My life has been a cliche lately, and by now I think I fit the stereotype of one living on the Internet. Earlier today, I registered to StumbleUpon and found this: The Lazy Bloggers Post Generator. I've found it quite useful, and here's a couple of examples:
OMFG! I just got slapped with a wet salmon - really - I have not updated this since Paris Hilton was in jail... You would not believe how insane my life has become. I hope you still love me!.
I am totally exhausted with waiting for a fine young gentleman to propose, learning to speak Japanese, just generally being asleep, dreaming and chancing to anyone unfortunate to cross my path, my day seems to be a litany of stuff and giggles from the second I am woken by murderous Teletubbies to I am begging my kid to go to sleep or so help me God that kid will be decorating my wall, 'Duct tape still life' (note: I do not have a kid, I just found it extremely funny). I am convinced that I absolutely deserve this after all my hard work. but this damned rock is heavy.
I absolutely, positively promise I will make more of an effort to blog more often until the nice men in the white coats come back. Go with God, good friends. Don't hold your breath though, you're likely to turn blue..
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Holy Blog Of Doom, Batman! I just had a terrible scare when I thought I have not updated this since Hammertime was in the charts... You would not believe how hard it is being waited on hand and foot and generally lounging around. Apologies to my regular readers! Even the little blue ones!.
I am hopped up on caffeine with only your readership as life preserver, hoping you haven't found other blogs, just generally being a pain to every man and his dog, my day is a nightmare I would like to wake up from the light through yonder window breaks to whenever. I am avoiding recapture. can't they see I am blogging.
I will try to remember I promised you I will update you with my nefarious activities as soon as I get a chance. Until I need your shoulder to cry on. Cats if you don't..
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Holy Snapping Duck Do! I just opened mine eyes, and lo! I have not updated this since long before Shakespeare wast a boy... You would not believe my anguish at my misdoings. Whenever will they invent electricity!.
I am lost in a sea of pseudo-olde-english with waiting for a fine young gentleman to propose, selling my soul to Google, just generally being of great concern to my psychologist, my day is full to overflowing from the first cockadoodledoo from the rooster to 11pm at which point I fall asleep on the couch. I am totally exhausted. perchance.
I declare solemnly to send a missive out on the wire, post-haste. Sincerest apologies. This is for my ever faithful, devoted public..
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Good Gravy! I just got a bajillion whiny emails saying I have not updated this since they let me out!... You would not believe it only hurts when I laugh. I'm a blogger so I will though!.
I am absolutely consumed with keeping up with my favourite daytime soaps, watching the grass grow, just generally being an embarrassment to society in general, my day seems to be packed from crawling out of bed at 6.30 to morning. I am beyond drunk most of the time. but who cares.
I swear on the bones of my ancestors I will try to remember my blog password more often in future. Honestly! Until my paycheck dawneth..
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.... .... .... I don't think I'll ever blog again. (Or if I do, why think up what to write? It can take 5 minutes with drop down menus.)
Saturday, November 8, 2008
Friday, November 7, 2008
on eternal recurrence and falling trees
Since I was otherwise preoccupied with grind-a-thon Disgaea yesterday (and today), I'm going to write about a couple of things today.
Obama won and while that is a triumph for smart people everywhere, the pessimist in me is bugging me about Nietzsche's eternal recurrence and Machiavelli's Il Prinsipe.)
(I heard from Gino that) Michael Crichton died. He offered a different kind of horror (different from Stephen King): Sphere, Congo, The Andromeda Strain, Jurassic Park, Lost World, and Eaters of the Dead, among others. Through his books, I learned about the Chaos Theory and the (fictional) Odd-man Hypothesis. Cheers to you, Mr. Crichton.
Imagine your brain is a circuit board and certain emotions cause certain circuits to light up and some to turn off. Scientists have discovered that love and hate turn on two of the same circuits in the brain (and turns off judgement and reasoning). That probably explains why both extreme love and hate can lead to unhealthy fixations on certain persons. The scientists did note that between the two polar opposite emotions, hate is far more rational. Hate only turns off reasoning and judgement a tad bit, while love in comparison looks as if it ignores them completely. University College London professor, Semir Zeki explains:
"This may seem surprising since hate can also be an all-consuming passion like love. But whereas in romantic love, the lover is often less critical and judgemental regarding the loved person, it is more likely that in the context of hate the hater may want to exercise judgement in calculating moves to harm, injure or otherwise exact revenge," Professor Zeki said.
"Interestingly, the activity of some of these structures in response to a hated face is proportional in strength to the declared intensity of hate, thus allowing the subjective state of hate to be objectively quantified. This finding may have implications in criminal cases."
Makes sense, you'd need reasoning and judgement to properly plot the loathed person's downfall (or fall down a cliff). Crazy and ironic. How do you know you're not in-hate when you're in-love? I have loads of other questions stemming from this, but I'll tackle them some other time.
(Via JessicarulestheUniverse and Independent.co.uk)
I have been told a good many times that writing as I have (and still am) will get me nowhere. Lately, I've been thinking about "If a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?" but in terms of "If I write an article and no one reads it, does anybody give a flying fart?" Yes, it's one of those philosophically sarcastic days again. Ah, mediocrity.
Obama won and while that is a triumph for smart people everywhere, the pessimist in me is bugging me about Nietzsche's eternal recurrence and Machiavelli's Il Prinsipe.)
---------------------------------
(I heard from Gino that) Michael Crichton died. He offered a different kind of horror (different from Stephen King): Sphere, Congo, The Andromeda Strain, Jurassic Park, Lost World, and Eaters of the Dead, among others. Through his books, I learned about the Chaos Theory and the (fictional) Odd-man Hypothesis. Cheers to you, Mr. Crichton.
---------------------------------
Imagine your brain is a circuit board and certain emotions cause certain circuits to light up and some to turn off. Scientists have discovered that love and hate turn on two of the same circuits in the brain (and turns off judgement and reasoning). That probably explains why both extreme love and hate can lead to unhealthy fixations on certain persons. The scientists did note that between the two polar opposite emotions, hate is far more rational. Hate only turns off reasoning and judgement a tad bit, while love in comparison looks as if it ignores them completely. University College London professor, Semir Zeki explains:
"This may seem surprising since hate can also be an all-consuming passion like love. But whereas in romantic love, the lover is often less critical and judgemental regarding the loved person, it is more likely that in the context of hate the hater may want to exercise judgement in calculating moves to harm, injure or otherwise exact revenge," Professor Zeki said.
"Interestingly, the activity of some of these structures in response to a hated face is proportional in strength to the declared intensity of hate, thus allowing the subjective state of hate to be objectively quantified. This finding may have implications in criminal cases."
Makes sense, you'd need reasoning and judgement to properly plot the loathed person's downfall (or fall down a cliff). Crazy and ironic. How do you know you're not in-hate when you're in-love? I have loads of other questions stemming from this, but I'll tackle them some other time.
(Via JessicarulestheUniverse and Independent.co.uk)
---------------------------------
I have been told a good many times that writing as I have (and still am) will get me nowhere. Lately, I've been thinking about "If a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?" but in terms of "If I write an article and no one reads it, does anybody give a flying fart?" Yes, it's one of those philosophically sarcastic days again. Ah, mediocrity.
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
I don't talk baby
Just as I promise to write something everyday, I come up with kaput. Then Inspiration comes along, knocks on my door, and promptly hands me a baby.I don't talk baby. I mean, how exactly do you communicate with a one month old kid? The said kid's verbal capacities are limited to cooing, gurgling, grunting, and occasionally, screaming bloody murder. He doesn't know how to make the proper sounds yet and I refuse to make embarrassing baby sounds. I continually struggle with coherence as it is, why would I want to make (borderline retard) cooing sounds?
But it's nice to talk to a baby.
Maron, my nephew, was here a few minutes ago with his parental units 1 and 2, along with my mom. I turned off the PC, left the bat cave (read: my room) and went downstairs where the baby was lying on the couch having a great conversation with the ceiling fan. Everybody evaporated to other parts of the house, leaving me with the wide eyed, plump, and wriggling baby.
I think it's the most apt use for the term "captive audience." He can't crawl yet, he can't tell me to put a sock in it, and he can't protest with me holding the milk bottle hostage. He stared at me and I stared back at him. I had no idea what to say. I, the High Banana of Pointless Anecdotes and Useless Information, was at loss. Rica suggested that I reveal my plans for world domination and other nefarious life lessons to the kid, in the hopes that he'll continue what I started lest I fail. Anyway.
It's nice talking to a baby. Maron has learned to reply with a grunt at the right moments, flailing his arms for emphasis. He laughs at some points too, and I guess he sees the irony the grown ups cannot.
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After our conversation, the other people in the house rematerialized and proceeded to harass the hapless baby. They had him wear sunglasses while he tried as best a baby could to wriggle and flail his arms out of it. And then they mercilessly took pictures. I thought it was hilarious until parental unit 1, otherwise known as Kuya, pointed out that the kid can retaliate when we're old and feeble.
Ha. I'll cross that bridge when I get there. (I suddenly feel nostalgic, much like Martin Sloan in that Twilight Zone episode, Walking Distance. "I was living in a dead run and I was tired." In case you haven't seen that or forgot, it's the episode where a tired old guy passes within walking distance of his home town, and finds himself in his past and grows envious of his young counterpart's carefree existence.)
Monday, November 3, 2008
When I think happy thoughts, I'll think of Seven Corners
I just got home, and so full to bursting I can hardly breathe. I'm crashing from all the sugar I consumed, and if I eat like that for the rest of my life, I'd probably grow in mass and get assigned my personal zip code. Of course, I exaggerate, but I'm really really full. It all started with this:
Chibichan: Ne, your birthday's next week! What are you going to do on your birthday?
Me (lets out an inward *Ugh*): Nothing. I'm broke, dude. (This what I answered every time someone asked me about my plans.) Well, I'll probably just stay home and have a movie marathon.
Chibichan: WHAT?! That's sacrilege. We must do something on your birthday!
Me: ... (I was miserable, and I would usually explode at that. Depressing explanation below.)
Chibichan: Aha! I know!
Me: Nani?
Chibichan: I know the perfect thing we can do! Free up your schedule for next weekend or next next weekend.
Me (thinks, "I do not have a schedule."): What?
Chibichan: It's a surprise, silly. You have a good sense of direction, right? Just say yes.
(At this point, I honestly thought she was going to take me hiking in mountainous boonies somewhere.)
Me: As long as I can wear jeans, yes.
[Depressing explanation: For some weird reason, I am always miserable on the days leading up and the day of my birthday. It's either I'm lonely or I'm broke. I'm talking the kind of broke that only bread winners and independent people living away from home know - no money for bills, food, or for anything else. It's a miserable feeling, and sometimes it gets so desperate that you seriously think that living with one kidney wouldn't be so bad. But if I had to choose between broke and the money arguments my parents once had - for October is an exam month - I'd choose broke.]
A few days later, I found out what the surprise was as Chibichan couldn't contain her excitement. We were going to have dinner at the Seven Corners Restaurant at the Crowne Plaza Hotel (Ortigas). I had no idea where that was, and I was quite worried about the jeans part but I went anyway.
Meeting place - SM Megamall. Let me say it again: I hate big malls.
Let's say SM Megamall is 300 meters (small estimate) from end to end. I walked from building A to building B, trying to make heads or tails of the place. That's 300 meters. Then I walked back from building B to A (to get to Powerbooks), another 300 meters. From Powerbooks, we had to walk to the middle of the mall where the cabs were, so that's 150 meters. (Chibichan walked from the building B to A and then to the middle. We had missed each other in the blasted mall.) So more or less, I walked one kilometer. How many calories do you think that was?
Anyway, we - determined to replace all the calories we spent walking - got a cab.
(Anyway, it's been a while since I saw Chibichan and let me just say her Taebo's paying off big time.)
We got to the hotel and after 2 milliseconds of feeling terribly underdressed, we hopped over a red cordon (or whatever that's called) and went in. And like a kid who had never seen lavish furnishings, high ceilings, and creepy hotel elevators, I shamelessly stared at everything in awe. And wow, the restaurant. It's surreal, really, especially for someone like me whose idea of dining out can be summarized in four things: fastfood, foodcourt, tapsihan, or Chuck's at Landmark.
The buffet spans nearly the entire length of the resto, with all the wonderful food lined up. The waiters were courteous (By courteous, I mean they pull out a seat for you and all that. I am a simpleton, I know.). The place had an overall comfy feeling - it's not garishly lit and it was quiet, as opposed to the canned music everywhere else.
Seven Corners' International buffet features Oriental, Japanese, Mediterranean, and Western food. Of course, we raided the Japanese part of the buffet first. For the first time ever, I tasted sushi. After numerous assurances from Chibichan that it's salmon and not tuna (something I am deathly allergic to), I clumsily held it with chopsticks and wolfed it down. Let me just say this: I didn't know raw fish tasted so good.
We also had prawns (a little bland, but I love prawns), wonderful shrimp salad (with olives, cucumber, and cherry tomatoes), shrimp sushi (Know the one in Cooking Mama? That one.), and a meat dish (I have no idea what it was. It looked like chopped pork with things thrown in but it was good nonetheless.). I skipped the lobster since I felt that I was pushing my luck with all the raw fish and shrimp. I mean, sure I can stand the itch, but I thought the crew would be alarmed if one of their diners suddenly resembled a giant red sore on legs. Also, several other goodies needed sampling.
We rested for a bit and found a nice kuya grilling steak. You just have to tell him how thick you wanted it, how many slices of steak you wanted, and how you wanted it. Since I was half full with the Jap food, I got a normal sized one (around half the plate) well done. The cheerful kuya cook laughed when I said, "Very very well done." I laughed too, and explained to Chibichan, "I once had a well done rare steak."
While waiting for our steaks, we got mashed potatoes, gravy, baked mussels (oh my good god, mozzarella), and lamb. Neither of us had lamb before, and after one bite, we agreed on what it tasted like: Curry. Somebody seemed to have gone crazy with the curry powder in the kitchen. That aside, the steak was heavenly. I love steak, and if I had an oven like Ayee's, I'd probably cook steak often. Chibichan pointed at my steak with her knife, "Hey, it still has a rare part. Next time, just tell them to 'burn it.'"
Full to bursting, we sipped our butterfly iced teas (with lemons and cherries on top) and talked for a long time. Somebody was having a function at the semi-enclosed space at the other side of the restaurant and the waiters sang Happy Birthday. Chibichan turns to me and says, "Want me to get them to sing for you, too?" I vehemently said no - I'd probably die of embarrassment.
We were too full to raid the other parts of the buffet and so went for dessert. Dessert! Oh the wonderful dessert. When I saw the chocolate fountain, I thought that it was the happiest birthday in my life. Chibichan was just beside herself. There were just too many yummy looking things to try out. I grabbed a stick with fruit and bathed it in the fountain, nabbed three scoops of ice cream (heavenly pistachio, cookies and cream, and mocha), and snatched a chocolate rum cake and a couple of melons and grapes from the fruit stack. Chibichan grabbed sugar on a stick (It was supposed to be meringue, but she can't spot the egg white taste.), chocolate creme brulee, pandan ricotta, flan, chocolate mousse, some fruit and a scoop of pistachio ice cream.
Oh joy. I don't think I can describe the experience effectively with adjectives, but really, those little desserts were little packages of happiness. I don't know if it was the sugar (I took one taste from the little flan and shivered. As in shivered. That little dynamo must have been made with a vat of syrup and a sack of sugar.), the chocolate (Premium dark chocolate was flowing from that heavenly fountain.), or all of the other wonderful things we ate, but by the end of it all, we were both giddy.
Domo arigato, Chibichan, for that wonderful wonderful semi-suprise birthday dinner. You did it, you definitely, definitely cheered me up. I'm in such a stupor that I repeat my adverbs and adjectives, but, really, thanks, for making this birthday not as miserable as the others. And for sitting across the table and taking my mind off stuff. And for being a sugoi tomodachi.
We are going to go back there, we definitely will.
Chibichan: Ne, your birthday's next week! What are you going to do on your birthday?
Me (lets out an inward *Ugh*): Nothing. I'm broke, dude. (This what I answered every time someone asked me about my plans.) Well, I'll probably just stay home and have a movie marathon.
Chibichan: WHAT?! That's sacrilege. We must do something on your birthday!
Me: ... (I was miserable, and I would usually explode at that. Depressing explanation below.)
Chibichan: Aha! I know!
Me: Nani?
Chibichan: I know the perfect thing we can do! Free up your schedule for next weekend or next next weekend.
Me (thinks, "I do not have a schedule."): What?
Chibichan: It's a surprise, silly. You have a good sense of direction, right? Just say yes.
(At this point, I honestly thought she was going to take me hiking in mountainous boonies somewhere.)
Me: As long as I can wear jeans, yes.
[Depressing explanation: For some weird reason, I am always miserable on the days leading up and the day of my birthday. It's either I'm lonely or I'm broke. I'm talking the kind of broke that only bread winners and independent people living away from home know - no money for bills, food, or for anything else. It's a miserable feeling, and sometimes it gets so desperate that you seriously think that living with one kidney wouldn't be so bad. But if I had to choose between broke and the money arguments my parents once had - for October is an exam month - I'd choose broke.]
A few days later, I found out what the surprise was as Chibichan couldn't contain her excitement. We were going to have dinner at the Seven Corners Restaurant at the Crowne Plaza Hotel (Ortigas). I had no idea where that was, and I was quite worried about the jeans part but I went anyway.
Meeting place - SM Megamall. Let me say it again: I hate big malls.
Let's say SM Megamall is 300 meters (small estimate) from end to end. I walked from building A to building B, trying to make heads or tails of the place. That's 300 meters. Then I walked back from building B to A (to get to Powerbooks), another 300 meters. From Powerbooks, we had to walk to the middle of the mall where the cabs were, so that's 150 meters. (Chibichan walked from the building B to A and then to the middle. We had missed each other in the blasted mall.) So more or less, I walked one kilometer. How many calories do you think that was?
Anyway, we - determined to replace all the calories we spent walking - got a cab.
(Anyway, it's been a while since I saw Chibichan and let me just say her Taebo's paying off big time.)
We got to the hotel and after 2 milliseconds of feeling terribly underdressed, we hopped over a red cordon (or whatever that's called) and went in. And like a kid who had never seen lavish furnishings, high ceilings, and creepy hotel elevators, I shamelessly stared at everything in awe. And wow, the restaurant. It's surreal, really, especially for someone like me whose idea of dining out can be summarized in four things: fastfood, foodcourt, tapsihan, or Chuck's at Landmark.
The buffet spans nearly the entire length of the resto, with all the wonderful food lined up. The waiters were courteous (By courteous, I mean they pull out a seat for you and all that. I am a simpleton, I know.). The place had an overall comfy feeling - it's not garishly lit and it was quiet, as opposed to the canned music everywhere else.
Seven Corners' International buffet features Oriental, Japanese, Mediterranean, and Western food. Of course, we raided the Japanese part of the buffet first. For the first time ever, I tasted sushi. After numerous assurances from Chibichan that it's salmon and not tuna (something I am deathly allergic to), I clumsily held it with chopsticks and wolfed it down. Let me just say this: I didn't know raw fish tasted so good.
We also had prawns (a little bland, but I love prawns), wonderful shrimp salad (with olives, cucumber, and cherry tomatoes), shrimp sushi (Know the one in Cooking Mama? That one.), and a meat dish (I have no idea what it was. It looked like chopped pork with things thrown in but it was good nonetheless.). I skipped the lobster since I felt that I was pushing my luck with all the raw fish and shrimp. I mean, sure I can stand the itch, but I thought the crew would be alarmed if one of their diners suddenly resembled a giant red sore on legs. Also, several other goodies needed sampling.
We rested for a bit and found a nice kuya grilling steak. You just have to tell him how thick you wanted it, how many slices of steak you wanted, and how you wanted it. Since I was half full with the Jap food, I got a normal sized one (around half the plate) well done. The cheerful kuya cook laughed when I said, "Very very well done." I laughed too, and explained to Chibichan, "I once had a well done rare steak."
While waiting for our steaks, we got mashed potatoes, gravy, baked mussels (oh my good god, mozzarella), and lamb. Neither of us had lamb before, and after one bite, we agreed on what it tasted like: Curry. Somebody seemed to have gone crazy with the curry powder in the kitchen. That aside, the steak was heavenly. I love steak, and if I had an oven like Ayee's, I'd probably cook steak often. Chibichan pointed at my steak with her knife, "Hey, it still has a rare part. Next time, just tell them to 'burn it.'"
Full to bursting, we sipped our butterfly iced teas (with lemons and cherries on top) and talked for a long time. Somebody was having a function at the semi-enclosed space at the other side of the restaurant and the waiters sang Happy Birthday. Chibichan turns to me and says, "Want me to get them to sing for you, too?" I vehemently said no - I'd probably die of embarrassment.
We were too full to raid the other parts of the buffet and so went for dessert. Dessert! Oh the wonderful dessert. When I saw the chocolate fountain, I thought that it was the happiest birthday in my life. Chibichan was just beside herself. There were just too many yummy looking things to try out. I grabbed a stick with fruit and bathed it in the fountain, nabbed three scoops of ice cream (heavenly pistachio, cookies and cream, and mocha), and snatched a chocolate rum cake and a couple of melons and grapes from the fruit stack. Chibichan grabbed sugar on a stick (It was supposed to be meringue, but she can't spot the egg white taste.), chocolate creme brulee, pandan ricotta, flan, chocolate mousse, some fruit and a scoop of pistachio ice cream.
Oh joy. I don't think I can describe the experience effectively with adjectives, but really, those little desserts were little packages of happiness. I don't know if it was the sugar (I took one taste from the little flan and shivered. As in shivered. That little dynamo must have been made with a vat of syrup and a sack of sugar.), the chocolate (Premium dark chocolate was flowing from that heavenly fountain.), or all of the other wonderful things we ate, but by the end of it all, we were both giddy.
Domo arigato, Chibichan, for that wonderful wonderful semi-suprise birthday dinner. You did it, you definitely, definitely cheered me up. I'm in such a stupor that I repeat my adverbs and adjectives, but, really, thanks, for making this birthday not as miserable as the others. And for sitting across the table and taking my mind off stuff. And for being a sugoi tomodachi.
We are going to go back there, we definitely will.
Saturday, November 1, 2008
The Demented Hit List: Most Memorable Horror Movie Villains
What's a good horror flick without a good villain? As we all know, the said villain should be properly menacing, horrifying, and ruthless to be able to scare us shitless. It really doesn't matter whether the villain is a person (be it a grown up or a kid), an inanimate object, a vengeful entity or a natural thing. It's not really surprising - people fear one thing or another.
Way, waaay back, the classic monsters reigned over the horror genre: The Phantom of the Opera, Dracula, Frankenstein, Mr. Hyde, Werewolves, Mummies, Zombies, and monsters from the Blue Lagoon and God-knows-where-else, among other things. Relatives of Frankenstein (Bride of Frankenstein, Son of Frankenstein, Frankenstein's Daughter) and Dracula (Dracula's Daughter, Brides of Dracula) also made their presence known, maybe just to show that being a reanimated corpse and/or being undead doesn't mean one should be caught without a social life.
Over the years, I've seen a lot of scary movie villains and so I made a list of the most memorable horror flick villains (for me, at least). I stress "memorable," since some of them aren't really scary and border on campy, hilarious, and/or absurd.
The 10 Most Iconic
Freddie Krueger - If his mug doesn't scare you, his deadly nightmares will.
Michael Myers - The guy wears a William Shatner Halloween mask. Scary.
Jason Voorhees - Hockey mask, machete, and indestructible.
Ghostface (Scream) - Stock up on horror movie trivia.
Leatherface (Texas Chainsaw Massacre) - Chainsaw and crazy family.
Chucky - Murderous doll.
Jigsaw (Saw) - Crazy and bloody contraptions.
Hannibal Lecter - Dinner, anyone?
Pinhead - Constantly plagued by migraines.
Sadako - Climbs out of the TV.
Unseen Things
The Witch in the Blair Witch Project - Running around lost in a forest at night is not something you'd want on your summer vacation itinerary as it is most certainly not fun. Especially when you think you're being chased by somebody - or something.
The ghosts in Poltergeist - You do not want to hear a kid say, "They're here." Prepare for flying objects, bending forks, and other strange occurrences.
Death in the Final Destination series - We don't actually see a hooded guy with a giant scythe, Death comes in the form of many otherwise innocent things: a trickle of water there, a plugged electric appliance here, and a conveniently placed bath tub over there.
Things from Outer Space or an Undiscovered Species of Something
The Blob - It's a moving pile of gooey sludge. That's eeew factor number one. Eeew factor number two goes to its nasty habit of consuming carbon-based objects, humans included. Note: The pile of hungry goo or something like it can also be found in a short story called Slime (Joseph Payne Brennan), a novel and movie called Phantoms (Dean Koontz), and a movie called The Thing (John Carpenter).
Graboids from Tremors - Just when you thought it ends with the ginormous underground worm, it goes and spawns Shriekers and Ass-Blasters (I am not kidding, that's what they called the gliding versions of the things).
The Alien in the Alien flicks - Acid spit. Acid blood. Barbed tail. Secondary mouth. Facehuggers. Thank god for Ellen Ripley.
Kothoga in The Relic - The Relic is often called "Alien in a Museum" and for good reason. And nope, there isn't an eerie resemblance between the movie monsters.
Inanimate Objects and other Otherwise (outwardly) Innocent Things
The Mist - The Mist is not to be mistaken with The Fog - though they're both weather conditions, the former is good while the latter is just, blah (just goes to show that even Superman can't breathe life into a baaad movie). Anyway, what exactly lurks in the mist? You must watch the 2007 film. Watch it, or at least read Stephen King's novella of the same title.
Billie the doll in the Saw series - It's creepy, even creepier when seen riding a tricycle.
The House in The Amityville Horror - 112 Ocean Avenue. In case you're rusty in horror-speak, it's a haunted house and it still exists. Site of the DeFeo murders. Note: While we're on the subject of evil places, I should probably throw in the evil hotel room in 1408 too.
Puppets in Puppet Master - Damn. (It's another one of those movies I watched as a kid.)
The Overlook Hotel in The Shining - It's not only haunted, it's also THE malevolent entity (like the Amityville Horror, Event Horizon, and 1408) in the Stephen King classic.
Event Horizon - Okay, it's from a sci-fi flick, but you've got to admit, the Event Horizon was pretty evil.
The mirrors in the recent movie Mirrors - There are dozens of horror stories about mirrors (Bloody Mary, Candyman, person appearing behind you but isn't there when you look over your shoulder) and heck, a room full of mirrors is just plain scary.
Scary Kids (In movies, and most horror video games, there is nothing scarier than a creepy looking kid.)
Toshio (the kid) in The Grudge - Him, together with the weird scuffling and croaking sounds, are guaranteed to make the hairs you didn't know you had stand up on end.
Alessa Gillespie in Silent Hill - She has achieved infamy both in the survival horror video games and the film adaptation.
Damien Thorn in The Omen - He's the antichrist, so he's got to look and act the part, right?
Regan MacNeil in The Exorcist - Projectile vomiting, spider walk down the stairs, and impossible head twists. Enough said.
The Children of the Corn - Who would've thought that a strange cult full of half pints can wipe off all the adults in their town?
(You can add the kid from the Korean movie Acacia - if you consider Acacia a horror movie and not a documentary about the blasted tree.)
Unkillable, Demented, and Downright Scary (or Downright Absurd)
The Shark in Jaws - Come on, tell me you didn't shout "Get out of the damn water!" or "Swim faster, you idiot!" at the TV when the fin popped out of the surface and the accompanying "dun-dun-dun-dun" background music came on. Note: This entry is probably also applicable to the giant croc in Lake Placid and the Anaconda in that movie with JLo and Ice Cube.
The zombies in 28 Days Later and the remade Dawn of the Dead - Which is scarier - running for dear life with zombies right at your heels or running for dear life while zombies shuffle behind you?
Elite Hunting in Hostel movies - They kidnap people and auction them off to be tortured and killed. I'm not sure about you, but they certainly give the traveler in me the heebie jeebies.
Natre in Shutter - Severe neck pain has never been explained in a more horrifying manner. Well, maybe beside finding a knife sticking out of your neck.
The Wishmaster - This forever smashed my vision of all the genies I ever loved (Jeannie in I Dream of Jeannie and Aladdin's Genie).
The Candyman - Say his name in front of a mirror 5 times and watch buckets of blood spill, specifically, yours.
Pumpkinhead - I vaguely remember this movie (I watched it waaay way back) and while the movie itself is bad, the movie monster Pumpkinhead lurks in my subconscious.
Leprechaun - Probably the most evil little green man ever (or at least he was back when I was nine). Can be distracted by throwing dirty shoes as he is compelled to shine them.
It - It's a clown.
The Killer in Urban Legend - I remember her due to the very very creepy message scrawled in blood: Aren't you glad you didn't turn on the light?
Jack Torrance in The Shining - Cabin fever + writer's block + alcohol = Jack is not a happy writer.
Infected in I Am Legend - They killed the dog. I don't care if they kill Will Smith, they killed the dog. Fine, Will Smith strangled the dog after it becomes infected, but that's beside the point, right?
Demon Knight in Tales from the Crypt - Billy Zane as a very cunning, and very evil demon. Buckets of blood everywhere. (Yes, it's another one of those movies I saw as a kid.)
The Fisherman from I Know (I Still Know, I'll Always Know, I'll Forever and Ever Know... wait) What You Did Last Summer - He evolved from a cranky victim of a hit and run to a supernatural vengeance machine out to get those who keep a death secret.
The Creature in Mimic - Over the course of the series (the other two Mimic movies were direct to video), the Judas Breed evolved from a cross between a mantis and a termite into a giant 6-foot cockroach able to mimic humans. You can't squash it as it is probably bigger than you are, and the tactic of flinging a tsinelas (slippers) against it is probably as ineffectual. How exactly do you kill it? Wrestle it into a vat of Baygon? Hmm...
Way, waaay back, the classic monsters reigned over the horror genre: The Phantom of the Opera, Dracula, Frankenstein, Mr. Hyde, Werewolves, Mummies, Zombies, and monsters from the Blue Lagoon and God-knows-where-else, among other things. Relatives of Frankenstein (Bride of Frankenstein, Son of Frankenstein, Frankenstein's Daughter) and Dracula (Dracula's Daughter, Brides of Dracula) also made their presence known, maybe just to show that being a reanimated corpse and/or being undead doesn't mean one should be caught without a social life.
Over the years, I've seen a lot of scary movie villains and so I made a list of the most memorable horror flick villains (for me, at least). I stress "memorable," since some of them aren't really scary and border on campy, hilarious, and/or absurd.
The 10 Most Iconic
Freddie Krueger - If his mug doesn't scare you, his deadly nightmares will.
Michael Myers - The guy wears a William Shatner Halloween mask. Scary.
Jason Voorhees - Hockey mask, machete, and indestructible.
Ghostface (Scream) - Stock up on horror movie trivia.
Leatherface (Texas Chainsaw Massacre) - Chainsaw and crazy family.
Chucky - Murderous doll.
Jigsaw (Saw) - Crazy and bloody contraptions.
Hannibal Lecter - Dinner, anyone?
Pinhead - Constantly plagued by migraines.
Sadako - Climbs out of the TV.
Unseen Things
The Witch in the Blair Witch Project - Running around lost in a forest at night is not something you'd want on your summer vacation itinerary as it is most certainly not fun. Especially when you think you're being chased by somebody - or something.
The ghosts in Poltergeist - You do not want to hear a kid say, "They're here." Prepare for flying objects, bending forks, and other strange occurrences.
Death in the Final Destination series - We don't actually see a hooded guy with a giant scythe, Death comes in the form of many otherwise innocent things: a trickle of water there, a plugged electric appliance here, and a conveniently placed bath tub over there.
Things from Outer Space or an Undiscovered Species of Something
The Blob - It's a moving pile of gooey sludge. That's eeew factor number one. Eeew factor number two goes to its nasty habit of consuming carbon-based objects, humans included. Note: The pile of hungry goo or something like it can also be found in a short story called Slime (Joseph Payne Brennan), a novel and movie called Phantoms (Dean Koontz), and a movie called The Thing (John Carpenter).
Graboids from Tremors - Just when you thought it ends with the ginormous underground worm, it goes and spawns Shriekers and Ass-Blasters (I am not kidding, that's what they called the gliding versions of the things).
The Alien in the Alien flicks - Acid spit. Acid blood. Barbed tail. Secondary mouth. Facehuggers. Thank god for Ellen Ripley.
Kothoga in The Relic - The Relic is often called "Alien in a Museum" and for good reason. And nope, there isn't an eerie resemblance between the movie monsters.
Inanimate Objects and other Otherwise (outwardly) Innocent Things
The Mist - The Mist is not to be mistaken with The Fog - though they're both weather conditions, the former is good while the latter is just, blah (just goes to show that even Superman can't breathe life into a baaad movie). Anyway, what exactly lurks in the mist? You must watch the 2007 film. Watch it, or at least read Stephen King's novella of the same title.
Billie the doll in the Saw series - It's creepy, even creepier when seen riding a tricycle.
The House in The Amityville Horror - 112 Ocean Avenue. In case you're rusty in horror-speak, it's a haunted house and it still exists. Site of the DeFeo murders. Note: While we're on the subject of evil places, I should probably throw in the evil hotel room in 1408 too.
Puppets in Puppet Master - Damn. (It's another one of those movies I watched as a kid.)
The Overlook Hotel in The Shining - It's not only haunted, it's also THE malevolent entity (like the Amityville Horror, Event Horizon, and 1408) in the Stephen King classic.
Event Horizon - Okay, it's from a sci-fi flick, but you've got to admit, the Event Horizon was pretty evil.
The mirrors in the recent movie Mirrors - There are dozens of horror stories about mirrors (Bloody Mary, Candyman, person appearing behind you but isn't there when you look over your shoulder) and heck, a room full of mirrors is just plain scary.
Scary Kids (In movies, and most horror video games, there is nothing scarier than a creepy looking kid.)
Toshio (the kid) in The Grudge - Him, together with the weird scuffling and croaking sounds, are guaranteed to make the hairs you didn't know you had stand up on end.
Alessa Gillespie in Silent Hill - She has achieved infamy both in the survival horror video games and the film adaptation.
Damien Thorn in The Omen - He's the antichrist, so he's got to look and act the part, right?
Regan MacNeil in The Exorcist - Projectile vomiting, spider walk down the stairs, and impossible head twists. Enough said.
The Children of the Corn - Who would've thought that a strange cult full of half pints can wipe off all the adults in their town?
(You can add the kid from the Korean movie Acacia - if you consider Acacia a horror movie and not a documentary about the blasted tree.)
Unkillable, Demented, and Downright Scary (or Downright Absurd)
The Shark in Jaws - Come on, tell me you didn't shout "Get out of the damn water!" or "Swim faster, you idiot!" at the TV when the fin popped out of the surface and the accompanying "dun-dun-dun-dun" background music came on. Note: This entry is probably also applicable to the giant croc in Lake Placid and the Anaconda in that movie with JLo and Ice Cube.
The zombies in 28 Days Later and the remade Dawn of the Dead - Which is scarier - running for dear life with zombies right at your heels or running for dear life while zombies shuffle behind you?
Elite Hunting in Hostel movies - They kidnap people and auction them off to be tortured and killed. I'm not sure about you, but they certainly give the traveler in me the heebie jeebies.
Natre in Shutter - Severe neck pain has never been explained in a more horrifying manner. Well, maybe beside finding a knife sticking out of your neck.
The Wishmaster - This forever smashed my vision of all the genies I ever loved (Jeannie in I Dream of Jeannie and Aladdin's Genie).
The Candyman - Say his name in front of a mirror 5 times and watch buckets of blood spill, specifically, yours.
Pumpkinhead - I vaguely remember this movie (I watched it waaay way back) and while the movie itself is bad, the movie monster Pumpkinhead lurks in my subconscious.
Leprechaun - Probably the most evil little green man ever (or at least he was back when I was nine). Can be distracted by throwing dirty shoes as he is compelled to shine them.
It - It's a clown.
The Killer in Urban Legend - I remember her due to the very very creepy message scrawled in blood: Aren't you glad you didn't turn on the light?
Jack Torrance in The Shining - Cabin fever + writer's block + alcohol = Jack is not a happy writer.
Infected in I Am Legend - They killed the dog. I don't care if they kill Will Smith, they killed the dog. Fine, Will Smith strangled the dog after it becomes infected, but that's beside the point, right?
Demon Knight in Tales from the Crypt - Billy Zane as a very cunning, and very evil demon. Buckets of blood everywhere. (Yes, it's another one of those movies I saw as a kid.)
The Fisherman from I Know (I Still Know, I'll Always Know, I'll Forever and Ever Know... wait) What You Did Last Summer - He evolved from a cranky victim of a hit and run to a supernatural vengeance machine out to get those who keep a death secret.
The Creature in Mimic - Over the course of the series (the other two Mimic movies were direct to video), the Judas Breed evolved from a cross between a mantis and a termite into a giant 6-foot cockroach able to mimic humans. You can't squash it as it is probably bigger than you are, and the tactic of flinging a tsinelas (slippers) against it is probably as ineffectual. How exactly do you kill it? Wrestle it into a vat of Baygon? Hmm...
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