Saturday, November 8, 2008

pseudo blogging and the wonders of StumbleUpon

My life has been a cliche lately, and by now I think I fit the stereotype of one living on the Internet. Earlier today, I registered to StumbleUpon and found this: The Lazy Bloggers Post Generator. I've found it quite useful, and here's a couple of examples:

OMFG! I just got slapped with a wet salmon - really - I have not updated this since Paris Hilton was in jail... You would not believe how insane my life has become. I hope you still love me!.

I am totally exhausted with waiting for a fine young gentleman to propose, learning to speak Japanese, just generally being asleep, dreaming and chancing to anyone unfortunate to cross my path, my day seems to be a litany of stuff and giggles from the second I am woken by murderous Teletubbies to I am begging my kid to go to sleep or so help me God that kid will be decorating my wall, 'Duct tape still life' (note: I do not have a kid, I just found it extremely funny). I am convinced that I absolutely deserve this after all my hard work. but this damned rock is heavy.

I absolutely, positively promise I will make more of an effort to blog more often until the nice men in the white coats come back. Go with God, good friends. Don't hold your breath though, you're likely to turn blue..

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Holy Blog Of Doom, Batman! I just had a terrible scare when I thought I have not updated this since Hammertime was in the charts... You would not believe how hard it is being waited on hand and foot and generally lounging around. Apologies to my regular readers! Even the little blue ones!.

I am hopped up on caffeine with only your readership as life preserver, hoping you haven't found other blogs, just generally being a pain to every man and his dog, my day is a nightmare I would like to wake up from the light through yonder window breaks to whenever. I am avoiding recapture. can't they see I am blogging.

I will try to remember I promised you I will update you with my nefarious activities as soon as I get a chance. Until I need your shoulder to cry on. Cats if you don't..

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Holy Snapping Duck Do! I just opened mine eyes, and lo! I have not updated this since long before Shakespeare wast a boy... You would not believe my anguish at my misdoings. Whenever will they invent electricity!.

I am lost in a sea of pseudo-olde-english with waiting for a fine young gentleman to propose, selling my soul to Google, just generally being of great concern to my psychologist, my day is full to overflowing from the first cockadoodledoo from the rooster to 11pm at which point I fall asleep on the couch. I am totally exhausted. perchance.

I declare solemnly to send a missive out on the wire, post-haste. Sincerest apologies. This is for my ever faithful, devoted public..

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Good Gravy! I just got a bajillion whiny emails saying I have not updated this since they let me out!... You would not believe it only hurts when I laugh. I'm a blogger so I will though!.

I am absolutely consumed with keeping up with my favourite daytime soaps, watching the grass grow, just generally being an embarrassment to society in general, my day seems to be packed from crawling out of bed at 6.30 to morning. I am beyond drunk most of the time. but who cares.

I swear on the bones of my ancestors I will try to remember my blog password more often in future. Honestly! Until my paycheck dawneth..

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.... .... .... I don't think I'll ever blog again. (Or if I do, why think up what to write? It can take 5 minutes with drop down menus.)

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