So this morning, I un-velcroed my ass from bed and went to work. I wore my trusty no-slip (except on mossy underwater rocks and bad footing, therefore it’s your own damn fault for being clumsy) Sandugo sandals, since slipping off a sidewalk onto the path of a moving vehicle is not a good way to die. I was sitting inside the shuttle on my way to work, and a girl was looking in the general direction of my toes.
I realized belatedly that a few weeks back, I was bored enough to do an activity I do once a year. I had cleaned my toenails. Now before you lecture me about the importance of good hygiene: I clean my toenails regularly, thank you very much, but not with the complete ensemble of a pusher, a nipper, a nail file, a nail cutter, and subsequent pink chemicals. Yes, I do it once a year. Yes, I do live like a college dude. Don’t look at me like that.