saw attorney’s mango and suha trees, Aling Tess’ langka and cacao trees, and the various greenery that grow in our yard: sampaguita, kamote, siling labuyo, and the coconut trees.
I was hit by a sudden attack of nostalgia. The old neighborhood had changed. Mr. Tan demolished his house and is now building a new one, and there are no kids around anymore (the kids in that neighborhood were now grown up and have moved away, like my brother and myself), among other things. But some things still haven’t changed. Like the fruit exchange every year. We give away our avocadoes and get mangoes, langka, and other stuff whenever the said fruits are in season.
Oh-kay. That really wasn’t the highlight of the day. When the visitors had left, I stayed with my dad for coffee and cigarettes. We got to talking about the old kids in the neighborhood (read: my old punchb-- er, playmates). Since dad used to have a school service and took a lot of the kids to school, he has made it a point to find out how each one turned out. In the middle of the conversation, my dad said, “Remember Jet? Pip’s son, the one you had a fist fight with when you were a kid.”
Me: What fistfight? I had a fistfight with Jet? I remember making Marlon and Andrew cry, but not Jet. (This shouldn’t be a surprise. I’ve been a tomboy since childhood.)
Dad: You had a fight with Andrew? I didn’t know that. (In my mind, I remembered that only my lola was home when that happened. Details later.) You bloodied Jet’s lip! Of course, that had his mom come here and speak to your mom (who apparently laughed it off but still gave me a couple of hits with a tsinelas).
Me: I really don’t remember.
Dad: You said you had a fight with Andrew? He works at the bank now. He looks okay, though the stilettos are really something.
Me: Excuse me?
Dad: You know those pointy shoes women wear?
Me: HE’S GAY?
Dad: Well, yes. Come to think of it, Jet’s gay too.
Me: O_O
Rica’s explanation: Maybe they realized they were gay when they got hit on the face.
It’s ironic really, since I turned out gay, too.
-----------------------------------------
Gamer’s note: The Overlord, Noreen, texted me and said, “Confirmed ang Diablo 3.” AAAAAAIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!! *dies*
Related convo with Kuya yesterday, July 18. He was looking over my shoulder while I showed him a couple of stuff on the Internet.
Kuya, looking at my Gmail inbox: What's that interview for?
Me, absently: A gay and lesbian magazine.
Kuya, almost tentatively: Bakit, lesbian ka ba?
Me, still only half paying attention: Bi.
Kuya: WHAT?
Me, looks at him: What?
Kuya (voice dropping to a conspiratorial whisper): Alam ni Nanay?
Me: No.
Kuya: Alam ni Tatay?
Me: No.
I think I gave him quite a scare there. I half expected him to have a heart attack on the spot. Anyway, he knows I don't care if he tells Mom or Dad so he can't use the information (and if he does, I'll call him a raging homophobe forever). Haha. Sorry for the fright, bro.
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