i don't like fruitcake

I don't like fruitcake (the gift that's regiven), that's gospel truth. What has inspired this useless confession, you ask. Well, whenever the holidays roll along, I get fruitcake and it's all because of that one polite white lie I stupidly gave a number of years back.

Cousin: Ikaw yung may paborito mo sa fruitcake, di ba? (You're the one who likes fruitcake, right?)
Me, mortified but afraid to embarass said cousin: Opo.

Poor idiot that I am, I have received tons of fruitcake since that day. Plus, I have to EAT fruitcake whenever I'm at Bulacan during the holidays - I keep thinking of places other than my gullet to stuff the cake in (If I'm lucky, I can pass the cake to a younger cousin while tita isn't looking).

I am tired of fruitcake (and lugging it from Bulacan to Las Pinas), and so this year, I swear to tell the truth more (or at least try). Maybe by Christmas, I've built up enough courage to tell my titas that they can keep the boxes of fruitcake they keep shovelling onto my lap.

In light of my new "tell the truth more (or at least try)" policy, I am compelled to reveal a few truths.

• I don't like eating food that's gotten cold. I loathe it so much I get the gag reflex whenever I do. During my spoiled brat days I refused to eat food that had gone cold and those subject to my brattiness were forced to reheat the said food.
• I get instantly turned off when guys ask for my Friendster account the day or a few days after we meet. After a few months, I can't even remember where I know them from and I'm too much of a lazy fart to delete them and thus my Friendster is all cluttered with people I don't know/don't remember.
• My deepest insecurity comes from my writing. I'm not afraid I can't write, I'm afraid I'm not good enough.
• I am afraid of heights. I'm not afraid of ghosts, robbers, or physical injury, I am afraid of high places. It's a weird and irrational thing, actually. I'm more afraid I'd be tempted to jump off than I'm afraid of falling and having people mop my remains off the ground floor.
• I'd rather get a kick in the shins than get a toothache.
• I can will people into non-existence - for me, that's better than showing passive-aggressiveness.
• My know-it-all attitude has gotten me into pretty embarrassing situations. There was this one time with roomie Jen: I insisted that Puerto Galera was in Palawan. Imagine my utter mortification when I googled it. And that time when Lei and I got lost in Ongpin. (Yes, Mabie, I can be a geotard too.)
  
• When I was a kid, I wore tights and butterfly wings made of stockings and "flew" around the stage for a school production... Wait, that wasn't me. That was my brother.