World Domination Update

Two weeks ago, we re-launched (or launched new categories, pick one) YuppieUniverse.com and we are glad to report that since then, views have rocketed to as many as a fifty unique page views a day. No, dear co-plotters for world domination, it was not me spamming the F5 button. Thanks to the wonders of Google Analytics, we have surmised that some people have actually been reading what’s on the site!

What is on the site?

Since releasing the Prose Fiction and Creative Non-Fiction categories, we now have seven (Seven! Seven, short stories! Ah, ah, ah…) stories up.

The Shop – A joke that started in the hellhole mutated into a fictional shop that sells “Everything”. I still plan on selling balls and backbones though.

Accessory – Give a mundane setting and get an extraordinary object. (More on that later.)

The World Ended Last Night – Submission by Rica’s friend onlysecond. (Actually, we begged her for permission to repost the story on Young Underpaid Professionals and gave her an account in the hopes that she’ll write more amazing Flash Fiction like this story.)

Nakawala sa kural – YuppieUniverse’ first prose/creative non-fiction in Tagalog comes from Rem. It was supposed to be a submission for the Mundane Setting, Extraordinary Object writing exercise but we posted it beforehand so people can see that even the most mundane things can be extraordinary.

Hands – I won’t say anything about this except that it comes from Rica’s crazed mind. (Can you feel the hate? I can feel the hate.)

I Remember – This is Karl’s Flash Fiction. He sent it to me over chat once and I begged him for permission to post it. I have such gullible good friends.

Only Smoke and Ashes – When I first read this story, I decided that the first thing I wanted to do when I get a car is run over somebody with it. (By the way, this story clocks in at 400 something words.)

Creative Non-Fiction-wise, we’ve been pretty busy, too. To make the job hunt sound infinitely more exciting than it really is, we’ve come up with Yuppie Experience: The interview and Yuppie Experience: The exam. Also, since I’ve recently come from a failure of epic proportions, I deemed it necessary to post an article entitled Yuppie Experience: Recovering from Epic Failure.

Oh, and we have three Yuppie Humor posts: Calling tech support, Keep your voice down, and It’s all in the spelling.

We’re accepting submissions for the Mundane Setting, Extraordinary Object writing exercise starting today (You know my email, yes?) and possibly ending two weeks from now. If you have questions, feel free to pester Rica. Remember, submissions are subject to screening – and possibly some constructive critique too.

Plus, the Overlord is going to post some pictures of her newly created Pancakes of Pure Evil, so watch out for that.

(Also, Google Analytics has indicated a visitor from Australia. Julie, I know that’s you, drop a comment once in a while, eh? You too, you lazy bums. Drop a comment, win a friend. Labo.)

(To my friends who have contributed and commented and linked and beta-read: I promise to cook some really evil mac and cheese the next time we meet. I hope you guys aren't on diets.)

YuppieUniverse.com

We’ve done some re-categorizing down at the Yuppie Universe website, check the new categories out:

Prose Fiction (Sometimes, you’ve got to let your inner writer burst out and turn your reality into fiction. Keep in mind though: Submissions to this category are subject to screening. )

• Flash Fiction
• Short Story
• Novelette
• Novella
• Novel
• Epic

Creative Non-Fiction (This category is for those who like venting their corpo angst on Non-Fiction essays and other types of Non-fiction articles.)

• Essay/Non-Fiction Narrative
• Travel

Games, Gaming and Gadgets

• Reviews
• News

TV, Movies and Music

• Reviews
• TV Series
• Movie
• Music

Anime

• Reviews
• Shonen
• Shoujo
• Harem
• Mecha

Manga

• Reviews
• Shonen
• Shoujo
• Harem
• Mecha

Food (Cooking vs. Eating.)

• Yummy Pictures
• Evil Recipes and Cookery

Photography

Humor (Humor makes the world more bearable and work seem enjoyable.)

• Office Fables (You have to admit that sometimes you feel like you’re working with a bunch of animals, hence the title of this subcategory.)
• Phail Pictures (Pictures that illustrate EPIC failure.)
• I am surrounded by idiots

Work and Business

• Blogging
• Business
• Old Underpaid Professional

You’ve got to admit, being a Young Underpaid Professional is not an easy thing. Sometimes you need some stuff to make you forget work stuff, like how your boss is a retarded ass and other shit like that, so we’re going t o provide you with some means of escape.

 

You’re welcome to submit your stuff, the more the better.

Willingly suspending disbelief

While trolling the internet, I found a very interesting idea. In one of her movie reviews, Jessica Zafra said, “… true love is itself a suspension of disbelief.” Enter into the equation Valentine’s season and my apparent ineptitude for relationships and you’ve got an interesting topic – I don’t know where to start.

(The willing suspension of disbelief is basically a theory describing people’s “relationship to art”. You know how when watching a zombie flick, you accept the universe of the movie where an evil super corporation creates a virus that turns the infected into zombies that won’t die unless you shoot them in the head? That’s the willing suspension of disbelief. The theory is, people accept the unbelievable to appreciate the art.)

I’m smart, funny (or at least, I think I am), capable of social interaction, and I obviously don’t have problems with my self esteem. If I was a guy, theoretically, women would want to have children with me. But seeing as I’m a girl, I scare off most guys like the words “commitment” and “fidelity” do. (Most days, I don’t really mind being single, but then Valentine’s Day rolls along and boom! I’m miserable.)

Click for the rest.

i don't like fruitcake

I don't like fruitcake (the gift that's regiven), that's gospel truth. What has inspired this useless confession, you ask. Well, whenever the holidays roll along, I get fruitcake and it's all because of that one polite white lie I stupidly gave a number of years back.

Cousin: Ikaw yung may paborito mo sa fruitcake, di ba? (You're the one who likes fruitcake, right?)
Me, mortified but afraid to embarass said cousin: Opo.

Poor idiot that I am, I have received tons of fruitcake since that day. Plus, I have to EAT fruitcake whenever I'm at Bulacan during the holidays - I keep thinking of places other than my gullet to stuff the cake in (If I'm lucky, I can pass the cake to a younger cousin while tita isn't looking).

I am tired of fruitcake (and lugging it from Bulacan to Las Pinas), and so this year, I swear to tell the truth more (or at least try). Maybe by Christmas, I've built up enough courage to tell my titas that they can keep the boxes of fruitcake they keep shovelling onto my lap.

In light of my new "tell the truth more (or at least try)" policy, I am compelled to reveal a few truths.

• I don't like eating food that's gotten cold. I loathe it so much I get the gag reflex whenever I do. During my spoiled brat days I refused to eat food that had gone cold and those subject to my brattiness were forced to reheat the said food.
• I get instantly turned off when guys ask for my Friendster account the day or a few days after we meet. After a few months, I can't even remember where I know them from and I'm too much of a lazy fart to delete them and thus my Friendster is all cluttered with people I don't know/don't remember.
• My deepest insecurity comes from my writing. I'm not afraid I can't write, I'm afraid I'm not good enough.
• I am afraid of heights. I'm not afraid of ghosts, robbers, or physical injury, I am afraid of high places. It's a weird and irrational thing, actually. I'm more afraid I'd be tempted to jump off than I'm afraid of falling and having people mop my remains off the ground floor.
• I'd rather get a kick in the shins than get a toothache.
• I can will people into non-existence - for me, that's better than showing passive-aggressiveness.
• My know-it-all attitude has gotten me into pretty embarrassing situations. There was this one time with roomie Jen: I insisted that Puerto Galera was in Palawan. Imagine my utter mortification when I googled it. And that time when Lei and I got lost in Ongpin. (Yes, Mabie, I can be a geotard too.)
  
• When I was a kid, I wore tights and butterfly wings made of stockings and "flew" around the stage for a school production... Wait, that wasn't me. That was my brother.

evil food!

Seven Corners (a.k.a. Food Paradise) pics!

gutom....