pack that sheet

That is it. I am going to Japan. That's right. Japan. When I get there, I will immediately march into a bookstore and purchase Gatoh Shoji's Full Metal Panic light novels - and maybe grab the Haruhi Suzumiya light novels too. And then go home to read them (a side trip in between to Akihabara might not be a bad idea).

I must have them, I tell you. Dammit, the air fare to Japan and the shit I'll have to go through (I have a Japanese last name and I heard all about the hell my cousins - on different occasions - went through just to get blasted passports and/or visas.)  will be taxing on my depleted funds and my frayed sanity, but blast it, I will go there. Either that, or buy the stuff from Amazon.

The problem with the latter option is that the online English mega store doesn't seem to know the difference between light novels, manga, short story compilations, and graphic novels, among other stuff the franchise has spawned. Plus, nobody on the bloody internet seems to be selling the last novels in the series. Wait, scratch that. After exhausting all of my google powers, I found that Amazon Japan has the reprinted versions. Downside is, I have to figure out how to pay for them. Apparently, Amazon.jp doesn't do PayPal. Blast it, I don't do credit cards either.

Add this to the fact that I read and write hiragana/katakana like a drunk kindergartener, heaven forbid the kanji. Here's an example of me reading Japanese:

フルメタル

That squiggly line is supposed to be Fu right? (Checks notes.) Oh, yeah, Fu. (On to the next letter.) I remember what that is, I just can't figure out what. Wait, it's Ru. Yay! Next letter is, hmm. That's an M syllable, isn't it? Why don't I just go ahead and look this up in Google? No, that's cheating and I'll never learn if I do that. Ah, I remember now, Me! Next it's... Ta, right? (Stares at notes.) Yes, it's Ta. (Thinks, "I have horrible penmanship, even in goddamned katakana.") The last one's another Ru. FuRuMeTaRu. Full Metal.

By the time I figure it out, I'd be bleeding from bashing my head against my desk.

But I don't care. It might take months before I can fully master all the squiggly lines, but I don't care. I will buy them and I will read them. I need to know what happens to Sagara Sousuke and Chidori Kaname after Amalgam takes Chidori and Mythril's reduced to a pile of burning rubble. I want to know what happens to the rest of them.

I'll explain why I'm this rabid in a few days, right now, I'll need my energy to find the books. Note: If anybody, ANYBODY, suggests that I wait for TokyoPop to translate the rest of the books, which they've had a licence to since last year and have since released the first 3 books (at the rate they're going, I'm going to be sanjuu when they release the last one), make sure that your jaw's ready the next time I see you because I will be sure to break it.

Another note: Those who think I'm a violent, rabid, and unreasonable person will need to get lessons in Exaggeration and Sarcasm. I am serious about getting those books though. If you know somebody nice in Japan who can help me out, please please please please point me in their direction.